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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072109">What It Feels Like</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayedictator/pseuds/rayedictator'>rayedictator</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2000s, Beaches, Coming of Age, Cunnilingus, Daddy Issues, Dating, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Falling In Love, First Dates, Friendship, Ice Cream Parlors, Moving On, Oral Sex, Romance, Summer, Unrequited Love, cis lesbian au, pop punk references</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 00:48:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>61,323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayedictator/pseuds/rayedictator</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a messy senior year Gigi Goode moves in with her father to go to a university far from her old home. She expects to spend the summer reveling in her new anonymity, but a job, new friends, and a certain quirky artist give her more than she bargained for.</p><p>About growing up, getting over it, and what love is like.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Jackie Cox/Jan Sport</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. All Downhill From Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Gather 'round everyone. There are tough times ahead, just as there have been tough times all year and I think we all need some happiness and something to look forward to in our lives so, even though it is not done, I'm pledging to start posting this now and updating every week if not every other week (I am currently working on chapter 4 so I should have enough wiggle room for a weekly update, but just in case). Partially for everyone's enjoyment, but partially as something to keep me going towards an uncertain future. I hope everyone enjoys it. Please remember to vote, whether by mail or in person. I voted by mail last week and it was super easy. Now for the notes:</p><p>1. I'm not into RPF of people that aren't really that famous, so making them cis lesbians separates it from reality and makes it more about the drag character which I'm more comfortable with.<br/>2. I put drama in the tags and this sounds more serious than my other fics, but I promise nothing really dark or serious happens.<br/>3. Oh hey, Jackie/Jan that I said I wasn't interested in. Still true really, but this fic is actually kind of inspired by a book I liked as a preteen called Keeping the Moon. In that story there are two girls who are best friends and preteen me who still didn't realize she was a lesbian was like...huh. I guess in the back of my mind I always thought they should get together in the end and I felt like that dynamic worked best for Jackie and Jan so here they are! Note though this is very much a side-pairing and this fic is primarily Gigi/Crystal and the story is through Gigi's eyes.<br/>4. This takes place in 2006 though I don't say it explicitly and as someone who was a geeky outcast in 2006 I liked pop punk (as you do) and because I'm old and nostalgic I felt like name-dropping as much pre-06 pop punk as I could so I'm sorry. (The real reason for the year is so I don't have to deal with many social media elements and so I don't have to worry about the modern necessity of everyone being connected to a smartphone. The pop punk element is just a feature.<br/>5. Other named characters aren't based on anyone and any similarities to other people or characters is coincidental.<br/>6. With that said, the chapter titles are pop punk songs so I'll try to remember to name drop where the chapter title is from each time. This one is from All Downhill From Here by New Found Glory.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi has her feet up on the dashboard, her ipod blasting Yellowcard as loud as it can without her mom worrying over her hearing. Her forehead is resting against the glass of the car window. It's been nothing but beaches for about an hour now. </p><p>She's brought out of her trance by her mom tapping her shoulder and she turns to her mom in the driver's seat, pulling out an earbud.</p><p>“I was saying your name and you didn't hear me, you have that thing too loud again,” her mom says.</p><p>“I know, sorry,” Gigi mumbles, circling her thumb on the center button of her ipod to turn down the sound, “What is it?”</p><p>“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” her mom asks.</p><p>“I already got accepted,” Gigi says, sliding down further in her seat.</p><p>“I know, but you could stay home for the summer. You don't have to move out just yet,” her mom says.</p><p>“<em>Yes, I do</em>,” Gigi's brain supplies.</p><p>“Dad is already expecting me,” Gigi says instead, “And we're almost there.”</p><p>She actually doesn't know that part, but she knows they've been driving almost four hours already and that's how far her father's house is supposed to be. She's never actually been there.</p><p>“Okay,” her mom reaches over and runs a hand through her hair, newly dyed orange with blonde highlights, “But if you ever want to come home you can call me and I'll come get you. No questions asked.”</p><p>Gigi doesn't have the heart to tell her mom she can't imagine a scenario that would make her want to go back home.</p><p> </p><p>Gigi's father lives in a nice, fancy house next to the ocean in a nice New England town located conveniently next to the city her university is in. It's a big contrast to the humble suburban house she's shared with her mother for most of her life and her new home for at least this summer. </p><p>As her mom pulls into the driveway Gigi pulls out her earbuds and shoves them and her ipod into the backpack at her feet.</p><p>“Are you getting out of the car?” Gigi asks, zipping her backpack, “You don't have to.”</p><p>“Of course Gigi, don't be silly,” her mom says, patting her shoulder and then unbuckling her seat belt.</p><p>“Okay,” Gigi says quietly, wishing her mom wouldn't so she didn't have to worry about her parents seeing each other.</p><p>But her mom is already opening her car door so Gigi does the same. She shoulders her backpack and opens the back door of the car to pull out her two suitcases. Her mom grabs one and starts making her way to the front door with Gigi trailing behind.</p><p>“Of course your father can't even be bothered to come out and see you,” her mom mutters mostly to herself.</p><p>“Mom,” Gigi quickens her steps to stand next to her mom, “I got this. You can go.”</p><p>Her mom sighs and sets Gigi's suitcase on the front step. “You sure you'll be okay?”</p><p>“It'll be fine,” Gigi assures.</p><p>Her mom pulls her into a hug that Gigi returns, holding her tight. “Call me if you need anything and I'll be here as soon as I can. You know you'll always be welcomed back home.”</p><p>“I know,” Gigi whispers, blinking to fight back tears.</p><p>Her mom pulls away and kisses her head. “Love you.”</p><p>“Love you too,” Gigi says, dabbing at her eyes.</p><p>Her mom leaves her and Gigi keeps watching her mom until she's in the car. She finally rings the doorbell when she hears her mom's car pull away.</p><p>She has to wait a minute but her dad finally opens the door.</p><p>“Gigi, you're here. How's it going kiddo?” he pats her on the shoulder.</p><p>“Fine,” Gigi says, giving him an awkward, stilted smile.</p><p>“Well, come on in,” her dad says, grabbing one of Gigi's suitcases from her, “Samantha spent the whole day getting the guest room ready.”</p><p>Of course her step-mom spent more time preparing for her arrival, Gigi thinks as she follows her dad inside.</p><p>“Is that Gigi?” her step-mom pokes her head out from another room.</p><p>“Hi,” Gigi says, waving slightly.</p><p>“We're so excited you're staying with us,” Samantha says, coming over to hug Gigi, “I wanted to make you your favorite food for dinner, but I didn't know what it was. I'm sorry. You like roast though, right?”</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi says. She doesn't know why she's apologizing. She probably asked her dad and of course he didn't know her favorite food.</p><p>“It should be done after you get settled in,” Samantha says and scurries back into the other room, presumably the kitchen.</p><p>They next pass the living room where Gigi can see her half brother playing a video game.</p><p>“Kevin, Gigi is here,” her dad says, stopping at the entryway.</p><p>Kevin glances at her quickly, then goes back to his game. “Hi.”</p><p>“Hello,” Gigi says awkwardly. The last time she saw Kevin he was probably around eight and was more interested in talking to her. Now that he was a preteen that's changed she guesses. </p><p>Their dad doesn't seem to have a problem with the awkward exchange and continues leading Gigi upstairs. They go down the hall and her dad opens the last door at the end.</p><p>“This will be your room for the summer,” he says, entering himself and setting down her suitcase.</p><p>“It's nice,” Gigi says, setting down her other suitcase.</p><p>It's quite a boring room, the bed tucked into a corner with a side table, across from the bed is a dresser and on the other side of the room is a door leading presumably to a closet with a full-length mirror next to it and a desk and chair. The walls and furniture are all plain. This is clearly a guest room, but Gigi is technically a guest.</p><p>“I'll let you get unpacked,” her dad says while she looks around, “Samantha will call when dinner's ready.”</p><p>Her dad leaves, closing the door behind him and Gigi lets out a sigh.</p><p>She unpacks her things in silence and alone. She unpacks her laptop and tablet last, putting them on the desk with a sense of relief. She decided against lugging her precious sewing machine all the way here so she can't make any clothes but at least she would still be able to design some outfits.</p><p>And as it looked right now, that's probably the only thing she'd be doing this summer.</p><p> </p><p>Gigi spends a good week holed up in her room designing or just messing around on her laptop only leaving for the meals Samantha dutifully prepares three times a day. It's lonely, but after the senior year she's had she prefers that and her cell phone stays buried at the bottom of her backpack. </p><p>The first Monday after her first week her dad knocks on her door and asks to come in, very unusual for him.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he asks after she invites him inside.</p><p>“Just sketching some outfit ideas,” Gigi says from her seat at the desk, reluctantly putting down her tablet.</p><p>“Still playing dress up in some way, huh? You've been like that since you were a little girl,” he says.</p><p>“<em>What would you know about me when I was a little girl?</em>” Gigi thinks, annoyed. Outwardly she just shrugs.</p><p>“So, I was thinking,” her dad continues, “It would be a waste to just sit around all summer. You should get something to do.”</p><p>“Well, I've never been to this town before so...” Gigi trails off. She can kind of agree that she should do something other than hole herself up in her room and now that she doesn't have to worry about running into anyone she doesn't want to see she doesn't have much excuse. Other than that she doesn't know the area.</p><p>“You know my side business is an ice cream shop, why don't I get you a job there. It's just down the road.”</p><p>Gigi knew it was only some sense of guilt that got her father to say yes to letting her stay with him for the summer in the first place, but really, is he already trying to get rid of her? It kind of hurts more than it should. </p><p>Still it's quite boring being trapped in a bedroom all day and who knows it could be fun.</p><p>“Does the shop need help?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“I'm sure the manager can find something for you to do,” her dad says.</p><p>Gigi sighs and shrugs. “Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>The next day Gigi's dad drives her a couple blocks to the more commercial side of the beach. Various shops line the boardwalk, and there is a white building with blue trim that reads Goode's Ice Cream Shoppe in curly blue font with a pink and white ice cream cone next to the name. </p><p>Her dad leads them inside and Gigi takes a look around the store. It's all very eighties with it's checkered tiling and neon signage. She can't fault her dad's taste in aesthetics.</p><p>There are two girls in the shop, one an energetic looking blonde with a high ponytail and a more serious looking girl with dark, wavy hair. Both look to be around her age.</p><p>“Good morning Mr. Goode,” the brunette says, smiling first at her dad and then at Gigi.</p><p>“Hi Jackie, this is my daughter Gigi who is going to be helping out this summer,” her dad puts his hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“Hi Gigi, I'm Jackie Cox,” Jackie holds her hand out over the counter and Gigi takes it.</p><p>“Hi,” Gigi says, smile strained.</p><p>“Alright,” her dads claps his hand on her shoulder, “Jackie is the manager so she'll help get you settled in. I need to get to the office now. Have a nice day ladies.”</p><p>Jackie and the other woman say goodbye while Gigi just crosses her arms. She tries not to look too obviously annoyed as her dad leaves, the jingle of the bell above the door signaling his exit.</p><p>She must not succeed because Jackie gives her a sympathetic smile.</p><p>“Why don't you come around and we'll get you set up,” she says, nodding her head to the end of the counter where the entrance to behind the counter is, “This is Jan by the way.”</p><p>Gigi goes behind the counter, undoing the latch that lets the small gate swing open and then closing it behind her.</p><p>“Hello!” Jan says, smiling brightly.</p><p>“Hi,” Gigi replies, going over to shake her hand, “Is it just you two?” </p><p>“We have one more girl who works here, Heidi, but she won't be in until later,” Jackie says.</p><p>“Just three? No wonder you need help,” Gigi says.</p><p>“It can get a little hectic with just three, but it's not bad,” Jackie says diplomatically.</p><p>It occurs to Gigi the girls might think she's trying to sabotage them so she can snitch to her dad, but really she just wants to vent to someone in some way.</p><p>“I'll go grab you an apron and we can show you the ropes,” Jackie says, disappearing into a back room.</p><p>Jan smiles at her. “It's just a couple of us here and we all get along so I think it's pretty fun, despite the business,” she offers, “I think you'll have a lot of fun here.”</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi says, giving Jan a probably unconvincing smile. </p><p>Jackie comes out from the back and hands her an apron. “Here you go,” she says, “Hopefully we have just enough time left in the morning to teach you everything before the lunch rush.”</p><p>“When is the lunch rush?” Gigi asked, putting on the apron.</p><p>Jackie looks at the clock on the wall behind the counter. “Hm, two hours about.”</p><p>Gigi can feel a sweat breaking out on her forehead despite the coolness of the shop. “Great.”</p><p> </p><p>It's an hour until the so-called lunch rush and Gigi is still trying to get the hang of scooping ice cream out of the big tubs. It's more difficult than it looks. </p><p>“You just need some wrist and arm strength,” Heidi encourages, “You'll get it with practice.”</p><p>The third part of the team, Heidi, had shown up just a couple minutes ago and already decided she would coach Gigi, insisting to Jackie that she take over. Gigi finds she's a cheerful girl with a comforting accent and the tendency to whistle through the gap in her teeth.</p><p>“I have plenty of wrist strength, trust me,” Gigi says and Heidi snorts.</p><p>“Heidi,” Jackie says chidingly from the other end of the counter. Jan tilts her head, confused.</p><p>“Oh my god, not like that,” Gigi says, abandoning the scoop half way in the tub of mint chocolate chip to fold her arms, “I'm not doing that in my dad's house. I've been drawing a lot.”</p><p>Heidi is still giggling to herself amused so Jackie takes over helping Gigi get the scoop through the tub and putting the ice cream into a small cup, perfectly placed. </p><p>“I don't get it,” Jan finally says, hands on her hips.</p><p>Heidi stops laughing to give Jan a look. “Masturbation, girl.”</p><p>“Oh,” Jan blushes, “I have a fiancé so I don't know about that sort of thing.”</p><p>Heidi gives Gigi a look and shakes her head even though Gigi doesn't really know what it means.</p><p>“Heidi, stop,” Jackie says quietly, also blushing and Heidi finally shrugs, “You draw Gigi? Are you an artist?”</p><p>“Yeah? But not how you probably think. I design and make clothes,” Gigi says, taking the cup of practice ice cream from Jackie and grabbing a plastic spoon for herself.</p><p>“Wow, that's so cool!” Jan says, suddenly more animated, “Are you going to be a fashion designer?”</p><p>“I hope so,” Gigi says, leaning against the counter.</p><p>“Are you going to the university in the fall?” Jackie asks and Gigi nods, “We all go there too.”</p><p>“Yeah, Jackie going to be a senior, Heidi's a junior and I'm a sophomore,” Jan says, “And you're going to be a freshman. That makes us a perfect team.”</p><p>“I don't think that predicates that we will be a perfect team,” Jackie says, but she's smiling and looking at Jan fondly, “But maybe it's a good sign.”</p><p>“Team Ice Cream,” Heidi says, putting out a hand palm-down.</p><p>Jan slaps her hand on top of Heidi's and Jackie does too with a laugh.</p><p>The girls look at her and Gigi reluctantly adds her hand.</p><p>“Go!” Heidi says and they all push their hands down.</p><p>The girls all laugh and Gigi can't help but smile a little too.</p><p> </p><p>Gigi is at the store until closing at ten. Not because she wants to, she would have stopped after the lunch rush, appropriately named because it was definitely a rush, but because she doesn't know how to get home and her dad didn't say anything about picking her up. So she ends up suffering through the lunch and evening rush. Heidi has left for the day and Jackie and Jan are murmuring about what to do with her in the back. </p><p>“We should just drive her home,” Jackie is saying.</p><p>“I know, but I can't believe Mr. Goode didn't pick her up or call or anything. What if he gets here and we're gone,” Jan says.</p><p>“He's got a cell phone, she can call when she gets home if he's not there,” Jackie says diplomatically.</p><p>“Okay,” Jan agrees, still sounding unsure.</p><p>They come out of the back room and Gigi continues to trace patterns on the counter with her fingertip, pretending she wasn't listening. </p><p>“I'll drive you home Gigi, you ready to go?” Jackie asks, shouldering a purse Gigi assumes she stored in the back.</p><p>“Yeah,” Gigi says and follows Jackie and Jan out the back door to an older, reddish-brown car, the only vehicle left in the parking lot.</p><p>Gigi goes into the back while Jackie takes the driver's seat and Jan gets shotgun. Jackie starts the car and The Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World starts playing which eases Gigi a bit, hearing a song she loves.</p><p>“Um, I know what street Mr. Goode lives on, but I'm not sure which house,” Jackie admits, backing out of the parking space.</p><p>“I know which house it is,” Gigi assures her, “I'll tell you when we get there.”</p><p>“How was your first day?” Jan asks, turning to look at her.</p><p>“It was interesting,” Gigi says, shrugging.</p><p>Jan laughs. “You handled it well, though. First time in customer service?”</p><p>“First job ever really,” Gigi tells her.</p><p>Jan's eyes widen slightly and she glances at Jackie. “Well, you did really good,” she says. She smiles but it doesn't reaches her eyes. </p><p>“Thanks,” Gigi says and looks out the window to avoid Jan's pitying gaze.</p><p>“We're at the street,” Jackie announces.</p><p>Gigi peers out the window to look for the only house familiar to her on the street. “Fourth on the left,” she says.</p><p>Jackie turns into the driveway where her dad's car is very conspicuously parked. Gigi hopes neither of the girls say anything.</p><p>“Thanks,” Gigi says shortly, unbuckling her seat belt and opening the door. </p><p>“Hey, Gigi,” Jackie stops her before she can get out, “Jan and I have an extra room in our house, if you ever want to stay at our place just let us know.”</p><p>“You can totally crash whenever,” Jan adds.</p><p>Gigi gives them both a small smile. “Thanks, I'll keep it in mind.”</p><p>She bids the girls goodbye and enters the house, it's dark except for the living room where her dad and step-mom are watching television.</p><p>“Did you help close the store?” her dad asks when he sees her peeking in.</p><p>“Yeah,” Gigi lies.</p><p>“There's leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry,” Samantha offers, “I didn't know when you'd be home so I saved you a plate.”</p><p>Her step-mom looks guilty and Gigi can imagine her asking her dad about when she would be home and him not knowing and not caring that he doesn't know, but unlike her mom Samantha just accepts that he doesn't care. </p><p>“Thanks, but I'm not hungry,” Gigi says, “Good night.”</p><p>“'Night,” her dad calls after her.</p><p>“Good night,” Samantha says more quietly.</p><p>Gigi goes upstairs, looking forward to hiding in her room and thinking about Jackie and Jan's offer.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Won't Make You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thanks as always for the comments and kudos. I really appreciate them and I reread the comments throughout the workweek to give myself serotonin.<br/>2. I didn't finish chapter 4 like I wanted this week, but hopefully I'll finish it soon so I have a good buffer for myself. I really hope to update every Saturday.<br/>3. Chapter title from I Won't Make You by Something Corporate</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi doesn't go home with Jackie and Jan the next day, but the day after she packs her bag with a couple changes of clothes and essentials telling her dad she would be staying with Jackie tonight. Of course her father doesn't care.</p><p>Gigi is a little nervous about asking to stay despite the offer, but thankfully as soon as she walks in and Jan sees her backpack she's jumping up and down in excitement.</p><p>“Are you staying with us?” she asks, eyes bright.</p><p>“If it's still okay,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Of course,” Jackie says. She takes Gigi's backpack from her and puts it in the back office, coming back with Gigi's apron. </p><p>Gigi is a bit more confident on her third day than her last two, taking orders and working the register with ease and scooping ice cream into bowls and cones with only slight difficulty. She makes it through the lunch rush and is looking forward to only dealing with a couple customers at a time until evening.</p><p>Just as she's thinking this though her relaxation is interrupted by the chime of the bell and Jan shrieking in delight.</p><p>“Where have you bitches been?” Jan yells.</p><p>“Jan, please don't yell the word bitches in the store, even if no one else is here,” Jackie says as Heidi starts laughing.</p><p>Gigi finally glances away from where she's wiping down the counter to look at who just came in. It's two girls, one with a lot of tattoos covering her upper body and a colorful head wrap, but Gigi is paying more attention to the other girl. She's wearing a baggy t-shirt under denim overall shorts with platform sneakers, her wrists and fingers covered in accessories. Gigi's first thought is something snide about how it isn't the nineties anymore, but when she sees the girl's face with her big, dark, curly hair, the tips dyed green, and her colorful makeup she can't help but find her kind of cute.</p><p>They lock eyes and the other girl quickly looks away, putting a hand to her cheek as if embarrassed.</p><p>“Gigi, come meet Widow and Crystal,” Jan says, suddenly next to her and dragging her to the other end of the counter, closer to where the girls are.</p><p>“Girls, this is Gigi Goode, she's helping us this summer and will be a freshman at uni this year,” Jan says, “Gigi this is Widow and Crystal.”</p><p>“Hi,” Gigi says, smiling at both of them, but her eyes linger a second longer on the one Jan pointed out as Crystal.</p><p>“Goode? Like the sign?” Widow asks, pointing to the sign reading Goode's Ice Cream Shoppe on the wall behind the counter.</p><p>“Yeah, she's Mr. Goode's daughter,” Jan explains.</p><p>“I didn't know he had a daughter,” Widow says.</p><p>“I've lived with my mom most of my life,” Gigi explains, “I just moved here for university.”</p><p>“We go there too” Widow says, “I'm a senior, Crystal is a sophomore.”</p><p>Crystal waves at her shyly.</p><p>“What can I get you girls today?” Jackie asks, getting out two cups.</p><p>“I'm going with mango today,” Widow says.</p><p>“The usual for me,” Crystal says.</p><p>“Mint chocolate chip is Gigi's favorite too,” Jan says as she rings the girls up.</p><p>“Oh, really?” Crystal looks at Gigi and then looks away, blushing.</p><p>Jackie hands them their cups and they both go to sit at one of the tables. Heidi goes over to sit with them and chat a minute as does Jan but not before she elbows Gigi and gives her a look.</p><p>Gigi doesn't know what Jan's getting at, but she's already out from behind the counter and sitting down with the other girls. She looks over at Jackie who stays behind the counter, always focused on work when she's here which Gigi can already tell about her. That's probably why she's the manager.</p><p>Jackie smiles softly at her and pats her shoulder which doesn't help any.</p><p>Gigi looks back over at the table when Jan starts giggling like a maniac. Jan keeps glancing between her and Crystal, who is red as a firetruck and slapping Jan's arm ineffectually.</p><p>Gigi ignores their shenanigans, not entirely sure what they mean, until Widow and Crystal finish eating and Heidi and Jan come back behind the counter.</p><p>“See you guys soon,” Widow says as they leave.</p><p>All the girls say goodbye to each other except Gigi who sticks to the corner, feeling out of place. But that doesn't stop her from catching Crystal's eyes one last time before she leaves.</p><p> </p><p>After work Gigi gets into Jackie's car like she has the past couple of days, but this time she's not going back to her dad's house, but to Jackie and Jan's for the first time.</p><p>“So,” Jan turns around the look at Gigi as soon as Jackie starts driving, “Crystal, huh?”</p><p>“What about her?” Gigi asks, not surprised Jan brought this up but not sure where it is going.</p><p>“What do you think about her?” Jan asks.</p><p>“Jan...” Jackie warns, glancing over at her.</p><p>“What? It's just a question,” Jan defends.</p><p>“I barely even met her so I don't really think anything about her,” Gigi says. Not wanting to admit to either of them that she thought Crystal was cute just yet.</p><p>“She totally thinks you're, like, really pretty,” Jan says.</p><p>“Janet!” Jackie says, smacking Jan's arm lightly.</p><p>“Jacqueline!” Jan retaliates, sticking her tongue out at her, “What do you think Gigi? Do you think she's cute? Do you like her?”</p><p>Gigi is staring wide-eyed at Jan as she is bombarded with questions. Jan looks at her expectantly while Jackie shakes her head.</p><p>Gigi starts stuttering something, but can't get out more than an “um”. She probably should have realized this was what the Crystal stuff was about, but she can't believe she's already met someone who likes girls too and none of them seem to care. Is this what college is like? Is this adulthood?”</p><p>“Do you like girls? Are you a lesbian?” Jan continues, like she just thought of that little detail.</p><p>Gigi's never said it out loud before, but...</p><p>“I-I am,” she tells Jan, glancing between her and Jackie who is focused on the road.</p><p>“That's so great!” Jan says, surprising Gigi, “I'm straight, but I love lesbians. Obviously since my best friend is Jackie. Jackie's a lesbian and so is Crystal. You should go on a date if she asks you. Or maybe you ask her?”</p><p>“Jan, just because they're both gay doesn't mean they're going to want to date remember,” Jackie sighs for probably the millionth time, “I'm sorry Gigi. She tried to get Crystal and I to date too.”</p><p>“I was just trying to find you another roommate before I get married,” Jan says.</p><p>Jackie doesn't respond as she pulls into what Gigi assumes is their driveway. Jan doesn't seem to mind the silence and opens the car door to jump out, telling Gigi to hurry.</p><p>Gigi glances at Jackie who looks a bit despondent before getting out of the car as well.</p><p>“Welcome to our home!” Jan says, gesturing grandly to a large, but older looking house. The neighborhood definitely isn't bad, but Gigi can tell they're in an older part of town unlike the new fancy suburb her dad's house is in.</p><p>“You guys can afford this?” Gigi has to ask.</p><p>Jan is already running up the front steps to the house so she turns to look at Jackie as she gets out of the car.</p><p>“Jan's parents helped a bit and it was a foreclosure,” Jackie explains, closing the car door and locking it.</p><p>Jackie walks towards the house and Gigi follows her, hefting her backpack over her shoulders.</p><p>Jan has left the door wide open so Jackie stops at the door and lets Gigi in first so she can close the door behind them.</p><p>Jan pops out from a room off to the side and grabs Gigi's hand. “Let me give you the tour,” she says.</p><p>Jan drags Gigi through the entryway into the living room. It's a big room, but sparsely furnished with only a couch, armchair, a television stand and a sturdy looking CRT TV. Still the fireplace and large amount of framed photos covering every solid surface make it cozy somehow. Jan takes her into the kitchen, kept less neat than the living room with dishes still in the sink and a couple drawers and cupboards open. </p><p>"It's not super interesting here to be honest," Jan admits, leading Gigi back to the entryway so they can go upstairs, "We don't have much money to splurge on interior decorating."</p><p>They reach the second floor, which is essentially a hallway full of doors.</p><p>“This is our extra room so this is where you will be,” Jan says, opening the first door. This room only has a bed and dresser for furniture, nowhere near as nice as the room at her dad's house, but she likes it more already. </p><p>Gigi drops off her backpack and then Jan shows her the bathroom and also insists on showing her Jackie's room. Jackie's room is extremely neat and plain except for a couple stacks of books around her desk on which sits an ancient looking laptop. </p><p>“My room is more fun,” Jan says, closing Jackie's door and moving to the next one. </p><p>Jan's room is more what Gigi expects of a college student except with a purple filter over it. The bed sheets are purple, a purple bean bag, her desk, chair and dresser are white, but all the accessories on the desk and dresser are purple except for her iBook. Even the walls have been painted a soothing lilac. </p><p>“Here's my fiancé, Kyle,” Jan says, pointing to a picture on the wall of Jan and a handsome blonde man.</p><p>“Uh-huh,” Gigi says, looking with more interest at the other pictures on the wall, Jan in a cheerleading uniform, Jan in a soccer uniform, Jan and Jackie in fancy dresses probably for a musical of some sort.</p><p>Jan runs her fingers over the frame wistfully. “He's a minor league baseball player so he's off at training right now,” she says sadly, “He won't be back until the fall.”</p><p>Gigi just hums, hoping Jan will get the hint that she doesn't want to talk about Jan's fiancé.</p><p>“Where did Jackie go?” Jan asks, suddenly like she just noticed the other woman wasn't on the tour with them.</p><p>Jan leaves her room and starts back down the stairs yelling Jackie's name with Gigi following reluctantly behind.</p><p>“What?” Jackie asks, sticking her head out from the kitchen.</p><p>“You missed the tour,” Jan says with a pout.</p><p>“I know my own house,” Jackie says, “Besides I'm making dinner.”</p><p>Jackie disappears back into the kitchen and Jan follows her. Gigi stays in the living room to get a look as some of the many pictures littering the room. There's one of a little blonde and little brunette girl, no more than seven years old. One of those same little girls a bit older, middle school maybe. Those same girls that Gigi can now recognize for sure as Jackie in a cap and gown and Jan in a purple dress, a high school graduation Gigi is guessing. Next to that one is a picture of just Jan in a cap and gown with an older man and woman smiling just as brightly as she is. </p><p>“Gigi where'd you go?” Jan sticks comes out of the kitchen and spots her, “There you are, come on. Jackie made dinner. You hungry?”</p><p>Gigi looks back at Jan who is looking at her expectantly. She smiles slightly. “Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>Gigi wakes the next morning to muffled singing that gets louder once the door to the room opens.</p><p>“Time to get up Gigi, work awaits,” Jackie says. </p><p>So now Gigi knows the singing is Jan. She's actually a pretty good singer, but Gigi doesn't exactly want to hear someone belting out Rihanna first thing in the morning.</p><p>“I'll get up,” Gigi groans, hoping it will get Jackie to close the door.</p><p>“Okay, but if you take too long Jan is going to come in next,” Jackie says, the smile clear in her voice.</p><p>Jackie closes the door and Gigi grins despite herself. </p><p>These girls she's known for days have been more welcoming than her dad ever was. Maybe she has something to thank him for after all.</p><p> </p><p>Despite being forced up earlier than usual, Gigi is in good spirits at the shop. She's been getting more comfortable with the work, so much so that she insists all three other girls don't need to be on standby constantly and they can leave the shop for lunch. Jackie finally agrees and she and Heidi leave just after the lunch rush to get some food for all of them leaving Jan and Gigi to hold down the fort. </p><p>Gigi regrets this, or at least that they left her with Jan, about five minutes later when Crystal comes into the store alone.</p><p>Crystal looks completely different today, wearing a My Chemical Romance shirt with shorts, ripped stockings and combat boots, but still covered in accessories around her neck, wrists and fingers. Gigi doesn't care if it sounds shallow because she's a shallow person, but this Crystal is even more attractive than the one from yesterday and it makes butterflies start fluttering around her stomach. </p><p>“Hi!” Crystal says, cheerfully looking between Jan and Gigi.</p><p>Gigi glances over at Jan, already dreading the look she can imagine on Jan's face. Of course Jan looks infinitely pleased and Gigi can almost hear the gears in Jan's head turning for what nefarious purpose Gigi doesn't know.</p><p>“I have to go get, uh, the thing! From the back!” Jan says and disappears into the employee area with the door swinging wildly behind her.</p><p>Gigi glares at the door briefly and then turns back to Crystal to give her a customer service smile.</p><p>“Can I help you?” she asks.</p><p>Crystal, who was looking at the door Jan just ran through, looks back at Gigi. “Uh, yeah,” she says, coming up to the register and smiling, “Mint chocolate chip?”</p><p>Crystal hands her some money with exact change which Gigi is grateful for. She opens the cooler and prays her arms don't fail her now while Jan isn't here and she's in front of a pretty girl.</p><p>She manages to scoop out enough ice cream to fill a small cup with little effort and she hands it over to Crystal.</p><p>“Thanks,” Crystal says, their fingers brushing as she takes the cup, “You like this kind too right?”</p><p>Gigi nods.</p><p>“If you want to sneak some for yourself I won't tell,” Crystal says, smiling shyly, “Jan did run off after all.”</p><p>Gigi actually chuckles a little. “No thanks, Jackie and Heidi are coming back with lunch soon.”</p><p>“Oh, okay,” Crystal says. She shifts on her feet and continues to loiter at the counter.</p><p>“Do you need anything else?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“Oh, uh, no,” Crystal says reluctantly.</p><p>Suddenly Jan bursts out again from the back getting Gigi and Crystal's attention. “That's taken care of so, how's it going Crys?”</p><p>“Um, good,” Crystal shrugs, glancing at Gigi one more time before giving Jan her attention, “I'm still a bit stuck on a subject for my summer art project.”</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Jan nods, “You know Gigi, Crystal here is an art student. That's kind of like you, right?”</p><p>Gigi tries not to roll her eyes now that she knows exactly what Jan is doing. “I guess,” she says instead with a shrug.</p><p>“What do you do?” Crystal asks, looking at her with rapt interest.</p><p>“Design and make clothes,” Gigi says.</p><p>Crystal's eyes light up. “Wow, that's so cool!” she gushes, “That must take a tremendous amount of talent.”</p><p>Gigi shrugs. “I don't know. I grew up doing it because my mom is a costume designer.”</p><p>“Oh,” Crystal says, looking down at her ice cream.</p><p>Awkward silence blankets them despite Jan's best efforts.</p><p>Crystal looks back up. “Well, I have to get going,” she says looking at Jan and then Gigi, “I'll talk to you later?” Her eyes stay on Gigi's.</p><p>“Of course!” Jan says, happy as ever.</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi responds more quietly.</p><p>Crystal smiles. “Okay, bye!” </p><p>She waves as she exits the building and as soon as she's gone Jan is poking her and squealing.</p><p>“Oh my god, you two are so cute. You should totally go on a date,” she says.</p><p>Gigi rubs her arm where Jan poked her. “I-”</p><p>“We're back!” Gigi is blessedly interrupted by Jackie and Heidi entering the store with paper bags from a nearby restaurant. </p><p>Jan immediately goes to grab one of the bags from Jackie, excited for lunch, and Gigi is off the hook. At least for now.</p><p> </p><p>It isn't until that night when the girls were all sitting on the couch, eating stir-fry in their pajamas and watching the kind of mind-numbing reality TV that Gigi secretly loves, that Jan brings up the Crystal subject again. Gigi should have known she wouldn't get out of it that easily.</p><p>“But seriously Gigi, Crystal,” Jan says, giving her a look.</p><p>“What about her,” Gigi plays dumb.</p><p>“Come on,” Jan whines, leaning against her.</p><p>“I don't think Gigi wants to talk about this Jan,” Jackie says, diplomatic as always.</p><p>“But if they go out I'll finally have a couple to go on double dates with,” Jan bemoans, “I've been waiting since high school. Kyle and I are high school sweethearts, I don't know if I mentioned that Gigi.”</p><p>Jan continues on, but Gigi kind of zones out. She notes that Jackie has stopped eating, her plate only half finished.</p><p>“Are you guys done? I'll wash the dishes tonight,” Jan offers after she's gone on about her fiancé for ten minutes.</p><p>“Yeah,” Gigi says, handing Jan her plate.</p><p>“Thanks,” Jackie says, doing the same.</p><p>Jackie turns to Gigi once Jan is gone.</p><p>“I'll talk to her later,” she assures, patting her shoulder, “You can tell her you're just not interested though.”</p><p>Gigi feels safe with Jackie, she has a mothering nature about her. “It's not really that I'm not interested,” she admits, “Crystal is cute, it's just...I don't see the point in it all I guess.”</p><p>Jackie shrugs. “There doesn't have to be a point.”</p><p>“A little too much risk verses reward for something that doesn't have a point,” Gigi reasons.</p><p>“Very jaded for an eighteen year old,” Jackie says.</p><p>“Nineteen,” Gigi corrects, “I'm sure someone in your situation can understand how I feel.”</p><p>“And what's my situation?” Jackie asks, turning to her and resting her chin on her palm.</p><p>“You're in love with your best friend since childhood and she has a fiancé,” Gigi says.</p><p>She pauses, hoping she hasn't crossed the line too much, but Jackie remains unmoved.</p><p>"Literally everyone but Jan has figured that one out," Jackie says, nodding for Gigi to continue.</p><p>Gigi sighs. “My point is, would you really choose that if you had a choice?”</p><p>Jackie tilts her head. “I've never thought about it. It is what it is, I don't see the point in thinking in impossibilities. Besides if my choice was between where I am now and never meeting Jan I would definitely choose meeting her.”</p><p>Gigi doesn't really know what to say to that, not one for such sentimentality. </p><p>"I guess we're different then," she says, mostly to herself.</p><p>Jackie runs her fingers through Gigi's hair just like her mom does. It's comforting, but the sadness squeezing at her heart is more pronounced.</p><p>"I think you'll be surprised at how many things are worth it if you give it a chance," Jackie says, quietly.</p><p>Gigi pulls away, not quick enough so she seems angry, but definitely enough so Jackie knows it's on purpose.</p><p>“I think I'll go to bed,” Gigi decides before Jan can come back and bring up Crystal again.</p><p>“Okay,” Jackie rubs her back, “I'll talk to Jan.”</p><p>“Thanks, night,” Gigi says.</p><p>She goes upstairs, closing her bedroom door quietly behind her, and wiggles under the covers. She tries hard not to think about Crystal until she finally falls asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you, thank you for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. I will need them in the coming days as I make myself sick with anxiety over the election.<br/>2. This chapter is shorter than the previous ones, but the chapter after this will be longer than the previous ones. I wish I could have made it more even but that's the split that made the most sense to me.<br/>3. Chapter title from Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) by Fall Out Boy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It seems Gigi is not going to be free of Crystal this summer at all as she's back at the shop the next day, this time with Widow again. It's no wonder Jan was yelling about where they'd been the first day Gigi met them. Crystal looks even more different this day than she did the past two, mostly because her curly hair is now dyed blue. The off-the-shoulder dress, blue with pink flowers and green leaves, the possibly too many accessories, and pink sandals are about what Gigi expects at this point. </p><p>They both get their ice cream, Crystal gets mint chocolate chip like usual, and Widow sits down, but Crystal hovers at the counter where Gigi is standing.</p><p>“Hey, could I talk to you for a second?” she asks, her fingers fidgeting with her cup.</p><p>“Um,” Gigi looks behind her at Jackie who gives her a short nod of permission while Jan nods wildly next to her, “Sure.”</p><p>Gigi comes out from behind the counter and they sit at the corner table. She sees Jan and Heidi going to the table that Widow is already at, clearly preparing to eavesdrop. Gigi doesn't care much, if Crystal doesn't care about getting rejected in front of their friends neither does she.</p><p>“So, um, this might sound crazy,” Crystal starts, Gigi watches her spin her ice cream cup with her fingers, her nails are a pretty purple color, “I mean we haven't really talked, but, um, I was wondering if you would mind being the subject of my summer art project?”</p><p>Gigi is staring at Crystal, but she can hear a sharp bark of laughter from Heidi and Jan sputtering. Crystal doesn't react to their ruckus and looks expectantly at Gigi.</p><p>“Uh, what?” Gigi asks, not sure what Crystal means. Especially because she was kind of expecting Crystal to ask her out.</p><p>“I have to do an art project over the summer for school and I was having a real hard time deciding what to do, but then I saw you and you're, like, the prettiest girl I've ever seen and it made me really, like, inspired. So I was wondering if you would give me permission to draw you for my art project? And we could meet up somewhere and I could do some sketches?”</p><p>“Um, no,” Gigi says reflexively.</p><p>Crystal seems to deflate a bit and Gigi quickly adds in a “sorry”.</p><p>“No, it's okay,” Crystal says, “It's a really weird request, I know. I understand if that wouldn't be comfortable for you.”</p><p>Gigi glances back at the other girls where Jan is looking devastated and Heidi is patting her consolingly. Gigi looks back at Crystal when she stands and Gigi figures the conversation is over so she follows suit. </p><p>Crystal reaches down to get her ice cream cup and as Gigi's eyes follow her hand she notices a tear in Crystal's dress.</p><p>“Your dress has a hole,” she says, pointing near the bottom of Crystal's dress. </p><p>Crystal quickly looks down and sees the tear for herself, putting the ice cream cup down she pulls the dress up a little to get a better look.</p><p>“Oh no,” she cries, seeing the inch long rip, “This is my favorite dress too. I got it from my mom.”</p><p>Seeing the look of sadness in Crystal's eyes as she looks at her dress and hearing that it's from her mom has Gigi making an offer before she can even think about it.</p><p>“I can fix it for you if you want,” she offers.</p><p>Crystal looks at her in surprise. “You can?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Gigi comes around to stand by Crystal, taking the fabric of Crystal's dress out from her hands to examine it herself, “I think I have some thread that's pretty similar in color to this at home.”</p><p>She lets Crystal's dress go to fall back down around her knees and looks at Crystal who is looking back with shining eyes.</p><p>“Thank you so much!” she gushes, “My apartment is a block away so I'll go get changed and bring the dress back.”</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi says.</p><p>Crystal gives her a smile and goes to the table the girls are at.</p><p>“Crystal, what the hell?” Gigi hears Jan accost Crystal with once she gets there.</p><p>“What?” Crystal whines, “I have to go back to my apartment real quick. Are you done Widow?”</p><p>Gigi goes back behind the counter, Jackie giving her a small smile.</p><p>Crystal and Widow leave, Jan following after them, presumably to get a word in with Crystal, and Heidi comes back behind the counter as well.</p><p>“Oh my lord, Crystal is hilarious,” Heidi says, shaking her head, “Jan really thought she was going to ask you out.”</p><p>“Yeah, I realize that,” Gigi says.</p><p>“I did talk to her Gigi,” Jackie says, “Unfortunately I can't give Crystal the assurances I can give you.”</p><p>Jan reenters with a huff. </p><p>“Let's get back to work, Jan,” Jackie tells her.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Jan says, glancing at Gigi but not saying anything mercifully.</p><p>Crystal returns a half hour later, alone and holding a paper bag with her dress folded delicately inside.</p><p>“Thank you so much Gigi,” Crystal says again as she hands her the bag.</p><p>“No problem, this is an easy fix,” Gigi says, taking the bag, “I just hope I have thread that's close enough in color. I didn't bring my machine or all my spools, just a small sewing kit. I'll have to done by tomorrow.”</p><p>“Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then I guess,” Crystal says, “Bye everyone!”</p><p>The other girls say goodbye and Gigi goes to put Crystal's bag in the back room.</p><p>“Crystal obviously has a crush on her, I don't know what she's thinking.”</p><p>Gigi is about to open the door but pauses when she hears Jan.</p><p>“You don't need to concern yourself with Crystal's feelings and motives,” she hears Jackie reply, “You just get yourself worked up.”</p><p>“This is Crystal though, she really could have just been inspired by Gigi and wants to use her likeness for her project,” Heidi says, “You know how she gets about her art.”</p><p>“But she's inspired because she thinks Gigi is pretty,” Jan whines.</p><p>“Well, Gigi is very pretty. You don't need to have a crush to see that,” Jackie says, “There's no use meddling. Just let whatever is going to happen, happen.”</p><p>Gigi finally opens the door to make sure they end their conversation there. The girls all stay conspicuously silent as Gigi walks back over to the register. </p><p>A family comes in and they all scramble back into their professional roles. </p><p>As Gigi rings them up she tells herself maybe Crystal doesn't have a crush on her. It's way less scary that way.</p><p> </p><p>Since her sewing kit is at her dad's house Gigi asks Jackie to drive her there after work instead of Jackie and Jan's house.</p><p>“Are you sure you don't want to just grab your kit and come stay with us tonight?” Jackie asks as she parks in the driveway.</p><p>“I'm sure,” Gigi says, “I've been away a couple of days, I can stand staying here for one night.”</p><p>“Okay, we'll see you tomorrow,” Jackie says, “I'll pick you up for work.”</p><p>Gigi says goodbye to the girls and gets out of the car.</p><p>As soon as she opens the front door she hears her dad talking loudly on the phone.</p><p>“I don't know when she'll be back,” her dad is saying.</p><p>Gigi peeks into the kitchen where she can hear her dad talking and sees him on the phone.</p><p>“She's a grown woman, I don't ask her about her every movement and she doesn't need to tell me,” her dad continues.</p><p>Gigi gets the sinking feeling this is about her so she enters the kitchen fully to make her presence known.</p><p>Her dad notices her and looks very pleased. “Actually she just walked right in. See? Nothing to worry about,” he says proudly.</p><p>He removes the phone from his ear without waiting for a response and hands it to Gigi.</p><p>“Your mother,” he says.</p><p>“Thanks,” Gigi says quietly and takes the phone. She winces to herself as she watches her dad leave the room and slowly puts the phone to her ear.</p><p>“Hi mom,” she says and her voice sounds as guilty as she feels.</p><p>“Gigi! Where have you been?” her mom says, “Your father says you haven't been there in days.”</p><p>“I've been staying with some friends,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Friends? Did you make friends already?” her mom asks, sounding less upset already.</p><p>“Yeah, with these girls that are going to the same university,” Gigi says, leaving out the part about how she met them at a job her dad kind of pushed her into, “They have an extra room at their house so I've been staying with them on and off.”</p><p>Her mom sighs. “Well, I can't blame you,” she says, “I tried calling your cell phone but it was off. Gigi can you please either make a plan for what days you will be at the house or turn your phone back on? I just worry, you know.”</p><p>“I know. I'll turn my cell on,” Gigi assures.</p><p>“Thank you,” her mother says, relieved.</p><p>“Mom? I'm really sorry you had to call here,” Gigi whispers.</p><p>“Oh, Gigi. It's fine, don't worry about it,” her mom says, “I'll call your cell tomorrow and we can talk about your new friends, how's that sound? Unless you don't want to talk to your dear old mom now that you're in college.”</p><p>“Never,” Gigi says with a small smile.</p><p>“Same here,” her mom says, “Love you, Sweetheart.”</p><p>“Love you too,” Gigi says.</p><p>They say goodbye and Gigi hangs the phone up. Her dad is nowhere to be found as she goes upstairs to her room, but that's for the best.</p><p>As soon as she enters her room she reluctantly retrieves her cell phone from the suitcase she stashed it in when she packed her backpack for Jackie and Jan's house. She flips it open and turns it on for the first time in months. She's greeted with several missed calls from her mom unsurprisingly. After a moment's hesitation she also checks her texts.</p><p>She had emptied the whole thing once the only texts she received were mean ones from ex-friends so she expects it to still be empty. </p><p>It's not and there's a brand new unread text from Jaida.</p><p>Gigi snaps her phone closed as soon as she sees the name. </p><p>She has no idea what the text could be about actually, but good or bad she's not prepared to be faced with anything from what might as well be her old life, especially Jaida. She leaves her phone next to her laptop, far from her bed so she won't be tempted to grab it, but she will hear it ring if her mom calls.</p><p>Ignoring her stupid phone, Gigi gets out her sewing kit from her suitcase and takes out Crystal's dress from the bag. The tear is only on the blue part of the dress thankfully so Gigi looks through what blue thread she has. </p><p>She does have one that's pretty close, but she knows she has an even closer one at home which is a bit disappointing. She has to work with what she has though so she stitches the hole closed with a perfectly straight line of tiny blue stitches. She holds the dress away from herself to inspect it and is pleased to find it's virtually invisible from a distance.</p><p>She folds the dress again and just then notices how good it smells. This must be what Crystal smells like. Without thinking she holds the garment close and inhales.</p><p>She comes back to her senses a second later and quickly shoves the dress back into the bag Crystal had it in.</p><p> </p><p>Gigi spends the next day at work fidgeting with everything while she waits for Crystal to arrive. Jan, who was apparently on the phone with her fiancé most of last night, doesn't notice Gigi's nerves as she's too busy floating around the place all lovesick. Jackie probably notices, but won't say anything. She sticks close to Gigi all day though. Gigi doesn't know if Jackie is just watching out for her or she doesn't want to be around Jan right now, probably a bit of both.</p><p>Crystal arrives by herself a little after the lunch rush like usual.</p><p>“One dress please,” Crystal says with a giggle.</p><p>“It's in the back,” Gigi tells her, “Why don't you come behind the counter and I'll give it to you?”</p><p>She glances at Jackie who gives her approval and Gigi leads Crystal into the back room away from the prying eyes of their friends.</p><p>“Here you go,” Gigi says, handing Crystal's bag back to her.</p><p>“Thanks so much,” Crystal says.</p><p>She takes the dress out to see Gigi's handiwork and looks around the dress, confused. “Um, where's..?”</p><p>Gigi takes the hem of the dress and shows Crystal the stitching before she can finish her sentence.</p><p>“Oh, wow!” Crystal looks at the spot where the tear used to be, “You can barely even see it.”</p><p>“It could be better. I have thread that's closer to that color at home,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Don't even worry about it. This is amazing,” Crystal looks back at her, “<em>You're</em> amazing.”</p><p>Crystal's eyes are practically shining, happy and sincere. </p><p>Gigi doesn't know what comes over her, but suddenly she's saying, “I'll be your subject for your art project.”</p><p>Her cheeks feel like they are on fire and she wants to take it back but Crystal is already talking.</p><p>“What? Really? Are you sure?” she asks, “I was just thinking about how I can repay you for this and now you want to help me with my project too? This is the best thing anyone's ever done for me. I can't thank you enough, really.”</p><p>Well, she really can't take it back now.</p><p>“I...when do you want to meet up?” Gigi asks, resigned to the fate she chose herself.</p><p>“Whenever you're free,” Crystal says, “What are your hours?”</p><p>“I'm on Jackie and Jan's schedule basically because Jackie drives me and I've been staying with them,” Gigi says, “I'll have to ask.”</p><p>Gigi leads them out of the back. </p><p>“Jackie, what are my hours?” Gigi asks Jackie.</p><p>“Honestly, whatever you want Gigi,” Jackie tells her, “I'll punch you in and out as needed. I've already been doing that for you and Jan when we come in and leave. As long as you can get a ride you can do whatever.”</p><p>“I have a car, so I can drive you here or to Jackie and Jan's,” Crystal offers.</p><p>That snaps Jan right out of her love-stricken stupor and suddenly she's right in Gigi and Crystal's faces, looking between them excitedly.</p><p>“What's going on?” she asks, eyes bright.</p><p>“Gigi said she'd let me use her for my art project,” Crystal says, then flinches, “Ah, that sounds kind of bad.”</p><p>“It's fine, I get it,” Gigi says and quickly turn to Jackie, “Thanks, Jackie.”</p><p>Desperate to avoid any more attention from the girls, she grabs Crystal's wrists and drags her outside the shop so she doesn't have to make plans with Jan hovering.</p><p>“Um,” Crystal looks between Gigi and the hand on her wrist, clearly confused.</p><p>“So, when do you want to get together?” Gigi asks, letting go of Crystal and crossing her arms.</p><p>“Oh, does Saturday work?” Crystal asks, “Is this a secret?”</p><p>“No, don't worry about it,” Gigi insists, running a hand through her hair, “Saturday is fine. I'll be here if you want to come at the time you usually do.”</p><p>“Sounds good,” Crystal sticks out her hand, “Look forward to working with you.”</p><p>Gigi looks from Crystal's hand to her face, an eyebrow raised. “Sure,” she says and grabs Crystal's hand, shaking it hesitantly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Takeoffs and Landings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Well that was a week! But hopefully better times are on the horizon!<br/>2. Ummm, I got kinda stuck for a while on this chapter (not to mention it's been a stressful couple of weeks...) so I just started chapter 5 today. I hope I can finish it by next week because I really want to release a chapter a week but if not I will release it the week after next and if I do I'm sorry...<br/>3. Oh yeah, thank you for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks as always!!<br/>4. Mentions of Persian food in this chapter, I just Googled it so if I fucked something up let me know and I'll try to fix it.<br/>5. Chapter title is from Takeoffs and Landings by The Ataris</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crystal shows up just after the lunch rush like they planned.</p><p>“I'm out,” Gigi tells the other girls, before disappearing to the back room.</p><p>“Take some ice cream with you,” Jackie suggests, getting out two cups.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Crystal asks.</p><p>“Sure, why not?” Jackie says, putting mint chocolate chip ice cream in both cups and handing one to Crystal.</p><p>She hands the other to Gigi when she comes back from hanging up her apron. </p><p>“See ya,” Gigi says, taking the cup.</p><p>“Don't keep her out too late, Crys,” Jan says suggestively.</p><p>Gigi rolls her eyes and quickly pushes Crystal outside.</p><p>“So, where are we doing this?” Gigi asks, before eating a spoonful of ice cream.</p><p>“Beach?” Crystal asks, nodding her head at the water about a hundred feet away, “It's close.”</p><p>“If that works for you,” Gigi says with a shrug.</p><p>Crystal leads them over to a retaining wall, a few feet away from the stairs that lead down to the sand. She takes off her backpack that jingles almost as much as she does with all her accessories and sets it next to herself along with her ice cream and Gigi looks at the various pins on it while Crystal takes out a sketchbook and pencils. The pins are basically all gay pride related or band pins. Gigi likes all the bands Crystal has on her backpack, except she's never heard of Tegan and Sara. She almost says something, but decides against it.</p><p>“So, you want me to pose or something?” she asks once Crystal has gotten her stuff out and moved her backpack to the side, out of the way.</p><p>“No, no,” Crystal says, flipping through her sketchbook for a blank page.</p><p>Gigi tries to get a look at some of Crystal's other drawings but is unsuccessful. </p><p>“You can just do whatever,” Crystal continues, “I'm going to draw you, but it's more important that I understand your, like, essence, you know?”</p><p>“Not really,” Gigi says while she finishes off her ice cream.</p><p>“Just, don't worry about me basically,” Crystal says, her pencil already going full speed.</p><p>Gigi crosses her legs and leans back on her hands, already bored.</p><p>She spots Crystal's melting ice cream and points. “Can I have your ice cream?” she asks.</p><p>Crystal glances at it. “Yeah, you can have all the ice cream you want for doing this, on me,” she says with a giggle.</p><p>“I'll just take this,” Gigi says, taking the cup, “I work in an ice cream parlor after all. There are probably a hundred other things I'd want more.”</p><p>Crystal glances at her. “Like what?” she asks.</p><p>It's innocent, but something about the question has certain images flashing through Gigi's mind, unbidden.</p><p>“You don't have to get me anything, really,” Gigi says to deflect her thoughts.</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Crystal says, eyes still on her sketchbook, “You've already done two huge favors for me. I got to do something for you. I...” Crystal pauses and looks up at Gigi for just a second. “I thought you'd never talk to me again when you said no at first,” she admits, “Which sucked 'cause I didn't even get a chance to talk to you at all. I'm so dumb.”</p><p>The Gigi that has spent the past year being told what a dumb, fake bitch she is wants to tell Crystal she's not missing anything, but mostly she doesn't want to start a conversation about that.</p><p>So she reveals something else that's a little too personal for her own tastes.</p><p>“I'm really close with my mom so when you said your mom bought you that dress and you looked so sad when you saw it had ripped I really felt that so that's why I offered to fix it,” she says, “You don't have to pay me back for it.”</p><p>Crystal looks at Gigi again, her eyes a little sad but she smiles. “I'm actually not really close to my mom right now,” she says, her pencil stopping, “I'm not close to either of my parents. But that dress was the last thing I got from my mom when things were still good so it's special to me.”</p><p>“I'm glad I was able to fix it then,” Gigi says. She really can't imagine what she would do without her mom. She already doesn't have a relationship with her dad, she can't imagine not having one with either parent.</p><p>Crystal hums and goes back to drawing with vigor. “Has anyone ever told you your hair looks like the sunset?” she asks suddenly, glancing up at Gigi.</p><p>“It's not natural,” she says, probably pointlessly.</p><p>“Really?” Crystal looks at her, faux-shocked, “My hair is.” </p><p>She flips her blue hair and Gigi can't help but giggle. </p><p>“So you dye it brown then?” she asks, “That's what color it was the first few times I saw you.”</p><p>“Obviously, blue is boring and I'm an artist,” she says, “I'm well on my way to living in a studio apartment my whole life and surviving off commissions.” </p><p>“Why do it then?” Gigi has to ask.</p><p>Crystal glances at her. “Come on, you're the same right? Being passionate about your art? You don't think you're just gonna be a world famous fashion designer as soon as you graduate do you? Or, you said your mom was a designer right? So maybe you will.” She shrugs.</p><p>“My mom is a costume designer and maker, but I want to be a fashion designer,” Gigi explains, “I guess I know what you mean though. I can always fall back on costume making probably, but fashion is what I really love.” </p><p>“It's the same as art really. You want to be able to create whatever you want and have people love it and want to buy it, but sometimes you just got to stick with bringing to life other people's ideas.”</p><p>“Yeah, and my mom has made a decent living doing that. We even lived in LA a couple years while she worked on this TV show, but nothing beats your own creation,” Gigi says with a nod, “My mom collects a lot of magazines and stuff so she has a ton of fashion magazines from the eighties. I used to go through them constantly when I was little. That's what got me into fashion.” Gigi realizes now that's she's practically out of breath that she hasn't talked this much in over a year. </p><p>Crystal nods along. “You know, we should collab sometime,” she says, flipping through her sketchbook, “I have this, like, mascot? It's just this little character I like to draw and I think it would be cool if I could turn it into an outfit.”</p><p>Crystal finds the page she's looking for and turns it over to Gigi. There's a drawing of a purple, cow-like monster thing. </p><p>“It looks more like something that could be a stuffed animal,” Gigi notes.</p><p>Crystal's eyes are sparkling now. “Can you make those too?” she asks.</p><p>“I've never tried actually. I would need my sewing machine though.”</p><p>“Ah, well. Maybe one day?” Crystal looks at her so eagerly that Gigi just nods.</p><p>Crystal turns back to the page she was working on. “You wanna see?” she asks, holding the sketchbook to her chest.</p><p>“Sure, if you don't mind,” Gigi says, leaning forward imperceptibly.</p><p>Crystal turns the sketchbook towards Gigi and Gigi can see why Crystal didn't ask for her to pose. Crystal didn't really draw her as much as she drew parts of her, like a hand or her eye, how her knee bent and her hair laid over her shoulder. </p><p>Gigi looks at the drawings and tries to think of it as just art and not the attention of a pretty girl that might be into her, but it's hard and she can't help but blush a little. </p><p>“You're good,” is all Gigi can think to say.</p><p>“Thanks!” Crystal closes her sketchbook, “I think that's good for today. I'll drive you home?”</p><p>“The parlor is probably still open,” Gigi notes, thinking if she should just say she'd walk back and save Crystal the trouble.</p><p>“Yeah, but then you'd have to work some more,” Crystal points out with a smirk.</p><p>“And it's probably still the evening rush,” Gigi guesses, judging by how the sun is starting to set, “Alright, take me home.”</p><p>“I got your back, girl,” Crystal says. She puts her sketchbook and pencils away, throws her backpack over a shoulder and stands, holding a hand out to Gigi.</p><p>Gigi stares at the offered hand and slowly takes it, letting Crystal pull her up.</p><p>Crystal takes them back to the parking lot behind the shops lining the boardwalk to a beat-up, old, white car, even more worn than Jackie's. Gigi gets into the front seat as delicately as possible, fearing the car will collapse under her if she sat down too heavily. Crystal has no such qualms and throws her backpack into the back seat before hopping into the driver's seat. Crystal turns on the car and Fall Out Boy starts blasting out of the speakers, making Gigi jump.</p><p>“Sorry,” Crystal says with a flinch and quickly turns the knob to lower the volume, “I get a little excited listening to music while I drive and end up making it way too loud.”</p><p>“It's fine, it just surprised me,” Gigi says, “I can't fault your taste.”</p><p>“Fall Out Boy fan?” Crystal asks as she backs out of the parking space.</p><p>“Yeah, I like practically all those pop punk bands,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Me too!” Crystal beams at her.</p><p>“I can tell,” Gigi says, a bit abrasive. </p><p>Gigi bites her lip, immediately regretting her tone. Why is she such a bitch even on accident?</p><p>Luckily Crystal laughs a bit. “You must have seen my backpack,” she says.</p><p>“Yeah,” Gigi says, sliding down a bit in her seat.</p><p>“So you saw my other pins?” Crystal asks.</p><p>Gigi isn't sure where Crystal is going with this but nods in affirmative.</p><p>“You don't mind do you? That I'm...I'm a lesbian?” Crystal asks.</p><p>“Oh,” Gigi forgot Crystal didn't know Gigi already knew that, “No, I'm...Jan told me.”</p><p>“Oh, figures,” Crystal huffs, “Jan's very into that kind of thing? Sometimes I think...no, forget it.”</p><p>Gigi is kind of curious what Crystal was going to say, but Crystal is pulling into the parking spot in front of Jackie and Jan's house.</p><p>“Well, thanks,” Gigi says. She considers for a second inviting Crystal inside, but it's not her house so she should probably just leave things there.</p><p>“Hey, thank you for helping me!” Crystal says, “Can we get together again next week? We can make a plan next time Widow and I pop in.”</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi says, “See ya.”</p><p>“Bye!” </p><p>Gigi gets out of the car and Crystal waves at her cheerfully before she pulls away.</p><p>Gigi takes the sidewalk up to the house, pulling out the door key kept hidden under the doormat that Jackie showed her the other day to open the front door. Of course the house is empty and Gigi has the place to herself for the first time. Suddenly she wishes she could cook so she could make something for the girls to pay them back for their hospitality. She settles on calling for a pizza delivery.</p><p> </p><p>“Gigi you better be here,” Gigi hears Jackie's voice say right after she hears the front door open.</p><p>“I'm here,” Gigi says from the living room couch, eyes barely moving from the TV playing some sitcom she's half paying attention to. </p><p>“I was worried,” Jackie says, blustering into the room and hitting Gigi gently on the head with an envelope. </p><p>“Sorry, I wasn't thinking,” Gigi says, rubbing her head even though it didn't hurt.</p><p>“Ooh, pizza!” Jan says from the kitchen.</p><p>“I got pizza,” Gigi says, hoping to quell Jackie's wrath.</p><p>Jackie sighs and hands Gigi the envelope she just hit her with.</p><p>“Your paycheck,” she says, “Mr. Goode...your dad drops them off every other week.”</p><p>“Oh, thanks,” Gigi says taking the envelope a bit reluctantly. Honestly she had forgotten about the payment part of having a job. She's never had to worry much about money before. </p><p>“We told your dad you were out, so you don't need to worry about that,” Jan says, coming out of the kitchen with a plate of pizza.</p><p>“Why? He doesn't care,” Gigi says, a bit more bitterly than she means to.</p><p>The girls are silent for a second and Gigi, feeling uncomfortable, stands. </p><p>“I'll go put this in my room,” she says, waving the envelope.</p><p>As she goes upstairs she hears Jan lamenting to Jackie.</p><p>“I ruined it,” she says, clearly upset, “She seemed like she was in such a good mood.”</p><p>Gigi is closing the door before she can hear Jackie's response.</p><p>Was she in a good mood? She didn't think she was so how do Jackie and Jan, who she's known for barely two weeks, know her better than she knows herself? </p><p>She stuffs the envelope into her backpack and decides she doesn't want to think too hard about it.</p><p> </p><p>The next time Crystal and Widow come into the shop Crystal pulls Gigi aside once she gets her ice cream.</p><p>“Come sit with me a second?” she asks. </p><p>Gigi swears Crystal is giving her puppy eyes.</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi agrees, coming out from behind the counter.</p><p>“So,” Crystal says excitedly as they sit at a corner table, “I got an idea of what I want to do for my project.”</p><p>“Okay? Uh, what is it?” Gigi's not sure why Crystal feels the need to tell her about her project, even if Gigi is a part of it.</p><p>“Oh, um, can I keep it a secret?” Crystal asks, “It's just, I don't like to talk about my projects until they are done so if I end up disappointed I'm only disappointing myself.” Crystal giggles a little at herself.</p><p>“That's fine,” Gigi shrugs, “So what did you want to tell me that for?”</p><p>“Well, I want to make a plan for our next, session? If you want to call it that,” Crystal says, her fingers are playing with her ice cream cup again. Her nails are still purple but the polish is chipped.</p><p>“Friday?” Gigi asks, more as an excuse to get out early on one of their busier days than anything.</p><p>Crystal smiles. “Sounds good, afternoon?”</p><p>Gigi nods. “See you then, I guess,” she stands.</p><p>“Probably before then,” Crystal says, also standing, “I need my ice cream fix.”</p><p>Crystal gives Gigi a friendly clap on the shoulder and goes back to the table Widow is sitting at.</p><p>Gigi goes back behind the counter, Crystal's touch burning on her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Friday finds Crystal and Gigi sitting at a table in the outdoor seating area of a café a few doors down from the parlor. Crystal insisted she needed the extra space this time, promising to buy her something from the café. </p><p>Gigi can see what Crystal means when she pulls a large bag full of colored pencils out of her backpack along with her sketchbook. </p><p>Gigi sips at the iced tea Crystal bought her, watching with a raised eyebrow as Crystal dumps the bag, colored pencils rolling every which way around the table.</p><p>“I need to organize these by color or something,” Crystal says as she starts picking up any orange or yellow pencils. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Gigi asks, curiosity getting the better of her.</p><p>“I need to make sure I get your hair right so I'm going to study it and practice a bit,” Crystal says, setting the pencils she's grabbed to the side, “Ah, I should probably get some brown ones too.”</p><p>“I'll help,” Gigi offers, grabbing the pencils in other colors and stuffing them back in the bag. </p><p>“Thanks!” Crystal smiles at her as she sets the necessary pencils to the side, “Hey, in case you get bored.”</p><p>She rips a page out of her sketchbook and hands it to Gigi.</p><p>Gigi takes the page but gives Crystal a look. “What, you think I'm seven or something?”</p><p>“No!” Crystal whines, “But I got all these colored pencils so I thought maybe you'd be inspired to draw an outfit or something! And I'd feel bad if you had to sit there bored the whole time.”</p><p>“We'll see,” Gigi says, preferring to finish her iced tea first. </p><p>“Your natural hair color is brown right? Judging by your eyebrows,” Crystal says, grabbing an orange pencil and studying her face a second before she starts drawing.</p><p>“Yeah,” Gigi says, “Not that is has been for a while. It was platinum blonde, then black, now this.”</p><p>“Ah, rebirth,” Crystal says, nodding to herself.</p><p>Gigi's eyes widen slightly, surprised at how close she is to Gigi's thought process, but doesn't say anything so she doesn't have to explain.</p><p>“Can you turn around for a second?” Crystal asks, looking back up at her.</p><p>Gigi turns, kind of thankful for the chance to regain composure.</p><p>“Your highlights are really even,” Crystal notes and Gigi takes it as a cue to turn back around.</p><p>“I did the front and gave my mom very specific instructions for the back,” Gigi says.</p><p>Crystal tilts her head. “Your mom helped? My mom freaked when I first came home at, like, fourteen with my hair chopped off and dyed acid green.”</p><p>“My mom would have freaked if I did that too,” Gigi says, “I asked her first and dyed my hair blonde.”</p><p>Crystal laughs. “Okay, fair.”</p><p>Gigi finishes her iced tea and sets the cup to the side. As much as she hates to admit it, there is a blue colored pencil crying out to her so she grabs it and the piece of paper Crystal gave her.</p><p>Crystal doesn't say anything but Gigi can see her smiling to herself. At least it's not a smug smile. She seems more...pleased.</p><p>“Is the whole project going to be in pencils?” Gigi asks, curious.</p><p>“No, probably acrylics?” Crystal says, tilting her head.</p><p>“Wouldn't it be a better idea to test using the proper medium?”</p><p>“Probably,” Crystal giggles, Gigi imagines it's at herself, “But I don't think it's a good idea to carry my paints around. Plus, the paint is the last thing anyway so as long as I know what colors I'm using and the base sketch is done it will work out.”</p><p>It sounds pretty slapdash to Gigi, especially compared to how she treats her own art, but the sketches Gigi has seen are pretty good so it must work for Crystal. Still...</p><p>“You'll show me when it's done, right?” Gigi asks, glancing up from her sketch that was ending up kind of eighties tuxedo prom dress.</p><p>“Of course!” Crystal looks up at her, eyes wide, “You can see it whenever you want for being so helpful even though I usually don't do that.”</p><p>“I can wait until you're done,” Gigi assures her.</p><p>“That's definitely fine by me,” Crystal says, “I'm really weird about people seeing my art when it isn't done? When I first met Jackie and brought her to my apartment I made her wait in the living room while I went in my bedroom and turned all my canvases around.”</p><p>Crystal giggles, but Gigi's pencil stills and she stares at Crystal wide-eyed.</p><p>“Oh,” Crystal blinks like she just realized something, “I think only Jackie, Widow, and myself know this but Jackie and I actually met at a lesbian bar near campus and, well, we did what you do when you meet someone at a bar and take them home.”</p><p>Gigi can already tell she's blushing. “Jackie didn't mention that.”</p><p>“Not surprising,” Crystal says, shrugging, “The sex was fine, but we really got along so the next morning Jackie was like you should come by the shop I work at. So a couple days later I went there with Widow who is my neighbor. We got there and Jackie acted like I didn't have my head between her thighs forty-eight hours prior so that kind of surprised me, but Jan recognized us from campus and started up a conversation. Probably all part of Jackie's calculations. She knew Jan would do the Jan thing and make friends without Jackie needing to say anything. So that's how we all became friends by most accounts. As for me, message received. She clearly didn't want to broadcast how we met so I try to keep my mouth shut about it. I figure it's fine though as long as I don't spill to Jan.” Crystal rolls her eyes.</p><p>Gigi's mind has been stuck since “head between her thighs”.</p><p>Crystal must notice Gigi's behavior, if not her red face, and looks apologetic. “I'm sorry, that was too much information, right? I made you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“No! No, just,” Gigi pauses.</p><p>Crystal did make her uncomfortable. Just not for the reason she probably thinks.</p><p>“It's not like that,” Gigi says, “I've just never heard about such things before.”</p><p>“<em>And it sounds really hot</em>,” Gigi's mind whispers.</p><p>“I'll keep a lid on it from now on,” Crystal insists, not that Gigi wants her to. </p><p>“Don't worry about it,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Well, I think I got a good sample,” Crystal says, putting away her pencils.</p><p>“Can I see?” Gigi asks, leaning forward. </p><p>Crystal puts the sketchbook on the table so Gigi can see. Sketch-wise it's just a vague outline of her face, the focus is all on the colors in her hair and how it comes down in waves across her face, both the front and back. The color is remarkably close actually.</p><p>“It's really good, hopefully you can do the same thing with paint,” Gigi says, only to immediately realize it was kind of rude. She purses her lips, but doesn't apologize.</p><p>Crystal laughs. “Better hope for both of us. Wouldn't want to disrespect your sunset hair like that.”</p><p>Gigi lets out a small breath she didn't realize she was holding. She's glad Crystal realizes she's not trying to be mean. That's gotten her into enough trouble in her life.</p><p>“You ready to go home?” Crystal asks, snapping Gigi out of her thoughts.</p><p>“Uh, yeah,” Gigi says.</p><p>Gigi helps Crystal pack her stuff. As she's about to fold the piece of paper she drew on Crystal points to it.</p><p>“Can I see?” she asks, eyes wide and eager.</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi says, but is a little reluctant when she hands it to Crystal.</p><p>“Ooh, cute!” Crystal squeals when she sees the dress Gigi drew, “Very eighties.”</p><p>“It's my brand,” Gigi says, shrugging.</p><p>“I like it,” Crystal says, handing Gigi the paper back.</p><p>Gigi folds the paper into a small square and sticks it in her shorts pocket. Maybe she'll redraw the design using her tablet later to have it saved on her laptop.</p><p>It's evening by the time everything is said and done and they reach Crystal's car.</p><p>As expected, when Crystal starts her car New Found Glory is coming from the speakers as Gigi settles into her seat. She doesn't attempt any conversation on the short drive to Jackie and Jan's, content with enjoying the music, and Crystal doesn't say anything either.</p><p>Jackie and Jan are already home by the time Crystal and Gigi arrive.</p><p>Jan is at the mailbox getting the mail, but is at Crystal's window as soon as the car stops moving.</p><p>“Hey Crys! Want to stay for dinner?” she asks, “Jackie's making kebabs.”</p><p>“Um,” Crystal turns to Gigi, “Is that okay with you?”</p><p>Gigi blinks at her. “It's not my house and Jan invited you. You don't need my permission.”</p><p>Crystal turns back to Jan. “One second,” she says sweetly and rolls the window back up.</p><p>Gigi can see Jan pout and cross her arms behind the glass.</p><p>“Listen, Jan's kind of...she thinks, I mean, she might,” Crystal stutters.</p><p>Gigi sighs and leans closer to Crystal whose eyes widen and she backs up.</p><p>“Don't worry about it,” she says, “Stay if you want.”</p><p>It's nice Crystal cares about Jan making her uncomfortable, but Jackie's there to keep her under control even if Crystal doesn't know it. And she wouldn't mind hanging out with Crystal some more.</p><p>Gigi gets out of the car and Crystal rolls down the window again to tell Jan she'd love to stay. Gigi ignores them and goes into the house where Jackie is already starting dinner.</p><p>“Crystal is staying for dinner,” she warns.</p><p>“Are you okay with that?” Jackie asks.</p><p>Gigi rolls her eyes. “<em>Are you okay with it? You fucked her</em>,” she thinks, kind of annoyed that everyone is asking if she's okay. </p><p>“I don't care,” she says instead.</p><p>“Could have fooled me,” Jackie murmurs to herself, but Gigi hears it.</p><p>Gigi leaves in a huff, going into the living room and throwing herself on the couch.</p><p>Jan and Crystal enter the room and Jan's eyes light up. </p><p>“Crystal, you sit and I'll go see how Jackie is doing,” she says, pushing Crystal to sit on the couch with Gigi.</p><p>“Do you want to watch anything?” Gigi asks, grabbing the remote control from the side table.</p><p>“Uh, whatever is fine,” Crystal says, giggling a bit nervously.</p><p>“Gigi, Gilmore Girls is on, turn that on,” Jan says, entering the room with a plate of food. As Gigi is changing the channel Jan sits on the other end of the couch, pushing Crystal into Gigi.</p><p>“Sorry,” Crystal whispers, quickly moving away from Gigi.</p><p>“Dinner is ready, by the way,” Jan adds like it wasn't obvious.</p><p>Crystal shoots up. “Time to eat then,” she says with another nervous giggle.</p><p>Gigi gets up too, shooting a slight glare at Jan who is steadfastly ignoring her and staring at the television.</p><p>When she enters the kitchen, Jackie has a plate in hand already and is pointing out what the serving plates contain to Crystal.</p><p>“These are called joojeh kebabs, it's just chicken with olive oil and saffron, this is saffron rice, and those are grilled tomatoes, obviously,” she says.</p><p>“Ooh, Persian cuisine?” Crystal says, looking pleased.</p><p>“One of the few things I got to learn from my mom,” Jackie says wryly before she notices Gigi, “Hey Gigi, you want to know what everything is?”</p><p>“No, I heard,” Gigi says, grabbing the last clean plate from the cupboard.</p><p>“Well, take as much as you like,” Jackie smiles at her and disappears into the living room.</p><p>Crystal fills her plate and goes back into the living room. Gigi is a little more reserved with her portions, a bit afraid she won't like anything.</p><p>When Gigi goes back into the living room she's not surprised to find Jackie is in the armchair, leaving the only available spot back on the couch next to Crystal. Gigi can already imagine Jan insisting that Jackie take the chair if that wasn't where she was already going and Jackie either didn't realize or is going traitor.</p><p>Gigi takes her seat on the couch next to Crystal, trying not to appear too grumpy. She doesn't have to for long though when she tastes Jackie's food and finds it surprisingly delicious. </p><p>They all ate their fill of Persian food and then loafed around watching television, leaving their dirty dishes in the sink until later.</p><p>“I should probably get going,” Crystal finally says after the episode of Gilmore Girls they were watching ended.</p><p>“Gigi will walk you out,” Jan says, not moving from her clearly comfortable spot curled in the corner of the couch.</p><p>“Oh, I can see myself out,” Crystal insists after glancing briefly at Gigi and stands.</p><p>Gigi glances at Jackie and finds her asleep on the armchair. Seeing as she will be no help, Gigi sighs to herself and stands as well.</p><p>“I'll see you out,” she says. So much for Jackie keeping Jan in line.</p><p>They walk down the hall to the front door which Gigi opens.</p><p>“Thanks,” Crystal says shyly. She fishes her car keys out of her back pocket and fidgets with them. </p><p>“Someone in this house has to be polite,” Gigi says, dryly, “Kind of ironic that it's me.”</p><p>Crystal tilts her head. “How so?” she asks.</p><p>“Well, I don't live here and...” Gigi stops herself, “Yeah, I don't live here.”</p><p>“Okay...” Crystal gives her a look of playful suspicion but let's Gigi drop the subject, “Good night.”</p><p>“Good night,” Gigi says.</p><p>Crystal smiles at her and turns around, making her way down the walkway. Gigi watches her go, light on her feet as ever and her accessories jangling, until she gets in her car. It's only then that she realizes she's leaning against the door frame and has been staring way too long. </p><p>She straightens up and closes the door, bypassing returning to the living room and going upstairs to her bedroom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In Too Deep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks! They make me happier than you can believe.<br/>2. I was worried about getting this chapter out on schedule? Mama, this was done Tuesday night lmao. So schedule is looking good for now. Got a good start on chapter 6, but that one is going to be a bit long unless I find a place I feel comfortable cutting it.<br/>3. So I noticed on a reread of last chapter that Jackie was worried where Gigi was even though Gigi told them Crystal was driving her home. To get rid of the inconsistency I took out Gigi telling the other girls her plans. This is so say sometimes I make continuity errors or, like with Gigi's current and upcoming backstory stuff, I'm worried I might make a mistake or make things confusing so if there are ever any problems or you find yourself confused please let me know and I'll try to fix or address it. To be honest Gigi's issues are a bit multi-layered because I couldn't help myself so I'm worried about it not making sense or getting confusing, please let me know if it is.<br/>4. Chapter title from In Too Deep by Sum 41</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi wakes to Jan singing like usual. It's kind of a routine they've gotten into. Jackie cracks Gigi's door open when she gets up and goes into the bathroom and Jan, waking shortly after Jackie, starts singing which ends up waking Gigi up. </p>
<p>She's singing a Pink song today as she passes by Gigi's door to switch places with Jackie in the bathroom.</p>
<p>Gigi sighs to herself and turns from her side to her back. </p>
<p>She's hanging out with Crystal today.</p>
<p>Or maybe it's more accurate to say she's helping Crystal with her project, but if she's being honest with herself she likes hanging out with Crystal. She just has to tell herself it's all just as friends. Even if she's not sure it is.</p>
<p>Despite Jan's teases Crystal hasn't made a move so that makes it easy. </p>
<p>As long as things stay as they were no one has to get hurt. Crystal doesn't have to get hurt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your date is here.”</p>
<p>Gigi is in the back room getting some more packages of spoons to move to the front when Jackie interrupts.</p>
<p>Gigi gives Jackie a look. “Did you swap bodies with Jan?” she asks dryly.</p>
<p>“Nope, thank god,” Jackie says, grabbing half of the spoons from Gigi, “Bring the rest out and you're free.”</p>
<p>Gigi huffs to herself after Jackie leaves. She's been about as annoying as Jan lately. </p>
<p>She takes off and hangs up her apron and grabs the rest of the spoons. She leans her back against the door to open it since her arms are full. </p>
<p>Crystal is leaning against the counter, chatting to Jan, but she spots Gigi and gives her a smile. Gigi nods and then turns her attention to putting the spoons away, opening a bottom cabinet with the toe of her flats and shoving them in.</p>
<p>“You could have left the cabinet open,” Gigi gripes, closing the door once more.</p>
<p>“Sorry, wasn't really thinking,” Jackie says, opening a couple of the boxes and refilling the spoon containers. </p>
<p>She does sound sorry so Gigi has to let it go. “See you guys,” she says, swinging open the counter gate.</p>
<p>“Bye,” says Heidi, the only one Gigi likes at this point.</p>
<p>Crystal says bye to everyone too and the girls exit the shop.</p>
<p>“Ready to go?” Crystal asks, one hand on her hip and the other on the strap of her backpack.</p>
<p>“Where are we going?” Gigi asks with a raised eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Uh, the beach,” Crystal says, tilting her head at the water a hundred feet away.</p>
<p>“It's not like it's a journey,” Gigi says with a snort.</p>
<p>“Anything can be a journey,” Crystal says with a smile and starts walking.</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes a little and follows Crystal to the retaining wall they sat on the first day they did this.</p>
<p>“I'm going to do a sketch of your full face today, but don't worry too much about it,” Crystal says while getting out her supplies, “Like sitting still and stuff.”</p>
<p>“Has anyone told you you're kind of slapdash for an artist?” Gigi asks, crossing her legs.</p>
<p>“Um, all my professors?” Crystal giggles, “If you're really worried about it maybe you can come to my apartment one day and I'll show you some of my work. Hopefully that will inspire some confidence in you.”</p>
<p>“I'm not that worried,” Gigi admits.</p>
<p>“Trust me?” Crystal glances at her and Gigi's heart skips a beat, much to her chagrin.</p>
<p>“I've seen enough,” Gigi says because that's less revealing than just saying yes.</p>
<p>“Well, how's it going? You seem annoyed today,” Crystal notes as she draws.</p>
<p>Gigi is a little surprised Crystal noticed. She hopes she isn't blushing. </p>
<p>“It's nothing really, just Jackie and Jan have been...I don't know.”</p>
<p>“Annoying?”</p>
<p>Gigi can't help but giggle. “Kind of, yeah.”</p>
<p>“I get it. I've had to pleasure of watching Jackie be obviously in love with an oblivious Jan myself. Not to mention when Jan was trying to get Jackie and I to go on a date, once again completely oblivious to how we met,” Crystal shakes her head, “Those two can be a handful.”</p>
<p>“<em>Yeah, well now Jan wants me to date you</em>,” Gigi thinks.</p>
<p>“Can I tell you something?” Crystal asks, looking from her sketchbook to Gigi.</p>
<p>“Uh, sure?” Gigi says, not sure where this is going.</p>
<p>“Maybe it's just me, but I've always found Jan's fascination with lesbians very strange. Like, maybe she's more interested in it than she thinks? And for a reason?”</p>
<p>“You think she's a lesbian? She has a fiancé,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Not necessarily that I think she's a lesbian, but I think she likes girls. She just might not know it. I mean, why else is she so excited whenever she meets a lesbian? Or I assume she is, she was with me.”</p>
<p>“<em>Me too</em>,” Gigi thinks to herself. Maybe Crystal did have a point.</p>
<p>“Have you told Jackie about it?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>“Nah, she has enough going on in her head about Jan without me bringing it up,” Crystal says, “I don't want to, like, put that idea into Jackie's head. It'll just hurt her more. Even if Jan does like girls I don't think it's going to stop her from getting married anyway.”</p>
<p>“Do you think she shouldn't get married?”</p>
<p>“I met the guy, like, once. Wasn't a fan,” Crystal scrunches her nose, “I don't get how Jackie hasn't even tried to shake her out of it. I'm sure there's a lot I don't know though.”</p>
<p>“If you want my opinion I think you have a point, but it doesn't really matter does it?” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Guess not. It's a shame though. At least for the fact that of the three of us Jan's parents are most accepting.”</p>
<p>Crystal gives her sketchbook a slight frown.</p>
<p>Gigi knows it's not her place to ask, but she can't help being curious about, well, everything about Crystal.</p>
<p>“Is that why you're not close to your parents? They don't accept you?”</p>
<p>“Pretty much,” Crystal shrugs, “In my endless brilliance I decided to come out before moving to college and it didn't go well. And I wasn't expecting it to go great in the first place? But wow. We didn't talk for like nine months.”</p>
<p>“So you're talking now?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think they're getting used to the idea? That or they are pretending it's not real. I've been telling myself it's the former.”</p>
<p>“I hope it ends up working out,” Gigi offers, “For both of your parents. I have my mom, but sometimes I-” Gigi clamps her mouth shut, a freezing fear suddenly gripping her heart.</p>
<p>Crystal is looking at her expectantly.</p>
<p>“Never, I don't,” Gigi doesn't know what she's saying.</p>
<p>Crystal flips her sketchbook closed and pulls her backpack to her to put it away. “Can you wait here for just a minute?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Gigi answers, confused.</p>
<p>“Just a minute,” Crystal insists. She throws her backpack over her shoulder and runs off to the shops on the boardwalk. Gigi watches until Crystal disappears behind them to the parking lot.</p>
<p>That's what she gets for trying to open up for once, she supposes. Well when Crystal comes back she can just start over and they won't have to talk about it.</p>
<p>Crystal is back a couple minutes later, longer than she said, but Gigi can see she is without her backpack and her car keys are hanging out of the pocket of her jean shorts. Crystal giving herself just a minute to go to her car and put away her backpack was way undershooting it so Gigi can't blame her. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal says, mostly to herself and breathing heavily when she comes to a stop next to Gigi.</p>
<p>She stays standing for a minute and Gigi tries not to look at Crystal's legs less than a foot from her face.</p>
<p>When Crystal finally comes back down to Gigi's level it's just to jump down off the retaining wall to the sand below.</p>
<p>“Okay, let's go,” she says, looking up at Gigi.</p>
<p>Gigi lets her legs dangle off the edge of the wall but doesn't follow yet. “Go where?”</p>
<p>“Nowhere, on a walk,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>Gigi looks down at the drop, probably about seven feet so it's not dangerous but it's a bit intimidating.</p>
<p>“Or you can take the stairs if you don't want to jump,” Crystal says, pointing the the stairs some yards away.</p>
<p>Gigi closes her eyes and takes a breath before opening them again and pushing herself off the ledge. She stumbles slightly, but Crystal is there with her hands on her forearms so she doesn't fall.</p>
<p>“Um, thanks,” Gigi says, quickly moving back.</p>
<p>“No problem, but warn a girl next time,” Crystal says with a smile.</p>
<p>“I'll only jump with permission,” Gigi says, only a little sarcastic. </p>
<p>“Let's walk,” Crystal takes a step and winces, “Okay, shoes off first.”</p>
<p>Crystal crouches down the undo her sandals and Gigi slips off her flats.</p>
<p>“Yeah, walking on the sand in shoes isn't fun,” she agrees.</p>
<p>They walk to where the tide ends, their feet sinking into the wet sand and then Crystal starts walking along the water. Gigi follows, a little hesitant at first, but eventually she walks in step with Crystal.</p>
<p>“Whenever you're ready,” Crystal says, clasping her hands behind her back, “I'll be listening.”</p>
<p>“I was hoping you'd drop it,” Gigi admits.</p>
<p>“We can drop it if you want, but you sounded like you had something to say,” Crystal finally looks at her. </p>
<p>The setting sun behind her makes Crystal look like she's glowing. Crystal keeps saying her hair looks like the sunset, but nothing should be compared to something that makes Crystal look like that. Gigi forces her gaze away from Crystal, her heart beating heavy. </p>
<p>“I've cried and complained and whined about my parents plenty of times to plenty of people,” Crystal continues, “I get it, I really do. If you want to talk.”</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't look back at Crystal, but she does finally speak. “It's just my dad,” she says and continues walking, fidgeting with her fingers, “He's, I guess you'd say he has his ideas about how things should be in a family. You know the usual, father works all day and mother takes care of the kids and housework type thing. I guess that worked for my mom for a while, but then when I was, I don't know how old, early grade school, she got a job offer for a TV show. A friend of a friend that went to college with her and knew about her work as a costume designer or something. I think she always wanted to go back to working, I remember her sketching and sewing constantly when she wasn't cleaning or taking care of me. She brought it up to my dad and I can only guess he refused. All I remember is a lot of fighting. </p>
<p>“It didn't take long for my mom to get fed up and she filed for divorce. I was never involved in the proceedings, but my mom got full custody and we moved out to LA, then New York when the TV show finished. She never said it and I never asked, but I know my dad didn't even try to have any custody over me. He had a new wife a year later, one who would stay 'in her place' or whatever, and another kid a few years after that.</p>
<p>“I think I was thirteen or so by the time he tried contacting us, or rather, me. We would meet up around birthdays and holidays to have dinner at some restaurant between here and New York. I don't know if he felt guilty or what. I don't know why I agreed either. Maybe I thought, I don't know, things could be different. They never are though. It's like, he doesn't care at all. He just wants things a certain way. Marriage, children, there's no feelings attached to them. He's just doing it because that's what you're <em>supposed</em> to do.”</p>
<p>Gigi stops walking, Crystal doing the same, and rubs her arms despite her shoes getting in the way as the night time chill starts to set in around them.</p>
<p>“Sorry I'm complaining, there's so many people that have much worse-”</p>
<p>Crystal drops her sandals and grabs her arms which makes Gigi shut up. “No,” is all she says.</p>
<p>Crystal's grip loosens and she pulls Gigi closer and though she hesitates Gigi lets herself be pulled into Crystal's arms. Crystal hugs her tight, her head resting on Gigi's shoulder, and Gigi releases her own shoes to hug Crystal back. </p>
<p>She doesn't cry because that would be stupid. At least that's what she tells herself as she tilts her head up to the sky. </p>
<p>Gigi lets go first a couple seconds later and Crystal also lets go, moving back a little, but she keeps her hands on Gigi's arms.</p>
<p>“Your parents' inadequacies are not your fault,” Crystal says, seriously, “No matter what they did or didn't do that doesn't mean you don't deserve all the love and kindness the world has to offer. Someone told me that once.”</p>
<p>They stare at each other and then Crystal is back to all smiles in the blink of an eye. </p>
<p>“Wow, I can't believe I remembered all that. Glad I did,” she says, letting Gigi's arms go and Gigi can't help but smile back just a little bit.</p>
<p>She's not sure she believes it, but she'll pretend it's true. Just for right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's dark by the time Crystal parks her car outside Jackie and Jan's house.</p>
<p>Gigi pauses after she unbuckles her seat belt. “Sor-”</p>
<p>Crystal shushes her before she can finish one word.</p>
<p>Gigi gives Crystal a look, but Crystal stays with her finger on her lips, staring back at Gigi seriously.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Gigi says, quieter.</p>
<p>“Any time,” Crystal says, smiling now.</p>
<p>“See you later,” Gigi says, opening the door.</p>
<p>“Yeah, good night.”</p>
<p>“Night.”</p>
<p>Gigi exits the car and goes up the walk. She pauses at the door, considering getting the key and opening the door herself, but it's less trouble to just knock.</p>
<p>Jackie opens the door. “Back, Cinderella?” she says.</p>
<p>She's not in the mood for these comments, but keeps herself in check.</p>
<p>“Where's Jan?” she asks, slipping inside past Jackie.</p>
<p>“On the phone with Kyle, probably for the rest of the night,” Jackie says, and it's only then Gigi notices how tired she looks, “Leftovers in the fridge.”</p>
<p>Gigi goes into the kitchen and finds a pan of lasagna in the refrigerator. She cuts out a piece and throws it in the microwave and then takes the plate into the living room. </p>
<p>Jackie is laid out on the recliner with the news on, but thankfully she changes it when Gigi enters the room. She didn't know either of the girls even watched the news, but maybe it's something Jackie does when Jan isn't around.</p>
<p>Either way she's just glad Jackie turned on some dumb sitcom she can watch while she eats instead.</p>
<p>Jackie stays quiet and Gigi checks a couple time to see if she's fallen asleep but she's staring at the TV blankly.</p>
<p>Not that Gigi is looking to talk, but as she finishes her food she can't help but keep thinking about what Crystal said. </p>
<p>She keeps thinking as she takes her plate into the kitchen. The sink is empty for once so she figures she won't ruin the streak and turns on the hot water to wash her plate.</p>
<p>“<em>Your parents' inadequacies aren't your fault? But what if their inadequacies end up being your inadequacies</em>?” she wonders as she scrubs the plate.</p>
<p>“How's it going with Crystal?” </p>
<p>The plate slips out of Gigi's hand and clatters against the sink when she jumps in shock.</p>
<p>“You scared me,” she says, looking over at Jackie who has suddenly appeared at the doorway.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Jackie says, walking closer.</p>
<p>Gigi grabs a dishtowel and dries off the plate before putting it on the rack with the other clean dishes. </p>
<p>“So?” Jackie presses.</p>
<p>“So what?” Gigi snaps, folding the towel haphazardly and throwing it on the counter.</p>
<p>“How's it going with Crystal and her project?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I'm sure that's what you want to know,” Gigi crosses her arms and glares at Jackie, “You said you'd get Jan to drop the issue, but you've been just as bad as her the past couple of days. Don't act like you're just curious about the project.”</p>
<p>Jackie looks a bit taken aback by Gigi's outburst, but she doesn't slink away like Gigi was kind of hoping.</p>
<p>“Look,” Jackie runs a hand through her thick hair, “I'm sorry. In my defense, I said that when it was clear you didn't like her, but now...”</p>
<p>“Now...what?” Gigi asks, voice harsh.</p>
<p>“I heard what you said, about not thinking it's worth it, but I really think you like her. And I think she likes you too. And maybe this is just me because I've been in love with a straight girl for half of my life at this point, but I don't get how you can like each other and not let it happen.”</p>
<p>Gigi turns away from Jackie, her nails digging into the skin of her arms. “Yeah, you don't get it.”</p>
<p>Gigi hears Jackie take a few steps and Gigi takes a couple steps forward herself in case Jackie is trying to come closer.</p>
<p>“I won't bring it up anymore since that's what you want,” Jackie says, “I just wish I understood who hurt you to make you not want to take a chance.”</p>
<p>Gigi closes her eyes and uncrosses her arms but leaves her hands clenched at her sides. She opens her eyes and turns to Jackie who is looking at her with sympathy but Gigi doesn't want it.</p>
<p>“No one,” she says, voice even.</p>
<p>Jackie blinks at her for a second. “That's weird,” she finally says, “You look like you're telling the truth.”</p>
<p>“Because I am,” Gigi says. She tries to relax her hands and shoulders, tries to look like someone who is just above it all and not someone who kind of hates herself.</p>
<p>“When we talked before it sounded like-”</p>
<p>“Well, what it sounds like isn't always what it is,” Gigi interrupts, “I never said I didn't think it was worth it for <em>me</em> to fall in love.”</p>
<p>Jackie's eyes are back to soft and mothering. Gigi doesn't want to see it right now and she turns on her heel.</p>
<p>“Gigi,” Jackie starts only to stop, clearly not knowing what to say.</p>
<p>“I'm going to bed,” Gigi says and quickly leaves the kitchen and goes up the stairs. If Jackie tries to stop her she doesn't hear it.</p>
<p>She enters her room and half of her wants to slam the door, but she can hear Jan chatting happily in her room so she stops herself and closes the door gently. She throws herself on the bed not-so-gently.</p>
<p>Worthy of love, Crystal had said. It's a nice notion for sure, but if she's like <em>him</em> it doesn't matter if she's worthy of love or not. It doesn't change the fact that falling in love with Gigi Goode would just be a mistake.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I love y'all with my entire heart.<br/>2. So I sat down and made a plan for how I'm going to split the story up and right now it's looking like it will be 15 chapters so that's what I have it down as for now but it's subject to change.<br/>3. This is a long chapter so I didn't finish it until yesterday night and I just started chapter 7. Luckily it's a holiday in the US next week and I have two days off work (and I won't visit my family, pandemic or not) so hopefully I'll get a couple chapters done and have a backlog again.<br/>4. Title is from The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes by Fall Out Boy. There are a lot of music name drops this chapter, I'm sorry. See notes at the end for the names of songs that weren't already explicitly given.</p>
<p>CONTENT WARNING: If you might need a content warning here it is, if you don't want to be spoiled? and you don't think you'll be effected feel free to skip. This chapter has MENTIONS of bullying/harassment and sex without verbal consent. Neither of these things are described in depth, but if you think these things might effect you please proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jackie apologizes again the next day. </p>
<p>Gigi says it's fine, but remains in a funk the rest of the week. She avoids talking to the girls and tries to find other things to do when Crystal comes into the shop, barely giving Crystal a hello before she disappears into the back room to do not much of anything.</p>
<p>If she's honest she misses the companionship the girls have given her the past few weeks. Just not enough to pull herself out of the hole she's buried herself in.</p>
<p>By Friday she's a bit of a nervous wreck, one because she's spent the entire week in her own head, and two because she knows her dad is stopping by today with the paychecks and she does not want to see him. Not that she ever really does, but after the week she's had she doesn't need to see who she blames for her inner turmoil.</p>
<p>She spends the day dropping and spilling various things, ice cream, cups, spoons, cones, until Jackie gently takes her by the arm and brings her into the back.</p>
<p>“Gigi, take the rest of the day off,” Jackie says, eyes soft.</p>
<p>“It's almost the evening rush,” Gigi says, trying to see if she can find an opening to push past Jackie and leave the back room. She doesn't want to go home, that would just leave her alone with her thoughts.</p>
<p>“You hate the evening rush,” Jackie says, crossing her arms. She doesn't budge from in front of the door.</p>
<p>“Well I also hate everyone babying me and feeling sorry for me, but that doesn't stop you, does it?” Gigi snaps. </p>
<p>She moves forward hoping Jackie will get out of the way and let her out the door.</p>
<p>“Fine, you're making everyone's job harder with your constant mistakes today. Would you rather hear that?” Jackie asks, holding out her hands helplessly.</p>
<p>“Then I'm sorry my dad dumped me on you,” Gigi says, her voice rising in volume.</p>
<p>Jackie's eyes turn sad, the last thing Gigi wants to see. “Gigi you know that's-”</p>
<p>Gigi uses Jackie's lowered defenses to push past her and shove open the door, uncaring if any customers are around to see her storm out. </p>
<p>“Gigi,” Jackie blusters out after her, “I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have phrased it like that. You know I don't-”</p>
<p>“Oh, no! I know!” she says, throwing off her apron and flinging open the counter gate while Jan and Heidi watched with wide, shocked eyes, “I'm impossible to put up with, I'm a bitch. It's no wonder my dad ditched me as soon as possible! Who could even stand me for more than a couple months?”</p>
<p>She knows none of the girls think that even as she says it, but if yelling makes her feel the slightest bit better that's what she'll do. And once she's done she turns on her heel to storm out the door only to come face to face with a shocked Crystal.</p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>,” is all Gigi can think. </p>
<p>She pushes past Crystal and rushes out the door like she was planning, the cheerful jingle of the bell practically mocking her. </p>
<p>On the bright side if Crystal does indeed have a crush on her seeing her outburst will summarily get rid of it.</p>
<p>“Gigi!” </p>
<p>Gigi's surprised to hear Crystal's voice following her a second later, but she keeps moving forward even though she doesn't know where she is going.</p>
<p>She stops when Crystal runs over and stands in front of her, blocking her way. Crystal doesn't say anything, but holds out her hand.</p>
<p>Gigi looks between Crystal and her hand questioningly.</p>
<p>“We can go wherever you want just let me come with you,” she says, “It's not good to run off by yourself upset. I told the others I'd look after you.”</p>
<p>Gigi, too exhausted to be mad anymore, just sighs and takes Crystal's hand.</p>
<p>Crystal squeezes her hand and leads Gigi around the shops to the parking lot and to her car.</p>
<p>They get into Crystal car. Crystal sticks the key in the ignition, but doesn't turn it.</p>
<p>“Where to?” she asks.</p>
<p>Gigi leans her head against the window. “Anywhere that's not here.”</p>
<p>“You got it,” Crystal says, starting the car, “Oh.”</p>
<p>Eyes lighting up, Crystal reaches into the back and pulls out a CD case.</p>
<p>“You pick the music,” she says, handing it to Gigi.</p>
<p>Gigi opens the CD case as Crystal shifts the car into reverse and pulls out. Most of the case has CDs from albums Crystal clearly bought herself, but there are some mix CDs there too. The last one in particular catches her attention as, instead of listing the tracks on it like the other mix CDs, this one just has “her” and a heart written on it in sharpie. </p>
<p>“Uh, what's this?” Gigi asks, tilting the case toward Crystal, unable to contain her curiosity.</p>
<p>Crystal glancing over and giggles when she sees the CD Gigi is showing her, but it also appears she's blushing slightly.</p>
<p>“Oh, that's from when I was dating my first real girlfriend,” she says, “Probably should get rid of it. It's just embarrassing now.”</p>
<p>“Well let's see,” Gigi says mischievously and takes the CD out of its pocket and sticks it into the player.</p>
<p>All About Her by New Found Glory starts playing and Crystal groans.</p>
<p>“Oh my god, it's worse than I remember,” she cries.</p>
<p>Gigi can't help but laugh a little at Crystal's theatrics. </p>
<p>“Come on, I know you still like this song,” she says.</p>
<p>“Well, yeah,” Crystal admits, “But not in relation to <em>her</em>.”</p>
<p>Gigi's smile drops slightly. “Was is...bad?”</p>
<p>Crystal frowns, looking deep in thought for a minute. “No. We just drifted apart I guess. We had a lot of issues regarding her not wanting anyone to know and being all secretive, but I can't bring myself to blame her considering how things turned out with my parents. It hurts though, when someone acts like they don't even like you when other people are around.”</p>
<p>Gigi thinks this girl sounds like a jerk, but she doesn't have much room to talk so she stays silent.</p>
<p>The first song ends and the sound of a guitar signals the beginning of the next song. Gigi listens hard, trying to see if she can place it, but Crystal is reaching over and punching the next track button with lightning quick speed.</p>
<p>“Uh, what was that?” Gigi asks with a raised eyebrow. She looks over at Crystal and is surprised to find she is quite red in the face</p>
<p>“You really don't want to listen to that song,” Crystal insists.</p>
<p>Gigi thinks she actually might if Crystal is that embarrassed by it, but figures she's trying to save them some awkwardness and drops it.</p>
<p>It's then that Gigi realizes the song currently playing is Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer. “Oh, wow,” she says with a smirk.</p>
<p>Crystal looks sheepish. “Aw, come on. You've felt like this before, right? All sappy and in love.”</p>
<p>Gigi smirk drops. She turns to look out the window. “No.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Crystal says quietly.</p>
<p>They lapse into silence, the only sounds coming from the CD player. They stay silent as Crystal drives along the coast. </p>
<p>The CD ends and New Found Glory is coming out of the speakers once again. They are probably about a half hour out of town by now so Crystal turns into a parking lot next to a popular section of beach.</p>
<p>“You wanna walk or stay here?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't answer, but gets out of the car. She stops at the front and leans against the hood, eyes watching the sunset.</p>
<p>Crystal follows, sitting down on the hood next to her. “Sorry, I made it worse,” she says quietly.</p>
<p>“Not really,” Gigi shrugs, “It's all the same shit.”</p>
<p>“You want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>“I don't know,” Gigi says with a sigh.</p>
<p>“We can go bury ourselves in the sand if you want,” Crystal offers, smiling slightly.</p>
<p>“Doesn't sound half bad,” Gigi sighs with the slightest smile.</p>
<p>“It's not my fault is it?” Crystal asks. Gigi looks over and Crystal is biting her nail, looking guilty. “We talked about your dad, then you were avoiding me this week, and then you were upset with everyone. I didn't...was it because I made you talk about your dad?”</p>
<p>“You didn't make me,” Gigi swiftly corrects, “You know that.”</p>
<p>“Well, maybe you felt-”</p>
<p>“I didn't. I'm not even angry at anyone. I'm angry at myself,” Gigi admits, “I wish I could be half as angry at my dad or my ex as I am at myself.”</p>
<p>“Ex...boyfriend?” Crystal questions.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Crystal leans back on her hands, “So I know about your dad, but what happened with your ex? If you don't mind saying.”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes. “Honestly, he's responsible for the downfall of my social life to an extent and he's still the least important person involved in my life,” she says, “I only went out with him because he asked.”</p>
<p>“So, you didn't like him?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“No, not really,” Gigi sits down on the car hood now instead of just leaning on it, “My mom could tell too. She met him once and said she didn't know why I was doing this. She said 'Don't be like your father, Gigi'. I was so mad I didn't talk to her for a week.”</p>
<p>Crystal's eyebrows shoot up, “A week?”</p>
<p>“That's a long time for us.”</p>
<p>“I guess so,” Crystal pulls her feet up to the hood, wrapping her arms around her knees, “What did he do then?”</p>
<p>Gigi leans back on her elbows. “If you want the whole story, it's not about him. It's about Jaida.”</p><hr/>
<p>Gigi met Jaida Hall freshman year of high school in first hour home economics when they were seated next to each other and found out they were both quick with a needle and thread. </p>
<p>They became fast friends due to their mutual interests in fashion and sewing, though Gigi was more into clothes and Jaida was more into embroidery. </p>
<p>They stayed friends even though they ended up going slightly different routes. Jaida went on to become the smart, popular, and beloved captain of the girl's basketball team. Gigi was, well, she was popular too. She may only have average grades and not be part of any extracurricular activities, but she was gorgeous and knew about fashion. And sure she was kind of bitchy, but it wasn't necessarily on purpose. Gigi was just a very dry person and didn't think much before she spoke. She was still popular so it couldn't be that big of a deal. </p>
<p>The beginning of junior year Alex asked her out. Despite her status, no one had asked Gigi out before. Her friends told her, unprompted, she never got asked out because she was too intimidating. Gigi didn't care much about whether she was asked out and was never interested in any boys she met so it didn't bother her. </p>
<p>Alex was popular and Gigi saw jealousy in the other girls' eyes when he asked her on a date in the middle of the cafeteria. Gigi agreed to the date, telling herself this was how it was supposed to be even though she didn't actually like Alex. </p>
<p>It was funny then that after agreeing to date Alex Gigi found she couldn't keep her eyes off Jaida.</p>
<p>She found herself staring at Jaida fingers when they were in the cafeteria. She would sneak glances at her in the classes they shared. When she went to Jaida's games she only stared at the jersey that read HALL on the back. Every time Alex touched or kissed her all she could think about was Jaida.</p><hr/>
<p>“You had a crush on her?”</p>
<p>Gigi almost forgets she's talking to Crystal and turns to her in surprise when Crystal interrupts her. Crystal looks at her eagerly and Gigi turns away again.</p>
<p>“I don't know,” she admits.</p>
<p>“It sounds like you did,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“I was attracted to her, but,” Gigi pauses, “I'll just finish the story.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sorry,” Crystal says sheepishly.</p><hr/>
<p>Despite not being able to get Jaida out of her head, Gigi didn't make a move. Even as she turned down spending time with Alex in favor of hanging out with Jaida. Even as they started sitting closer to each other when they'd watch TV at Gigi's house or shared Gigi's bed while doing homework.</p>
<p>It was only a matter of time before it broke. Which it did at the beginning of senior year.</p>
<p>It was at a homecoming party. Gigi slipped away from Alex after a couple of drinks, finding Jaida and grabbing her wrist to pull her to the bathroom.</p>
<p>Tipsy, Gigi giggled out something about Jaida saving her so she wouldn't have to go home with Alex that night.</p>
<p>Jaida, also tipsy, put her hands on her arms and said something about spending time with her boyfriend for once.</p>
<p>Gigi didn't remember the night super well but she remembered what she said next exactly.</p>
<p>“I don't want to be with him, I want to be with you.”</p>
<p>It wasn't even that she meant it like <em>that</em>. Still the message was received and they stared at each other for just a second before Jaida had her hands on her face and was kissing her.</p>
<p>She didn't remember exactly what they did, just how warm Jaida was in front of her, the edge of the sink pressing hard into her lower back and how she couldn't stop her hands from wandering lower until they were on the edge of Jaida's jeans.</p>
<p>And a feeling like being splashed with icy water when the click of the door opening registered to her ears. </p>
<p>Jaida and Gigi pulled away from each other as fast as possible, but the damage was done. </p>
<p>Gigi stormed out of the bathroom and out of the party, completely ignoring Jaida. She knew gossip traveled fast and didn't want to be around to see everyone find out what happened.</p>
<p>Alex had driven her to the party so she walked the two blocks home, ignoring her phone as it exploded with notifications in her pocket.</p>
<p>She did finally look at her phone when she got home. Of course the first message was from Alex demanding an explanation. She didn't answer it. She didn't answer any of the texts from friends asking what was going on. </p>
<p>Jaida didn't text her.</p>
<p>Gigi didn't know what to expect when she went back to school the next Monday, but that doesn't mean she was surprised that she was now the most hated person in school. </p>
<p>Alex spread around the details of their sex life, not that there was much because Gigi didn't like having sex with him so the biggest take away from that was that she was frigid. All her old friends mocked her or talked about her behind her back. She was a bitch, she was dumb, she was fake. Every contact in her phone made sure to text her about how much they always hated her and then never talked to her again. Someone “accidentally” got black paint in her platinum blonde hair during art class. </p>
<p>She ignored them all, head held high, hair now dyed black.</p>
<p>It didn't stop the whispers, she just got “heartless” tacked on to the slew of adjectives used to describe her, and they continued for the rest of the school year. </p>
<p>She never talked to Jaida again either. They both avoided each other like the plague. </p>
<p>Jaida ended up in a better position than Gigi. Her whole basketball team stood by her, the teachers liked her. No one whispered about her like they did for Gigi. </p>
<p>She threw out the acceptance letter she got from her first choice college, the one she and Jaida talked about attending together and the one a lot of her classmates would be going to, and worked her ass off the rest of the year to get accepted into a university close to her dad's house, far from her current life. </p><hr/>
<p>“Honestly what pisses me off about the whole thing most is that if Jaida and I just started making out in front of everyone all the guys would have been going on about how hot it was and it wouldn't have been an issue. It was the fact that it was private that turned it into a thing,” Gigi sighs heavily, “That moment isn't what caused everything though, not that I cheated, not that I was kissing a girl.”</p>
<p>“Everyone always secretly hates the pretty one,” Crystal offers quietly.</p>
<p>Gigi shakes her head. “Jaida was, is absolutely gorgeous too but what happened to me didn't happen to her. I was a bitch. I didn't make connections with anyone, so when they got an excuse to hate me they did.”</p>
<p>Crystal puts a hand on her shoulder. “You didn't deserve that Gigi. I'm sorry it didn't work out with Jaida too.”</p>
<p>Gigi lets out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Want to know something? It didn't even bother me. I missed having Jaida as a friend, but I never thought about her romantically or sexually again. I really am a heartless bitch, huh?”</p>
<p>Crystal pushes her shoulder so Gigi turns to face her. “You're not,” her voice is edging on desperate, “Feelings and shit are complicated and being scared and hurt doesn't help make them less complicated. I'm sure you had a lot of feelings for Jaida even if you didn't know how to describe them or what they meant.”</p>
<p>Gigi wants to tell Crystal she's wrong, but she knows it will upset Crystal more and doesn't want to do that.</p>
<p>“Take me home?” Gigi asks instead. The sun is gone now and the only light they are afforded is that of the moon and the streetlights surrounding the parking lot.</p>
<p>Crystal's eyes downturn when she doesn't get a response, but doesn't push the subject. “Of course. Jackie and Jan's?”</p>
<p>Gigi quickly shakes her head. “No, I don't...I can't face them right now. Can you take me to my dad's? I can give you directions.”</p>
<p>“I can. Are you sure though? You can crash at my place too if you don't want to go to Jackie and Jan's.”</p>
<p>“No, my dad's house is fine.”</p>
<p>“Hey, Gigi?” Crystal says as they both stand to go back in the car, “Thanks for sharing your story with me. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.”</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't really think of it that way. More like she dumped her problems on Crystal. “Well, thanks for listening,” she says with a shrug. She knows that's the only response Crystal will accept.</p>
<p>They get into the car and Crystal gestures to the CD case again.</p>
<p>“Put on whatever you want,” Gigi says, sliding down in her seat. She really doesn't care about music right now.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal said with a little reluctance. She flips through the case and takes a CD out, putting it in the player. Gigi doesn't pay attention to what it is.</p>
<p>“Can I roll the window down?” Gigi asks as Crystal pulls out of the parking lot.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure.”</p>
<p>Gigi presses the button to lower the window until it's all the way down. She closes her eyes and leans her head against the side of the car, letting the warm summer breeze hit her face.</p>
<p>
  <em>I don't want to be part of the problem</em><br/>
<em>I try so hard to get roughed up</em>
</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't know the song, but tries to pay attention to that instead of her own thoughts.</p>
<p>“So, not that I think you had to or anything, but you didn't say anything about liking girls when I mentioned I did?” Crystal asks, curious. </p>
<p>At least talking to Crystal also distracts her from her thoughts.</p>
<p>
  <em>But then there's you telling me I can</em><br/>
<em>Then there's you screaming say something</em>
</p>
<p>“I'm not used to talking about it, even to myself,” Gigi says, “I was never interested in guys. I'm sure I could reach into the back of my mind and find some explanation about how I looked at the fashion models in magazines too long, but honestly even after Jaida I never stopped and considered that I'm a lesbian.”</p>
<p>“You're not bi?” Crystal questions.</p>
<p>
  <em>There I am in the morning</em><br/>
<em>I don't like what I see</em>
</p>
<p>“Nope,” Gigi says with a pop of her lip.</p>
<p>“Oh, I just assumed because you said you had sex with your ex-boyfriend? I shouldn't assume though. Sorry. Sexuality is complicated.”</p>
<p>“It is, but in my case I did hate it. Only happened like twice since I was pretty good at avoiding any situation where it might happen or talking my way out of it.”</p>
<p>
  <em>How can they ask why I feel so angry</em><br/>
<em>Do you see my problem if I never explain it</em>
</p>
<p>Crystal hits the breaks a little harder than necessary at a red light and they both lurch forward slightly. Gigi looks over and notices Crystal's white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. </p>
<p>“Did he...?” Crystal can't seem to finish the question, but Gigi knows what it is.</p>
<p>“I never said no,” she says dryly.</p>
<p>“But did you say yes?”</p>
<p>
  <em>I want the ocean right now</em><br/>
<em>I want the ocean right now</em><br/>
<em>I get so jealous that I can't even work</em><br/>
<em>I get so jealous that I can't even work</em>
</p>
<p>“It doesn't matter,” Gigi finally says.</p>
<p>Gigi can tell Crystal disagrees, but she doesn't say anything. </p>
<p>
  <em>There I am in the morning</em><br/>
<em>I don't like what I see</em><br/>
<em>There I am in the morning</em><br/>
<em>I don't like what I see</em>
</p>
<p>Gigi glares at the radio as the song finally ends. </p>
<p>“<em>Stupid song</em>,” she thinks, then goes back to looking out the window.</p>
<p>“Um, where am I going again?” Crystal asks after a moment.</p>
<p>“My dad's is a couple blocks from the store so just pretend you're going there,” Gigi says, “I'll direct you when we get close.”</p>
<p>“Got it,” Crystal says with a nod.</p>
<p>The rest of the drive is silent except for the sound of the wind rushing through the open window and the CD Crystal put in the player. Gigi doesn't know the artist on the CD, but she does kind of like it. She doesn't ask Crystal about it though.</p>
<p>“Turn left here,” Gigi finally says as they near the small, fancy suburb her dad lives in.</p>
<p>Crystal hums in acknowledgment and turns into the suburb. “Nice place,” she says conversationally.</p>
<p>“I like my mom's house more,” Gigi admits.</p>
<p>“I can imagine.”</p>
<p>“Turn here. It's the fourth house on the left.”</p>
<p>Crystal drives down the street until she reaches the house Gigi pointed out. Crystal pulls into the driveway, but Gigi doesn't move to leave the car.</p>
<p>The house is dark. Everyone is probably asleep by now since it's almost midnight.</p>
<p>“It sounds like you've had a stressful year or so. I hope I didn't make it any worse,” Crystal offers.</p>
<p>“No, I...appreciate your support,” Gigi says and it's the truth. Having someone like Crystal who listens to her without judgment is nice.</p>
<p>“That's what friends are for!” Crystal says with a grin.</p>
<p>Yes, friends.</p>
<p>Gigi relaxes even though she didn't realize she was tense.</p>
<p>After a moment's consideration Gigi thinks this is a good opportunity to lay out where they stand. They are just friends, so if she just lays it all out they can laugh about it and move on.</p>
<p>“I'm glad we're friends. I wasn't sure what would happen since Jan was convinced you had a crush on me.”</p>
<p>Crystal's smile drops and Gigi regrets every decision in her life that has lead up to this moment.</p>
<p>Crystal starts playing with some of her rings nervously, looking down at her hands.</p>
<p>“You don't need to play dumb,” she says and then looks up.</p>
<p>Gigi could swear her heart stops.</p>
<p>Fuck, fuck, <em>fuck</em> she's so stupid. </p>
<p>She was so sure Crystal couldn't like her, especially right now. She should have just not said anything.</p>
<p>“I don't mean to make things complicated or anything,” Crystal continues, “I just can't lie to you about it. I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore or don't want to be part of my art project. But...if there's a chance you feel the same, um, this is your permission to jump. If that's what you're looking for.”</p>
<p>Crystal looks at her with eyes full of trepidation and hope. And Gigi, well, she's selfish so she might as well take the opportunity to do the one thing she wants before she lets Crystal down.</p>
<p>Gigi reaches out and puts a hand on Crystal cheek, pulling her closer and Crystal follows easily, leaning over the car's middle console. </p>
<p>Their lips meet and Gigi can feel Crystal's lips quirk up. Gigi tilts her head and deepens the kiss to force the smile from Crystal's lips. Crystal hums against her lips and kisses her back way too good. </p>
<p>Gigi kisses her a couple more times and then pulls away. The look on Crystal's face is disgustingly happy and it makes Gigi feel like shit.</p>
<p>Gigi keeps her hand on Crystal's cheek and looks her in the eye. “I'll hurt you,” she says. She hopes the look she's giving Crystal makes her realize how much she means it.</p>
<p>Crystal's eyes soften and she reaches up to take the hand Gigi has on her cheek, threading their fingers together. “A lot of things hurt,” she says, “Since you're so worried about it I'm not confident you'll be one of them. But if you are? I'll live. And if I hurt you, which I'd be stupid to do for the record, you'll live too. I don't want fear to be the reason we don't try.”</p>
<p>Gigi pulls away, forcing their hands apart. “Crystal, I'm...I'm like him,” she throws her arm out fiercely towards the house in front of them, “I went out with Alex because I thought I was supposed to. Just like how he does everything because it's what you're supposed to do. I got over Jaida in like a day. I don't even know if I could call what I felt for her or what I feel for you now a crush. I don't know what love feels like! I don't know if I'm even capable of it! I could just be like him or heartless like they all said I was.”</p>
<p>Gigi finally stops to breathe. Crystal still doesn't look discouraged which Gigi doesn't get.</p>
<p>“I don't think that's true,” Crystal says, slowly reaching out to touch Gigi's forearm, “And if you give me a chance I'll try to show you.”</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't pull away from Crystal's touch. </p>
<p>“How can you think it's not true?" she asks.</p>
<p>"Because you fixed my dress when you found out it was from my mom? Because you're helping me with a silly summer art project that I asked for your help with by admitting I think you're the prettiest person in the world? Because of a million little things I haven't even gotten the pleasure to experience yet?"</p>
<p>"And that makes it worth a shot?"</p>
<p>"With a girl that lights up when she talks about fashion or clothes or her mom and giggles at the stupid jokes on Gilmore Girls and definitely won't let me get away with making an ugly painting of her and also eats probably too much mint chocolate chip ice cream? Yeah."</p>
<p>Gigi's face feels like it's on fire. "And if I just stop feeling anything for you one day? Or it gets difficult and I just give up?"</p>
<p>"I'm not saying it won't hurt, but if it doesn't work out we'll both move on. That's just how life goes," Crystal's hand moves down her forearm to hold her hand again.</p>
<p>Gigi has to concede what Crystal is saying makes sense. She just has to take a leap. One she never has before.</p>
<p>“It doesn't have to be serious either. I'm not proposing or anything,” Crystal giggles, “We can just, go on a date?”</p>
<p>“A date?” Gigi says unable to contain a short laugh. It sounds so silly and frivolous the way Crystal says it. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Crystal nods enthusiastically, “I know this really good Mexican place. We can go there if you want. Monday evening?”</p>
<p>Gigi never jumped off a seven foot high wall before Crystal either.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Gigi agrees.</p>
<p>"Great!" Crystal is beaming at her again, "How about I pick you up tomorrow and take you to work? You can't avoid the other girls forever you know.”</p>
<p>Gigi groans, suddenly remembering how she got here. “Oh god, don't remind me.”</p>
<p>“It'll be fine. I've seen bigger fits from Heidi before,” Crystal encourages.</p>
<p>“Really?” Gigi asks. The thought of Heidi yelling in her soft voice is actually kind of amusing.</p>
<p>“You'd be surprised,” Crystal says, “So, I guess I should say good night.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess,” Gigi says. </p>
<p>She really wants to kiss Crystal again though.</p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gigi breathes, glad Crystal has more courage than her, “Sorry I didn't ask you before.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I didn't mind,” Crystal says with a smirk. She leans in and kisses Gigi's lips.</p>
<p>It's just a peck which is way too short, but Gigi's not about to push her luck now.</p>
<p>“Night,” Gigi says, finally grabbing the door handle.</p>
<p>“Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Gigi gets out of the car and goes to the front door, unlocking it with the key fished from her pocket.</p>
<p>Crystal doesn't drive off until she shuts the door behind her. Gigi leans against the door, standing for a minute in the dark quiet of the house and thinks how silly it is that she's actually kind of excited.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-The song Crystal didn't want Gigi to listen to was Drive by Melissa Ferrick lol<br/>-The lyrics/song Gigi didn't know was So Jealous by Tegan and Sara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Girl's a Straight Up Hustler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos and bookmarks! You guys make me so emotional you don't even know.<br/>2. So despite having two days off work I just started the next chapter today so I'm still flying by the seat of my pants. As always I'll try my best to update once a week.<br/>3. We're switching gears so this is a transition chapter which means it's mostly shenanigans and not very plot heavy. But Crystal and Gigi are cute so you can't be mad at me!<br/>4. Chapter title is from The Girl's a Straight Up Hustler by All Time Low</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As much as she may not want to admit it to herself, Gigi comes downstairs in the morning with a certain bounce to her step.</p>
<p>She goes into the kitchen where Samantha is making breakfast.</p>
<p>“Oh, good morning Gigi!” Samantha says when she sees her, “I thought I heard you come in last night.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Sorry, I didn't wake you up did I?” Gigi asks, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket on the kitchen island.</p>
<p>“Oh no honey, I was awake,” Samantha assures her, “Would you like some breakfast? I'm making pancakes.”</p>
<p>“Ah, no thanks. My ride should be here soon,” Gigi says, then takes a bite of her apple.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Samantha says, going back to flipping the pancakes.</p>
<p>Gigi is content just leaning against the island, eating her apple in silence except for the sizzle of the griddle.</p>
<p>“Mom is breakfast ready?” Kevin asks, coming into the kitchen. He seems to pause when he sees Gigi hanging out in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Almost dear. You want to have a seat at the table?” Samantha says, looking over at her son.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Kevin eyes Gigi as he goes to sit at the dining table.</p>
<p>Gigi can't help but smirk to herself. Sure it's rare that she is out in the open at the house, but is the look really necessary?</p>
<p>There's movement out of the corner of Gigi's eye and she looks out the front window to see Crystal's car pulling into the driveway.</p>
<p>“My ride's here,” she announces.</p>
<p>“Have a nice day, Gigi,” Samantha says, putting some pancakes on a plate.</p>
<p>“You too,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>As she leaves the kitchen she hears Kevin ask “what's with her?” and Gigi laughs a bit to herself because she really doesn't know.</p>
<p>“Morning!” Crystal says cheerfully when Gigi opens the car door and gets in.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Gigi says. She's hoping Crystal will kiss her again, but the other girl immediately shifts the car into reverse and starts driving.</p>
<p>“I texted Jackie last night to tell her I took you home and you'd be coming in today,” Crystal says after a minute.</p>
<p>“So I can't get out of it,” Gigi surmises.</p>
<p>“Nope.”</p>
<p>They hit a red light so Crystal turns to her with a grin. She reaches out and pushes some hair behind Gigi's ear.</p>
<p>Gigi leans forward slightly, but the light turns green and Crystal turns to the road again.</p>
<p>Crystal crosses the intersection and turns into the parking lot behind the parlor. </p>
<p>“You want me to come in with you?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“I don't really want to add Jan freaking out about us coming in together to the awkwardness that I'm about to experience,” Gigi admits.</p>
<p>Crystal laughs. “Well, that's fine too. I probably won't be in today for my fix, so I'll see you Monday evening for our date?”</p>
<p>“Oh, you remembered,” Gigi remarks, trying not to appear too annoyed that Crystal didn't mention it or, more importantly, kiss her until now.</p>
<p>“Of course!” Crystal's eyes widen, “You still want to right?”</p>
<p>“I do,” Gigi assures her. </p>
<p>Gigi considers how she tried yesterday to persuade Crystal that they shouldn't even attempt a relationship. Of course Crystal isn't just going to kiss her. </p>
<p>“I guess I'll see you Monday,” Gigi says. She leans forward lightning quick and kisses Crystal on the cheek before rushing out the door.</p>
<p>Gigi sees Crystal sitting with her hand on her cheek and looking pleased as she hurries off. She rolls her eyes at both of them.</p>
<p>“<em>God, this is all so juvenile</em>,” she thinks.</p>
<p>Still annoyed at her own behavior, Gigi casually enters the ice cream parlor not even thinking about how she left it yesterday.</p>
<p>At least not until she meets eyes with Jackie and Jan who are staring back at her.</p>
<p>It's all so awkward and Gigi hates awkward, but she needs to suck it up for once and talk about it.</p>
<p>“Jackie can I talk to you?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course,” Jackie says.</p>
<p>Gigi goes behind the counter and they go into the back room. Jan pouts, clearly wanting to be involved, but doesn't say anything.</p>
<p>So, um, I'm sorry. About my outburst,” Gigi says as soon as the door closes behind them. </p>
<p>Jackie pulls her into a hug which surprises Gigi, but she still returns it if a bit reluctantly.</p>
<p>“Oh, Gigi,” Jackie says, “It's okay. I'm sorry I wasn't careful with my words or more sensitive to your feelings.”</p>
<p>“It's okay Jackie, really,” Gigi assures. She pats the other girl's back, hoping it will get Jackie to release her.</p>
<p>Jackie pulls away but keeps her hands on Gigi's arms. “Crystal made sure you were safe?”</p>
<p>Gigi can imagine herself getting mad about this line of questioning just yesterday, but she can see the motherly look in Jackie's eyes and knows she doesn't mean anything by it but concern.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gigi says, and then after a second's hesitation, “Is that all she said?”</p>
<p>Jackie finally lets go of Gigi. “Um, when she followed you out she said she would look after you. Then last night she texted me and said she brought you home and would pick you up tomorrow and bring you here if you want to know exactly what happened. Why?”</p>
<p>Of course Crystal didn't mention their date. It would be weird if she did, but it still warms Gigi inside that Crystal kept it between them so Gigi could choose if she would tell Jackie or not.</p>
<p>“Um,” Gigi pauses.</p>
<p>She's not sure she wants to tell Jackie about the date, but at the same time she can't see how she would be able to keep it a secret.</p>
<p>“Crystal and I are going on a date,” she finally rushes out.</p>
<p>It takes a minute for Jackie to process what she said, but when she does she actually looks more unsure than Gigi expected.</p>
<p>“Are you sure about it?” she asks in that mothering tone.</p>
<p>Gigi shrugs. “I warned her and she still wanted to go out so.”</p>
<p>Jackie looks confused. “Warned her?”</p>
<p>“I just said it would be a bad idea to have feelings for me.”</p>
<p>Jackie smiles slightly. “If that's even true,” she starts, running a hand through Gigi's hair, “It's not the kind of thing that will deter Crystal, trust me.”</p>
<p>“I kind of figured that out.”</p>
<p>“I'm proud you're taking a chance,” Jackie says, “I'm excited for you.”</p>
<p>“Me too honestly,” Gigi admits, “I'm just not confident.”</p>
<p>“That's okay,” Jackie pulls her into another hug that Gigi reluctantly allows.</p>
<p>“Ah,” Jackie says after a moment of silence.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Jan.”</p>
<p>Gigi groans and buries her head in the crook of Jackie's neck and shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jackie lets Gigi keep the date a secret from Jan until the day of. She's anxious enough as it is without Jan breathing down her neck.</p>
<p>But the truth can't be hidden forever. Especially when Gigi disappears upstairs when they get back from the shop.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Jan asks, peeking into Gigi's room where she is rummaging through her clothes for something that she feels comfortable presenting to Crystal, “We're just reheating leftovers so dinner will be done in a minute.”</p>
<p>Gigi closes her eyes, resting her hands on the dresser. She's not looking forward to how this is about to go.</p>
<p>“I'm going to dinner with Crystal,” she says.</p>
<p>There's a pause that's a bit longer than Gigi expects and then Jan is shrieking. Gigi actually flinches at the volume.</p>
<p>“Janet!” Jackie yells from downstairs.</p>
<p>Gigi can hear Jackie coming up the stairs now that Jan's shrieking has stopped.</p>
<p>Gigi finally turns to look and Jan is jumping up and down while Jackie stands with her hands on her hips.</p>
<p>“Jan, no shrieking. The neighbors are going to think someone is getting murdered. Again,” Jackie scolds.</p>
<p>“But Gigi and Crystal are going on a <em>date</em>,” Jan says, still bouncing in excitement.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Jackie says slowly. If she's trying to hide that she already knew she's not doing a good job.</p>
<p>Jan stops bouncing and gasps. “You knew! You bitch,” Jan playfully hits Jackie, “How could you not tell me?”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes at them and goes back to sifting through her clothes, regretting that she only brought jeans, shorts, t-shirts, and tank tops. How was she supposed to know she was going to be going on a date while she was here? She was planning on living in a room in her dad's house for three months.</p>
<p>“Gigi is nervous enough about it without you hovering,” Gigi hears Jackie say.</p>
<p>“As she should be! She clearly has no clothes,” Jan is at Gigi's side in an instant, grabbing her arm and dragging her away from the dresser, “Come with me Gigi. I'll find something for you to wear.”</p>
<p>Gigi gives Jackie a pleading look but Jackie just shrugs.</p>
<p>“Jan, I don't really look good in purple,” Gigi says as she dragged into Jan's room.</p>
<p>“Hey, I have clothes that aren't purple,” Jan says, letting go of Gigi to open her closet door, “Here, this is black so it should suit your tastes.”</p>
<p>Jan hands her a short, tight dress with a halter neck and Gigi has to admit it's really nice. The fit however might be a problem.</p>
<p>“I'll try it on but I'm not sure,” Gigi says, taking the dress.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Jan asks.</p>
<p>“You'll see,” Gigi says and walks off to the bathroom.</p>
<p>Gigi reappears a minute later to Jackie and Jan sitting on Jan's bed, ready to evaluate.</p>
<p>Gigi holds out her hands helplessly. Hopefully Jan can see that the dress does not fit as well or look as good on her as it would on Jan with her fuller figure.</p>
<p>“It does look a little different, but I can't see why,” Jan says, standing to circle Gigi and inspect it further.</p>
<p>“Jan, I have no tits,” Gigi explains, “It's baggy in the front and you don't want baggy with this kind of outfit.”</p>
<p>“Then we'll stuff your bra,” Jan says, throwing up her hands like she just came up with a brilliant solution.</p>
<p>“Jan,” Jackie says from the bed, “Crystal will notice if Gigi stuffs her bra. She's not some dumb guy.”</p>
<p>“Do you have anything else?” Gigi asks, “Not purple.”</p>
<p>Jan hums and goes back into her closet. “I might have something.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I have something,” Jackie says, standing up.</p>
<p>“Your clothes are too modest,” Jan says.</p>
<p>“They are not,” Jackie says, hands on hips.</p>
<p>“I don't think either of your clothes will fit me right and I don't have time to go to the store or a sewing machine. I should just cancel,” Gigi says. She can feel herself beginning to panic.</p>
<p>“If you cancel I will kick you out of this house!” Jan says, still halfway in the closet, “Do you know how long I have been waiting for this moment?”</p>
<p>“A month?” Gigi deadpans.</p>
<p>Jan shrieks again, clearly ignoring Gigi's comment, and reappears from the closet with a dress in hand. This dress is also black with a halter neck, but it has an empire waistline and there's a cutout in between the breasts which will help make up for the fact that she has no tits.</p>
<p>“This might be perfect,” Gigi admits taking the dress.</p>
<p>Jan squeals and jumps, clapping her hands. “Go put it on!”</p>
<p>Gigi goes back into the bathroom and switches dresses. The outfit is still a bit big for her but it's nothing a few safety pins won't fix.</p>
<p>“You guys have safety pins?” Gigi asks as she comes back into Jan's room.</p>
<p>“I have some,” Jackie says, leaving for her room.</p>
<p>“You look so pretty,” Jan gushes, “Your date is going to be magical.”</p>
<p>Gigi frowns slightly as Jan goes back into the closet muttering something about shoes. Magical? Doubtful. But hopefully it will be fun.</p>
<p>Jackie comes back and helps Gigi bunch some of the dress fabric so it fits her better, using the safety pins to keep the fabric in place. </p>
<p>Jan comes back out and gives Gigi some strappy heels that actually fit really well. </p>
<p>“You look ready for a hot date,” Jackie says as she and Jan step back to admire their work.</p>
<p>“Well, we'll see how hot it gets,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Gigi,” Jackie says in a tone that's a bit scolding but her smile betrays her.</p>
<p>Jan goes and busies herself in the closet again, but not before Gigi sees her red face. Luckily for Jan, Gigi isn't the teasing type so she doesn't say anything.</p>
<p>“Crystal will probably be here any minute,” Gigi says. </p>
<p>“It's like a fairy tale isn't it Jackie?” Gigi hears Jan says as she exits Jan's room for the bathroom one for time to make sure she's ready.</p>
<p>Gigi frowns as she closes the door behind her. </p>
<p>First magic and now fairy tales? Gigi isn't even sure she can fall in love and Jan's talking about fairy tales. It's kind of ridiculous. </p>
<p>Gigi checks herself in the mirror one more time to make sure her makeup looks good and the dress is fitting right. </p>
<p>She goes downstairs to wait for Crystal and hears Jackie and Jan in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Jan, let's not do the fairy tale thing in front of Gigi,” Jackie is saying.</p>
<p>“It's not just a 'thing' Jackie, it's love!”</p>
<p>Gigi can tell Jan is pouting.</p>
<p>“Don't talk about love either.”</p>
<p>“Since when are you and Gigi so close? You sound like you know something I don't.”</p>
<p>“Because I do.”</p>
<p>“No fair! I'm going to get jealous,” Jan's voice is teasing.</p>
<p>“Gigi doesn't like people that come on strong so maybe work on that first and she'll open up more.”</p>
<p>“Hey, I didn't say I was jealous of you.”</p>
<p>There's a pause that has Gigi deciding she'll hide in the hallway until Crystal gets here instead of attempting to enter that conversation.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Jan says, “I'm sorry. I know you don't like being teased.”</p>
<p>“I would hope so. However will you make it if I ever get a girlfriend if you're getting jealous of Gigi?”</p>
<p>“Don't be silly. I could never be jealous of someone who makes you happy.”</p>
<p>“You're the one who is being silly,” Jackie says, “Me too though.”</p>
<p>Crystal's car pulls into the driveway and Gigi opens the door, shouting that she's leaving behind her.</p>
<p>Crystal is getting out of the car, probably not expecting Gigi to run out as soon as she pulled up.</p>
<p>Gigi slows her steps when she sees Crystal in another band shirt tucked into a short black skirt, fishnets, and boots. </p>
<p>Crystal sees her and she turns and mutters something to herself and turns back around.</p>
<p>“Hey, sorry I didn't realize we were going to be formal,” she says.</p>
<p>“This isn't formal,” Gigi assures her, stopping to stand in front of Crystal, “Plus I, uh, like your outfit.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I might have noticed a slight difference in reaction the second time we met when I was dressed kind of like this,” Crystal giggles. </p>
<p>She looks over Gigi's shoulder and waves. Gigi turns and sees Jackie and Jan peeking out the front door at them. Jan waves back, excited.</p>
<p>“You ready to go?” Crystal asks, rocking on her feet and clearly as excited as Jan is.</p>
<p>Gigi gives an affirmative and they both get in the car, Jackie and Jan still watching as Crystal drives off.</p>
<p>“Where are we going? You said a Mexican place?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it's this little hole-in-the-wall I found,” Crystal says, “It's really good.”</p>
<p>They don't talk much the couple minutes it takes to reach the restaurant. Crystal was right though, it is a hole in the wall, tucked in between an electronics store and a Chinese take out place in a strip mall. </p>
<p>“This place is tiny,” Gigi notes as she follows Crystal to a corner table.</p>
<p>“That's how you know it's good,” Crystal says as she takes a seat, “I knew I had to hunt down a good Mexican place when I moved here and the first place you check for that is strip malls.”</p>
<p>A waitress stops by and they both order a soda and Crystal orders a plate of nachos to share.</p>
<p>“Why did you have to find a Mexican place?” Gigi asks once the waitress is gone.</p>
<p>“I'm half-Mexican on my mom's side, so she made a lot of Mexican food for us when I was growing up. And when I moved out here for college I figured I'm not going to get any homemade food from my mom for a while, but I can still have some authentic Mexican food if I found the right place.”</p>
<p>“Not getting homemade food in a while because you moved or...?”</p>
<p>“Because my parents didn't want to speak to me,” Crystal says with a grimace.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sorry,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>The waitress returns with their drinks and nachos and both girls thank her.</p>
<p>“It's no problem,” Crystal says once they are alone again, “I've had a year to come to terms with them not being supportive and like I said we're kind of talking again so things are looking up.”</p>
<p>Gigi nods and takes a chip from the plate, one with lots of meat and cheese and salsa on it.</p>
<p>“Wow, this is really good,” she says.</p>
<p>“I'm glad you like it,” Crystal says, taking a chip of her own.</p>
<p>They chat about not much of anything, Crystal art, Gigi's sewing, until the plate of nachos is empty.</p>
<p>“How hungry are you?” Crystal asks, looking down at the plate.</p>
<p>“Not very,” Gigi admits.</p>
<p>“How about we go right to dessert?” Crystal asks, “Not that I want to deprive you of a main course, but their fried ice cream is excellent and I really want you to try some.”</p>
<p>“Sure, there's always next time to try a main dish,” Gigi reasons.</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't even realize she was implying another date until she sees Crystal blushing and looking pleased as she flags down the waitress.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite being stuffed full of nachos and ice cream Crystal talks Gigi into driving a couple minutes down the road to the beach. Crystal is wearing fishnets so they can't go for a walk, but they sit on the hood of Crystal car and watch the sun set beneath the horizon.</p>
<p>“Maybe it's just me, but we watch the sunset a lot,” Gigi notes.</p>
<p>“Well, we're out in the evenings a lot,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>Crystal puts her hand over Gigi's and Gigi turns to look at where their hands touch.</p>
<p>“Is this okay?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>Gigi nods.</p>
<p>They lapse into silence, Crystal tracing patterns on her hand with her finger.</p>
<p>Gigi wants to kiss Crystal. A lot.</p>
<p>But she keeps thinking about Jaida. One make out with her and Gigi never thought about her like that again. What if the same thing happened with Crystal? Then again, if she was going to stop feeling whatever she's feeling for Crystal it might as well be on the first date. Maybe it will hurt Crystal less.</p>
<p>“You ready to go?” Crystal asks once the streetlights come on.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Gigi says slowly.</p>
<p>Crystal gets off the car hood and walks to the driver's side door. Gigi follows her.</p>
<p>Crystal gives her a look. “What?” she asks, “You want to crawl to the passenger's seat from here?”</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't say anything. She grabs Crystal's waist and pulls her into a kiss, leaning herself against the driver's side door.</p>
<p>Crystal doesn't hesitate to kiss back, one hand going to cup Gigi's jaw and the other to her hip. Gigi wraps her arms around Crystal's waist to pull her closer so their bodies are pressed together.</p>
<p>Crystal slides her hand to the back of Gigi's head, threading her fingers through her hair. She tilts Gigi's head so their kisses are deeper. Gigi's hands move up between Crystal's shoulder blades, clutching at the fabric of her t-shirt.</p>
<p>“<em>Why is she such a good kisser? What the fuck?</em>” Gigi wonders.</p>
<p>Gigi shifts her legs a bit, wondering if she tries to wrap her legs around Crystal's waist Crystal will let her. Her brain goes to Crystal hiking her dress up her body, Crystal putting her hands on her ass and lifting her up. Gigi moans into Crystal's mouth and Crystal seems to smirk even though she doesn't even know what is going through Gigi's brain right now.</p>
<p>A car alarm goes off in the distance and they both jump and pull apart.</p>
<p>“Oh wow, I forgot we were outside,” Crystal says with a nervous giggle.</p>
<p>“Me too,” Gigi admits, her breathing a little heavy.</p>
<p>“We should get going,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>Gigi agrees and makes her way around the car into the passenger's seat in a daze.</p>
<p>They drive back in relative silence with the only sound being the Panic! At The Disco album Crystal put in the CD player. </p>
<p>Gigi tries to look anywhere but at Crystal. Her muscles on her thighs are still clenched tight and there's nothing she can do to get them to relax. </p>
<p>After five minutes but what feels like forever Crystal pulls into the driveway of Jackie and Jan's. </p>
<p>“I really enjoyed tonight,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Uh, me too,” Gigi says, finally looking at Crystal again.</p>
<p>“We should do it again sometime.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, just let me know. You know where to find me.”</p>
<p>“That I do,” Crystal says with a laugh.</p>
<p>Crystal reaches across the middle console to put her hand on Gigi's cheek and pull her into one last short kiss.</p>
<p>“Night.”</p>
<p>Crystal pulls away and Gigi starts to follow but stops herself.</p>
<p>“Good night,” she finally says.</p>
<p>Gigi gets out of the car and walks up the walkway to the door. She touches a hand to her cheek and feels it still burning hot. Thankfully it was probably too dark for Crystal to see.</p>
<p>She enters the house and is unsurprised to find that Jackie and Jan are still up, watching television.</p>
<p>“How was your date?” Jan asks in the most teasing tone possible.</p>
<p>“Great,” Gigi says without much thought, bypassing the living room and going upstairs.</p>
<p>“Is something wrong?” Gigi hears Jan ask Jackie.</p>
<p>“I think she's just fine. Give her some alone time,” Jackie says.</p>
<p>Gigi thanks god for Jackie as she closes the bedroom door behind her. She throws herself down on the bed, finally hitching up Jan's fucking dress and sticking a hand down her underwear.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I'd Kill to Fall Asleep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos and bookmarks! You are all angels.<br/>2. So I realized with my current chapter break out I put something in the middle of a chapter that should be the end of a chapter so I had to finagle the layout a bit and this is now going to be 16 chapters.<br/>3. Got a nice head start on the next chapter so the weekly schedule is looking good.<br/>4. Chapter title from I'd Kill to Fall Asleep by New Found Glory</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: Once again feel free to skip if you don't want possible spoilers and you don't think you will be effected. MENTIONS of conversion therapy and general homophobic parent things. Once again, no detail, only mentioned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey.”</p><p>Gigi jumps a little when she hears Crystal's voice as she's doing inventory of the ice cream in the back.</p><p>“Oops, sorry,” Crystal says with a giggle.</p><p>Gigi slaps Crystal's arm as she approaches.</p><p>“You scared me,” she scolds.</p><p>“I said sorry,” Crystal whines, “I was going to wait for you outside but Jan was like “go get her” so...”</p><p>Crystal wraps her arms around Gigi and pulls her close.</p><p>“I got you.”</p><p>“Adorable,” Gigi deadpans. </p><p>Crystal kisses her, undeterred, and Gigi can't help but smile a little. The sappy words might not get to her like Crystal wants but her kisses sure do.</p><p>“I hope you're at least a little hungry or thirsty because we're going to the café again and they will kick you out if you just sit at their outdoor tables and don't order anything. I know from experience.”</p><p>Gigi snorts. “I'm sure I'll come up with something.”</p><p>“Okay, finish up what you're doing and I'll be waiting outside,” Crystal says, giving her one last kiss on the cheek.</p><p>Crystal leaves the backroom and Gigi finishes the inventory still smiling a little to herself.</p><p>Gigi hangs up her apron and comes out from the back where a line is forming in front of the register.</p><p>“Are you sure it's okay for me to leave?” Gigi asks Jackie who is scooping ice cream with practiced ease.</p><p>“The three of us have handled worse before, don't worry about it,” Jackie insists, “Enjoy your date.”</p><p>“Okay. It's not technically a date though,” Gigi corrects.</p><p>“Whatever you say,” Jackie says with a shake of her head.</p><p>Gigi exits the shop to see Crystal leaning against the wall so she's out of the way of the crowd.</p><p>“Ready,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Cool. Let's go.”</p><p>As they start walking to the café a couple doors down Crystal grabs her hand.</p><p>Gigi glances at their hands for a second before she intertwines them, giving Crystal's hand a short squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>Gigi finds herself staring at Crystal's sketchbook as the other girl goes into the café to buy drinks and a snack.</p><p>Despite having had a few of these sessions already Gigi hasn't seen any art from Crystal that wasn't of herself and now that they're dating she finds herself curious about what else Crystal draws.</p><p>“Interested?”</p><p>Gigi's thoughts are interrupted by Crystal putting Gigi's iced tea and a muffin in front of her.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You were staring at my sketchbook. Did you wanna look?” Crystal asks, sitting down in her chair opposite Gigi.</p><p>“Do you mind?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“No, as long as you'll show me some outfits sometime,” Crystal says, “You can look while I eat my muffin.”</p><p>Crystal pushes her sketchbook towards Gigi, taking a pointed bite of her muffin.</p><p>Gigi takes it and flips it open. The first drawing is one of the beach, a view very similar to the one Gigi's been looking at during their sessions with colorful umbrellas and people in bathing suits dotting the landscape.</p><p>“That one was for school,” Crystal says.</p><p>Gigi doesn't understand why Crystal feels the need to make the distinction. At least until she turns the page and sees a drawing of a strange blue genie. Gigi smiles a little at it though. It's weird but it screams Crystal. There are drawings of a lot of different creatures, various kinds of witches, demons, clowns. Some are kind of scary, some are silly, some are pretty, but they are all Crystal. Of course there were also quite a few little sketches of Crystal's little purple cow monster as well.</p><p>“I think some of these outfits would be fun to make actually,” Gigi says</p><p>“Really?” Crystal lights up, “That would be really cool actually.”</p><p>“Well you have some cool ideas here,” Gigi says. She flips to the next page and is shocked to find a drawing of a girl, naked. It's not a sexual drawing or anything, just a drawing of a naked person.</p><p>Crystal sees what drawing Gigi is looking at and her eyes widen. A hand comes out and covers the drawing.</p><p>“Sorry, I don't think you're supposed to see that,” she says, pulling the sketchbook back and flipping it closed, “I forgot that was in there.”</p><p>“Um, who is that?” Gigi asks, equal parts curious and trepidatious .</p><p>“My friend,” Crystal says, “I had a life drawing class last semester and I was super nervous about it so a friend of mine offered to let me draw her for practice to get used to the idea of looking at a naked person and drawing them.”</p><p>“Did you like her?” Gigi can't help asking. It feels so childish, like she's a middle schooler asking her crush if they like someone.</p><p>Crystal laughs though. “Definitely not. If I had a crush on her there's no way that drawing would have gotten done. I'd be way too flustered to actually draw anything.”</p><p>Gigi hums and takes a sip of her iced tea.</p><p>“So, I'll get started if you don't mind?” Crystal asks, opening her sketchbook to a blank page.</p><p>“Sure. What are you doing?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“Just more upper body work,” Crystal says as she begins to sketch away, “Actually I'm probably going to need to do a full body sketch at some point. Clothed of course, not like a figure drawing. But maybe you can come by my apartment sometime for that? Just because it will take longer and it would be more comfortable.”</p><p>Gigi agrees but little does Crystal know she's actually trying not to think too hard about being with Crystal in her apartment, alone.</p><p>Crystal finishes her drawing in a half hour but asks if Gigi stills want to spend time with her which Gigi happily agrees to. </p><p>Perhaps unsurprisingly, Crystal takes her a hundred feet from the café to the beach.</p><p>“You know I'm not from around here, but I feel like there are more places we can go than the beach,” Gigi says as she sinks her feet into the warm sand.</p><p>“Yeah, but I mean look Gigi! It's the ocean!” Crystal opens her arms out towards the body of water in front of them, “There's only two you can look at from this entire country and one of them is right here!”</p><p>“You're not originally from here are you,” Gigi says as they walk closer to the shore.</p><p>“Missouri,” Crystal says, making a face, “I didn't mention that?”</p><p>“I guess not. I kinda assumed you were from close by.”</p><p>“I'm not. But you've been to LA and New York right? So I guess you'd be familiar with both oceans. I guess I can see why it's not as exciting as it is to me.”</p><p>“I don't think there's anything wrong with being excited. I just want to go somewhere other than the beach.”</p><p>“Gigi,” Crystal takes Gigi's arm and turns her so they are face to face, “I really only know the beach and the lesbian bar.”</p><p>They stare at each other for a second before they both burst into laughter.</p><p>Gigi wraps an arm around Crystal and pulls her into a half-hug. “Okay silly, let's walk.”</p><p> </p><p>It's late by the time Gigi arrives back at Jackie and Jan's, but strangely enough there is a second car in the driveway.</p><p>“Whose car is that?” Gigi asks when Crystal pulls into the driveway behind Jackie's car.</p><p>“I don't know,” Crystal says with a frown, “I'm not familiar with any of Jackie and Jan's other friends. Maybe it's Jan's parents?”</p><p>“I hope whoever they are they don't need my room.”</p><p>Crystal laughs. “I'm sure Jackie and Jan won't kick you out. But if they do there's always my place.”</p><p>Crystal shimmies her shoulders at her and Gigi chuckles. </p><p>“You're a real temptress,” Gigi says, leaning over to give Crystal a kiss.</p><p>“Wait until I get you in my lair,” Crystal says, their lips still brushing.</p><p>“What are you going to do with me?” Gigi dares to ask.</p><p>Crystal pulls away a bit and giggles awkwardly.</p><p>“I should go,” she says.</p><p>“Okay,” Gigi says, trying not to pout.</p><p>“Night Geeg,” Crystal says and gives her one last kiss.</p><p>Gigi bids Crystal good night and gets out of the car. Now that Crystal doesn't have most of her attention she finds herself curious about who could be here. Even though she doesn't want to interrupt anything, she knocks on the door.</p><p>Jackie opens the door, looking downcast. Gigi is immediately worried, but Jackie does try to give her a slight smile.</p><p>“Welcome back,” she says, exhaustion in her voice.</p><p>“Hey, who's here?” she asks.</p><p>Jackie sighs but before she can answer Jan's voice comes out from the living room.</p><p>“Gigi come here!” her voice sing-songs.</p><p>Jackie shrugs and turns to go into the living room. Gigi follows and sees Jan sitting on the couch with a man she recognizes from Jan's photos.</p><p>Jan jumps from the couch and comes over to Gigi, pulling her over.</p><p>“Gigi would you believe it?” she says, “Kyle got a week off from training so he came to visit!”</p><p>Jan pulls Gigi over to the couch and Kyle stands as they near.</p><p>“Kyle, this is Gigi. The girl I was telling you about,” Jan says.</p><p>“Hey Gigi, nice to meet you,” Kyle holds out his hand and Gigi hesitantly holds out her own.</p><p>“You too,” Gigi says.</p><p>He doesn't let go of her hand right away and Gigi is shocked when she thinks she sees his eyes flick down her body quickly. Did he check her out?</p><p>Gigi pulls her hand away. She looks over at Jan but she doesn't seem to react so she must not have noticed. Maybe it was in Gigi's head.</p><p>“We got Chinese so that's in the kitchen if you want some,” Jan says.</p><p>“Yeah, I think I'll go make a plate,” Gigi says.</p><p>She goes into the kitchen and Jackie is there washing dishes.</p><p>She feels like she should say something but she really doesn't know what. There probably isn't anything <em>to</em> say.</p><p>“Do you want help?” she settles on.</p><p>Jackie looks at her and shakes her head a bit. “No, go eat. You must be hungry.”</p><p>Gigi makes a plate of orange chicken, rice and chop suey and goes reluctantly back into the living room.</p><p>She sits on the armchair to eat, trying to focus on the television and not Jan and Kyle chatting. Jan tries to get Gigi to engage in the conversation a bit but she only gives short one or two word responses to Jan until she gives up.</p><p>Maybe she's being unfair to both of them, but Gigi's never been a fan of men. Whether it's because of her dad or her short-lived relationship with Alex or some mysterious third option she doesn't know. And sitting here with them is making her uneasy.</p><p>She finishes her food in record time and goes back into the kitchen where Jackie is still scrubbing what Gigi suspects is the same dish as when she got her food.</p><p>“I'll take care of it. Just put it on the counter,” Jackie says.</p><p>“Okay, I'm going to bed,” Gigi says.</p><p>Jackie says good night but she swears she hears Jackie say “don't blame you” under her breath.</p><p>“I'm going to bed,” Gigi says again to Jan as she passes through the living room.</p><p>“Already? Gigi, it's only nine,” Jan says, pouting at her.</p><p>“I'm tired,” Gigi lies.</p><p>“I guess Crystal kept you busy,” Jan says so innocently.</p><p>Considering the only times Gigi has seen Jan flustered was the masturbation talk and when Gigi insinuated things getting hot with Crystal she has to smirk to herself.</p><p>“You don't even know what you're saying,” she says.</p><p>“What?” Jan asks.</p><p>Gigi doesn't answer and leaves the room to go upstairs, Jan undoubtedly pouting behind her.</p><p>Gigi gets into her pajamas and gets into bed, but since she's not actually tired she lays awake in the dark. She wishes she could pick up her cell phone sitting on the nightstand and text Crystal but they never exchanged numbers. That was kind of by Gigi's design, afraid if things don't work out. A mean text from Crystal would probably kill her even if she's not sure Crystal is capable of being mean. </p><p>But alone in the dark like this she only wants to talk to Crystal.</p><p>Gigi doesn't know how much time passes but she's half-asleep when there's a soft knock on her door. </p><p>Gigi is just sitting up when the door opens and Jackie peers into her room, looking different from her normal well-dressed self in a faded Star Trek shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. </p><p>“Hey,” Jackie says, speaking softly into the dark, “Um, usually when Kyle is staying over I crash in here so I don't have to be in the room next to them. Do you mind if I sleep in here with you? It's cool if you don't want to, I can just crash on the couch and if Jan catches me I'll tell her I fell asleep watching TV.”</p><p>Jackie looks like she expects Gigi to decline, but Gigi flips the comforter back so Jackie can slip in.</p><p>“Get in,” she says, voice still a bit groggy from her almost asleep state.</p><p>“Thanks,” Jackie says quietly.</p><p>She gently closes the door behind her and gets in the double bed next to Gigi who covers them with the comforter.</p><p>“I'll explain everything to Crystal later,” Jackie says as their bodies touch in the smallish space, “I'm sure she won't mind.”</p><p>Gigi yawns. “She won't but if she does I'll just say we both slept with you so now we're even,” she jokes.</p><p>Jackie coughs in embarrassment. “She told you about that?”</p><p>“She let it slip.”</p><p>Jackie sighs. “I guess it's not a big deal. I shouldn't be so precious about it. You want any information on her in exchange for letting me crash?”</p><p>Gigi huffs a laugh. “No, thanks.”</p><p>“Yeah, probably better you find out on your own.”</p><p>Gigi doesn't want to get horny with Jackie right here so she settles on saying something rude in a way that's patently Gigi.</p><p>“Is it really that bad over there?” she asks, “Jan doesn't seem like she knows what sex is.”</p><p>“Noise isn't the reason I come over here really. I just like to stay distant,” Jackie says, “And Jan knows what sex is she just doesn't know what female sexuality is. That's a whole other issue though.”</p><p>“Crystal said this once and I didn't think much of it at the time but I'm curious. Why haven't you tried to talk Jan out of this?”</p><p>“What's there to talk her out of?” Jackie asks.</p><p>Gigi's pretty sure Jackie already knows.</p><p>“He just seems...I don't know,” Gigi shrugs.</p><p>“It's not a crime to check out other girls once in a while,” Jackie says.</p><p>So Kyle did check her out Gigi realizes. And he does this to other girls too apparently. At least enough that Jackie noticed.</p><p>“And it wasn't always like this,” Jackie continues, “Don't get me wrong I always hated him but that's because Jan liked him and I was jealous. He was actually really nice at first. I don't know what happened. He just started seeming more detached and I kept catching him looking at other girls when the three of us were out. And I just spent so much time telling myself that I was being a jealous bitch that by the time I might have had a point it was too late. I don't know if I could get Jan to see the problem considering how she is. And honestly I'm scared what it would mean for our friendship if I tried.”</p><p>“You really think this is all worth never meeting Jan at all?” Gigi asks. Not to be mean, she's just curious. She can't imagine ever choosing Jackie's position.</p><p>Jackie rolls on to her side to look at Gigi. “Let me tell you a story,” she says, “I was seventeen and it was the start of my senior year in high school. Despite my thing for Jan I was still a teenager with hormones so there was this girl I was kind of friends-with-benefits with at school. We would write notes back and forth making plans of where and when to meet up, never at my house though because I wasn't an idiot. At least that's what I thought, but one day I left one of our notes in my wastebasket thinking my mom wouldn't actually go through any paper I threw in there. She did.</p><p>“I got home that day and both my parents were waiting for me. They didn't see the point in forcing me into anything since I was almost eighteen so I had two options. One, go to conversion therapy or two, leave. I chose the second one. They gave me two hours to pack up my things and get out and then left. I called Jan in an absolute panic and she said-”</p><p>Jackie's voice, which had been recounting the story with an almost clinical level of detachment, suddenly cracks.</p><p>“She said “You can stay with me. I'll be there in five minutes.” She drove her dad's truck to my house and helped me stuff everything I owned into garbage bags and we were out in an hour. Jan's parents' house only had two rooms so I spent my senior year living on a blow-up mattress in Jan's room. How I still got valedictorian I don't even remember.</p><p>“I was already accepted to the university here and I was still going to live in the dorms even though I suddenly needed income and didn't have any, but Jan's parents found this place and paid the down payment for us and helped with the mortgage in the beginning. Jan still lived at her parents' for her last two years since it was closer to our high school, but she stayed here on weekends and breaks and I'd go there for holidays until she moved in last year when she started university. </p><p>“Anyway, the point is that's why I would always choose to meet Jan. It's not always easy because I'm a dumbass and had to fall in love with her, but if I didn't have Jan I don't know where I'd be. I would be homeless without her. Or maybe I would have gone to conversion therapy because I didn't have someone I knew supported me from the bottom of her heart.”</p><p>Jackie finally falls silent and wipes at the tears that started to fall down. </p><p>Gigi sucks at this sort of thing but she reaches out and touches Jackie's arm. “I'm sorry.”</p><p>“For what?” Jackie asks giving Gigi a small smile.</p><p>“Everything?” </p><p>Jackie chuckles a little. “Thank you honey, but I have it way better than many. I'm fine.”</p><p>“It doesn't matter. That's what Crystal would say,” Gigi says.</p><p>Jackie laughs again. “That she would. She's a sweet one that Crystal.”</p><p>“She is,” Gigi admits. Just the thought of Crystal makes her feel impossibly warm.</p><p>“You know, Jan's had a very stable life. We've always been the best of friends, her parents are loving and kind, and I think because of that she's just had this fairy tale ideal of love and relationships. It's no wonder she is marrying her high school sweetheart and she's always talking about love like it's a magical thing. I always tried to discourage it because I don't think it's healthy. Not that I ever got through to her, clearly. But you know I think you're the opposite of her in that you don't think love is even real, at least not for you. There's got to be a medium in there somewhere that can make us all happy and we all can believe in.”</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>“I like to think I'm trying for the middle road. I don't know what Crystal told you but I don't just go to the bar to get laid.”</p><p>“She didn't make it sound like that, I think,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Yeah, so, I'm trying.”</p><p>“Me too,” Gigi whispers.</p><p>Jackie rubs Gigi's arm soothingly. “I'm glad. You're a good person Gigi.”</p><p>Gigi doesn't know if she's ever heard that.</p><p>“Since you're so nice, I know you didn't want any info but I'll give you a tip on Crystal," Jackie says, leaning in conspiratorially, "She will always take the lead by default but give her the littlest push back and she will melt in your hands and turn into a whimpering mess. So you can pick your poison, so to speak. Night.”</p><p>Jackie turns around to go to sleep leaving Gigi glaring at the ceiling, her thighs clenching against her will.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for your comments, kudos and bookmarks. Just thinking about them makes me teary eyed. Probably because I cried twice yesterday. Once from watching Happiest Season and then because Happiness from the new Taylor Swift album made me think of my dog that passed recently. Also I'm just a mess lmao.<br/>2. Soooo reading some of the comments on the last chapter made me realize y'all might hate me for this one. Please know though that I'm not trying to mess with you guys or anything! This story was planned out before I even started posting and though some things have changed, overall the structure is pretty consistent. What I do I do for a purpose and that's what I think is best for the story.<br/>3. Would you believe chapter 10 is also done?! So I have a buffer again! And chapters will definitely be coming out weekly, hopefully until this is done.<br/>4. Chapter title from Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At The Disco.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi never thought work would be such a relief. But since Jackie let Jan take the week off it's the only time she's free of a completely love-stricken Jan. Gigi doesn't know how Jackie deals with it.</p>
<p>She's considering asking Jackie to just drive her to her dad's for the night to avoid the couple, but an idea comes to her when Crystal and Widow show up shortly after the lunch rush.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Gigi greets Crystal with a smile from the register. As if she even needs to lay it on this thick.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Crystal says back, smiling bright, “The usual?”</p>
<p>“You got it,” Gigi says, taking the cash slipped to her by Crystal.</p>
<p>She grabs a cup and moves down to the freezer with the mint chocolate chip, letting Jackie get Widow for maximum efficiency.</p>
<p>“Is Jan off to be with the fiancé?” Crystal asks as Gigi hands her her ice cream.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gigi rolls her eyes, “Speaking of though, you still want me to come over?”</p>
<p>“Well, I'm never going to <em>not</em> want you over,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Can I sleep over? I just...Jan,” Gigi says, twiddling her fingers.</p>
<p>“Yeah, no problem,” Crystal says and then lets out a short giggle.</p>
<p>“Pick me up at Jackie and Jan's after work?” Gigi asks, “Sorry to make you go the extra way, but I need a change of clothes and stuff.”</p>
<p>“I never mind going the extra way for you,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>Gigi hears Heidi groan behind her and Gigi also rolls her eyes. </p>
<p>“Get out before I change my mind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry I'm ditching you,” Gigi says to Jackie as the other girl drives them home.</p>
<p>“Don't worry about it,” Jackie says, “I've been dealing with the two of them since I was seventeen. I'm used to it.”</p>
<p>Jackie pulls into the driveway and Kyle's car is gone.</p>
<p>“They must be out,” Jackie says.</p>
<p>“Crystal is probably going to be by pretty quick,” Gigi says, getting out of the car, “So I'm going to go get my stuff together.”</p>
<p>She runs up to the door but she still has to wait for Jackie to come and unlock it as the other girl comes more slowly up the walk.</p>
<p>“Excited?” Jackie asks, raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“I guess,” Gigi says, trying to look nonchalant.</p>
<p>Jackie smiles and shakes her head as she unlocks the door.</p>
<p>Gigi ignores her and goes upstairs. She puts a pair of pajamas, a change of clothes, and all the other essentials in her backpack. She zips it and that's when her phone catches her eye.</p>
<p>She opens it even though she knows she's just going to see that unread text from Jaida. She stares at the mail icon for a minute and her finger hovers over the button to open her texts, but she ends up snapping her phone closed and putting it back on the nightstand.</p>
<p>If her mom calls it should be fine if she misses it just once.</p>
<p>She picks up her backpack and goes downstairs. Jackie is in the kitchen making dinner for herself.</p>
<p>Jackie glances at her as she busies herself with the stove.</p>
<p>“Are you and Crystal going to have sex?” Jackie asks.</p>
<p>Gigi sputters a little, shocked that Jackie asked. “I don't know.”</p>
<p>Gigi's definitely been thinking about it, but Crystal usually pulls back a bit when things get too heavy. If Gigi tries will Crystal do that tonight when it's just them in Crystal's apartment? She doesn't know.</p>
<p>“I was just curious since you seemed excited,” Jackie says, shrugging.</p>
<p>Gigi is saved trying to think of a response by a knock at the door.</p>
<p>“That's probably her,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Gigi goes to the front door and opens it. Crystal is there smiling brightly like usual.</p>
<p>“Hey! Hope I didn't get here too quick,” she says.</p>
<p>“No, I just got everything together,” Gigi says, holding up her backpack.</p>
<p>“Let's go then!”</p>
<p>Gigi turns her head behind her. “Jackie, I'm going!”</p>
<p>“Have fun,” Jackie's voice floats in from the kitchen, her voice slightly suggestive.</p>
<p>“Thanks Jackie!” Crystal calls out, completely ignorant to the double-meaning. At least Gigi thinks so.</p>
<p>“So,” Crystal says when they get into her car, “I was thinking we'll just get some fast food for dinner. Is that okay with you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sounds good,” Gigi says distractedly. She turns in her seat, looking for Crystal's CD case in the back.</p>
<p>“What are you doing over there?” Crystal asks as she pulls out of the driveway.</p>
<p>“Looking for something- ah!” Gigi spots the CD case and grabs it. </p>
<p>“Did you want to listen to something?” Crystal asks when she sees Gigi sit back in her seat with the case in hand.</p>
<p>“Just something I've been curious about,” Gigi says, taking out Crystal's “her” CD.</p>
<p>“Oh god,” Crystal says when she sees the CD Gigi puts in. She probably knows where this is going.</p>
<p>Gigi pushes the next track button and the guitar Gigi first heard before it was interrupted by Crystal starts coming through the speakers.</p>
<p>“I didn't realize I piqued your interest so much when I skipped it,” Crystal admits.</p>
<p>“Well you said I didn't want to hear it and I'm pretty sure I do,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>
  <em>If you want this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>If you want this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>If you want this, you're gonna have to ask</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Nicely please</em>
</p>
<p>“Yeah, I do,” Gigi confirms, smirking at the radio.</p>
<p>“So embarrassing,” Crystal whines, “I'm just going to concentrate on the road. Don't look at me.”</p>
<p>Gigi just laughs at Crystal's theatrics.</p>
<p>
  <em>Whatever you want</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'll give it to you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'll give it to you slowly</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'till you're just begging me to hold you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Yeah whatever you want</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Whatever you want</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But you're gonna have to ask me</em>
</p>
<p>Gigi's smirk starts to drop as the song goes on. She knew it was a sex song, of course it was a sex song. She just didn't know listening to a sex song with Crystal would make her think about sex with Crystal. In retrospect she probably should have realized it sooner.</p>
<p>
  <em>Your mouth waters</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Stretched out on my bed</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Your fingers are trembling</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And your heart is heavy and red</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And your head is bent back</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And your back is arched</em>
  <br/>
  <em>My hand in under there</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Holding you up</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'll hold you up </em>
  <br/>
  <em>And drive you all night</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'll hold you up</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And drive you baby 'till you feel the daylight</em>
</p>
<p>“Well we're at McDonald's so I have to turn this down to order,” Crystal says with a nervous giggle. She turns down the volume as she pulls into the drive-thru. “What did you want?”</p>
<p>“Um, chicken nuggets and fries. And a soda,” Gigi says, avoiding Crystal's eyes as much as Crystal is avoiding hers.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal says with a strained lightness. </p>
<p>The car in front of them moves forward and Crystal pulls up to order.</p>
<p>Gigi rests her head in her hand and looks pointedly out the window as Crystal orders and pulls up to the first window. The car is silent except when Crystal talks to the cashier.</p>
<p>“Here can you hold this?” Crystal asks, handing the two paper bags with their food to Gigi.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gigi says, taking the bags and putting them on her lap.</p>
<p>Crystal sticks their drinks in the cup holders and drives off.</p>
<p>It's been a while and the silence is awkward so Gigi turns up the volume on the radio again, mostly expecting the song to be over.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah this has just begun</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Because we haven't even gotten started yet</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I haven't even</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I haven't even tied you up</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I haven't even turned you over</em>
  <br/>
  <em>This is where I want to live</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Right here between your hips</em>
</p>
<p>Gigi's hand reaches out and hits the button to start the next track without really thinking.</p>
<p>Crystal giggles awkwardly. “It's a long song.”</p>
<p>“No kidding,” Gigi mumbles. She puts a hand on her cheek and finds it hot.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I should have tried harder to talk you out of it.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn't have listened,” Gigi admits, “Don't get me wrong, I liked the song...”</p>
<p>“It's a good song,” Crystal agrees, “Just for a different time maybe.”</p>
<p>Crystal pulls into a car port in front of an older looking apartment building.</p>
<p>“Well, we're here!” Crystal says, “Sorry, I forgot to warn you this isn't as nice as Jackie and Jan's place or anything.”</p>
<p>“I know Jackie and Jan's situation isn't exactly common,” Gigi says as they exit the car, Gigi with the food and her backpack on her back and Crystal with the drinks, “This is more what I expected.”</p>
<p>Crystal leads them inside and into a slightly alarming elevator that is a little shaky for Gigi's liking and takes them to the third floor.</p>
<p>“This one is Widow's,” Crystal says, pointing to the second door to the end of the hall, “And this is me.”</p>
<p>Crystal stops in front of the last door and puts one of the drinks down to pick out her house key from her key ring. She unlocks the door and opens it, picking the one drink back up and pushing through. </p>
<p>Gigi follows her, looking with interest around the tiny apartment. And it is tiny, probably only one bedroom, and the living room and kitchen are practically squished together. The walls of the living room are covered in Crystal's art and concert posters for various bands. </p>
<p>As Gigi stares, Crystal walks past her and sits down on a horribly ugly, striped, yellow loveseat.</p>
<p>“Come have a seat,” Crystal says. </p>
<p>She puts their drinks on the coffee table in front of the couch and pushes a closed laptop and tablet to the side so there's room for the food.</p>
<p>Gigi puts the paper bags on the table and her backpack on the floor next to the couch and sits down as Crystal grabs a remote and turns on the TV. This one looks a bit older than even Jackie and Jan's but at least this one has a built-in cabinet on the bottom that Gigi can see contains a DVD player and an assortment of DVDs.</p>
<p>“Is there anything you want to watch?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>The TV was left on the Disney channel when it was turned off and Gigi smiles thinking this must be what Crystal was watching. Kim Possible is on and Gigi can see Crystal's eyes drifting to it which is even more amusing.</p>
<p>“We can keep watching this,” Gigi says, nodding at the television.</p>
<p>“You don't mind?” Crystal asks with a sheepish smile.</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Gigi says, “It's kind of cute.”</p>
<p>Crystal blushes. “Hey, I'm an artist. I'm interested in animation and stuff.”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh,” Gigi says, clearly not believe her, “Let's just eat.”</p>
<p>After they eat as Crystal throws away their trash, Gigi starts fidgeting on the couch. Should she make a move when Crystal sits back down? Should she wait and see if Crystal does?</p>
<p>“Mint?” Crystal is suddenly standing in front of her, holding out a tin of mints. Gigi takes one.</p>
<p>So is Crystal going to make the move then?</p>
<p>“I'll go get my sketchbook then and I can draw a full body sketch? Are you up for that?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>She turns to put the mints on the coffee table and grabs a chair from her small two-person kitchen table, placing it a short distance from the couch Gigi is on. </p>
<p>Oh yeah, the art project. That was the reason Crystal first invited her here.</p>
<p>“Sure?” Gigi says, trying not to sound too disappointed.</p>
<p>“Cool, one second. I'll take this to my room too,” Crystal says, picking up Gigi's backpack and disappearing down the hall.</p>
<p>Gigi crosses her arms and leans back against the couch cushions. Should she just do the sketch like Crystal is planning? Or is there something she could do to make things move more in the direction she wants.</p>
<p>Crystal comes back from her room and puts her sketchbook and pencil case on the chair.</p>
<p>“Let me just move this out of the way so I have a good view,” Crystal says, pushing the coffee table to the side.</p>
<p>Gigi eyes Crystal's sketchbook and an idea forms in her mind that has her cheeks heating up. She's definitely never done something as bold as this before, but...</p>
<p>Crystal walks over to the chair a few feet away and grabs her sketchbook. She's not looking at Gigi as she messes with her pencils. </p>
<p>Gigi stands, takes a breath, and pulls her t-shirt over her head, throwing it over the arm of the loveseat. Crystal isn't even looking at her still, but Gigi feels like she's burning holes into the top of Crystal's head as she reaches behind herself and unhooks her bra. Her bra hitting the floor finally gets Crystal's attention and she looks up and squeaks.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Crystal asks. She holds her sketchbook over her face, but Gigi saw how red her face was before she covered it.</p>
<p>“Y-you,” Gigi curses at herself internally for stuttering, but continues, “You wanted to draw my body right?”</p>
<p>Crystal is peeking at her, but she covers her face again when Gigi's hand goes to the button on her shorts. “I did say I didn't mean for it to be a figure drawing.”</p>
<p>Gigi's hand leaves her shorts and she frowns, a bit discouraged. “So you don't want to?” she asks, sinking back down to the couch.</p>
<p>Crystal giggles nervously. “I did say I could only draw my friend naked because I didn't have feelings for her. I don't think I have the concentration power for this. Besides,”</p>
<p>Crystal finally lowers her sketchbook to her lap so it's not covering her face at all and she looks Gigi dead in the eye.</p>
<p>“I don't mean this in like a weird possessive way, but like, how you look right in this moment? I don't want to leave anything behind of it that someone else might see.”</p>
<p>Gigi sucks in a breath that she hopes Crystal doesn't hear.</p>
<p>“Either tell me to put my clothes back on or come over here,” Gigi says and she knows Crystal hears her voice shake.</p>
<p>Crystal stands, her sketchbook falling to the ground, and she's at the couch with her hands on Gigi's face, pulling her into a kiss.</p>
<p>Gigi wraps her arms around Crystal's neck and pulls her down on the couch with her. Crystal puts her hands under Gigi's thighs just above her knee and lifts her a bit to lay her down on the couch. Not really thinking about it, Gigi hooks her legs around Crystal's waist.</p>
<p>Crystal's hands go to her waist, her fingers pressing into her bare sides. Gigi loosens her grip around Crystal's neck a little, letting her hands just rest on Crystal's shoulders. </p>
<p>Crystal takes the opportunity to pull away from Gigi. Crystal stares at her as her hands go to the hem of her t-shirt and she pulls it up over her head. </p>
<p>Gigi stares at Crystal in just a deep purple bra until Crystal leans back down to kiss Gigi's jaw down to her neck.</p>
<p>Gigi stares at the ceiling as Crystal kisses her, wondering what she should do with her hands. Should she undo Crystal's bra? She settles on putting her hands back on Crystal's bare shoulders.</p>
<p>She flashes back to what Jackie said.</p>
<p>
  <em>She will always take the lead but give her the littlest push back and she melts in your hands and turns into a whimpering mess.</em>
</p>
<p>In Jackie's hands maybe, but it suddenly occurs to Gigi she's never had sex with a girl before. She's barely had sex with a guy. She could completely fuck this up for all she knows.</p>
<p>Should she just let Crystal take charge then? Maybe Crystal will do everything for her like Alex did. She doesn't want to just let Crystal do everything though.</p>
<p>And what if-</p>
<p>What if having sex with Crystal makes her lose feelings like when she made out with Jaida? That might have been okay on the first date, but Gigi realizes with a flash of cold fear that she really likes Crystal. She doesn't want to stop feeling things for her. Why would she when being with her is so much fun? When Crystal makes her happy.</p>
<p>Gigi is barely thinking straight when she pushes Crystal away, maybe a little harder than she means to.</p>
<p>Crystal blinks in surprise, but backs off of Gigi.</p>
<p>“Are-”</p>
<p>“I'm sorry,” Gigi interrupts, pulling away to sit up on the couch and cross her arms over her bare chest, “I thought, I don't-”</p>
<p>“Hey, it's okay,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>Crystal eyes something behind Gigi and then she reaches behind Gigi to grab that something. She holds the item out to Gigi and she sees it's her discarded t-shirt.</p>
<p>Gigi takes it and puts it on.</p>
<p>“Hang on, let me get mine too,” Crystal says, grabbing her own t-shirt from the floor and putting it back on.</p>
<p>“I'm sorry,” Gigi says again, running her hand through her hair, “I thought I-”</p>
<p>“You don't have to explain anything,” Crystal says, “Actually, I was planning on taking things slower so, I mean I definitely wasn't going to complain, but I don't have any expectations for that.”</p>
<p>“I want to at some point, just,” Gigi pauses, not wanting to admit she's scared.</p>
<p>“Don't worry about it,” Crystal says, “Can I touch you? Your arm.”</p>
<p>Gigi nods and and Crystal places a comforting hand on her arm. </p>
<p>“Can I kiss your cheek?” she asks next.</p>
<p>Gigi huffs. “You don't have to ask,” she mumbles.</p>
<p>Crystal leans forward and kisses her cheek. “Just didn't want you to think I was trying anything,” she says after she pulls back, “Do you want to go home?”</p>
<p>“No, I want to stay,” Gigi says, grabbing Crystal's hand, “Unless you want me to go?”</p>
<p>“No!” Crystal says, moving her other hand to cover Gigi's hand still holding her own, “I just wanted to make sure you weren't too uncomfortable to stay.”</p>
<p>“Well I wanted to make sure you didn't want me to leave.”</p>
<p>They stare at each other for a second and then Crystal giggles.</p>
<p>“We're so silly,” she says.</p>
<p>“I take no responsibility,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Crystal just giggles again and kisses Gigi softly. “You wanna go to bed? To sleep.”</p>
<p>Gigi wants to make a comment about sleeping being what is usually done in bed, but given the obvious counter and how Gigi just fucked up her own plans in that regard she keeps her mouth shut.</p>
<p>“Okay,” she agrees.</p>
<p>Crystal turns off the television and forgets her sketchbook and pencils on the floor. She leads Gigi down the hall to one of just two doors.</p>
<p>“Get ready for casa de Crystal,” Crystal says, stopping in front of the door.</p>
<p>“I've been in your casa, this is your room,” Gigi says, “You don't need to turn all your canvasses around?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I already hid all those,” Crystal says with a laugh, “Only complete works are on show.”</p>
<p>Crystal opens the door and this room has walls also covered in concert posters and art, but Gigi is more interested in Crystal's queen sized bed that barely fits her bedroom.</p>
<p>“Worth it?” she asks, tilting her head toward the bed.</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Crystal says, jumping onto the bed, “I left your backpack next to the door if you want to get ready for bed in the bathroom and then we'll switch.”</p>
<p>Gigi turns her head and sees her backpack. “Sure,” she says, grabbing it.</p>
<p>Crystal points her to the bathroom and she changes and brushes her teeth, switching with Crystal when she's done.</p>
<p>She lays on Crystal's bed while she waits. It's a really comfortable bed. Gigi starts wondering how many girls Crystal has fucked in this bed.</p>
<p>She covers her face with her hands. She really shouldn't be thinking these thoughts if she can't go through with the feelings they stir inside her.</p>
<p>“Heads up!” </p>
<p>Gigi moves her hands from her face just in time to see Crystal jump onto the bed. She lands, making Gigi bounce a little from the impact.</p>
<p>“Are you ten?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>“No fun,” Crystal says, but she kisses Gigi's cheek, “Ugh, I forgot to turn off the light.”</p>
<p>Gigi giggles while Crystal groans and stands to go flip the light switch.</p>
<p>After they get under the covers Gigi turns on her side to look at Crystal. She's not sure what this feeling she gets when she looks at Crystal means but she wants it to stay here forever. She's just not confident it will.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wasn't planning on mentioning it again tbh but it's here so in case you missed it the first time the song lyrics are Drive by Melissa Ferrick.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. There's a Class for This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you as always and forever for the comments, kudos and bookmarks!!!<br/>2. Here I am again, being apologetic and feeling bad at the beginning of a chapter. This chapter is quite a bit shorter than all the others and of course I feel bad because y'all wait all week for this and now it's shorter! I fit as much stuff as I could into it, but it still came up short and you will see why. Hopefully what happens at the end of this chapter will make up for its shortness. It's also why I'm getting around to posting earlier than usual.<br/>3. Chapter 11 is also done because I'm on fire apparently! So new chapter next Saturday like always is for sure.<br/>4. Chapter title is from There's a Class for This by Cute Is What We Aim For.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi wakes up wrapped in Crystal's arms. She doesn't know how she got here since they were just sleeping side by side when she fell asleep but she's not complaining. </p>
<p>She probably needs to get up soon and that's why her body woke her up and she definitely can't leave just Jackie and Heidi to hold to fort down by themselves, but she can't help pressing her head into Crystal's neck for just a couple more minutes. </p>
<p>“You awake?” Crystal asks groggily, one hand coming up to run through Gigi's hair.</p>
<p>“Nope,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Crystal laughs breathily which has Gigi's unconsciously pressing her thighs together.</p>
<p>“What time do you usually leave for work, baby?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>Gigi's heart jumps at the name. “Nine,” she mumbles.</p>
<p>“Well this place is much closer to the shop so you have a little bit of time,” Crystal says. Clearly she already checked a clock.</p>
<p>“A few minutes until I have to leave?”</p>
<p>“A few minutes until you should get up. I'm not trying to sabotage you,” Crystal laughs again and kisses her head.</p>
<p>“What if I want you to sabotage me?” Gigi asks. She tilts her head up from where it's buried in Crystal's neck to kiss her, hoping Crystal doesn't mind her morning breath.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles against her lips. “Jackie will kill me if I don't get you there by opening time since Jan isn't working.”</p>
<p>“You know too much. How am I supposed to get out of work now?”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>She reaches a hand up and cups Gigi's face, rubbing her thumb across her cheek. Gigi wasn't even mad at Crystal, but if she was this would have solved it.</p>
<p>“Guess I better get up,” she says sadly.</p>
<p>“I guess I do too then,” Crystal says, “It's just a block away. I'll walk you.”</p>
<p>“We can't drive?” Gigi pouts.</p>
<p>“It's just a block!” Crystal repeats.</p>
<p>“But you always have your car when you come to the store.”</p>
<p>“You just think I do because those are the days I drive you home. Usually Widow and I walk.”</p>
<p>“If I get tired you're carrying me,” Gigi says, pulling away from Crystal's touch to lay on her back defiantly.</p>
<p>“It'll be an honor,” Crystal jokes. She leans over and kisses Gigi's cheek before sliding out of bed.</p>
<p>Gigi has no choice but to follow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gigi doesn't end up asking Crystal to carry her.</p>
<p>“See? You made it just fine,” Crystal says when they stop in front of the shop.</p>
<p>“Don't patronize me,” Gigi says, crossing her arms.</p>
<p>“I'm not,” Crystal whines. She grabs Gigi's face and pulls her into a kiss which Gigi can't help but smile into.</p>
<p>“Okay, I was just kidding anyway,” she says.</p>
<p>“Have a good day at work,” Crystal says, stepping back, “Talk to you later?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, let's have another sleepover soon,” Gigi offers.</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>They say goodbye and Gigi goes into the store. She is immediately greeted by a sigh of relief from Heidi.</p>
<p>“I was scared you wouldn't show,” she says, “The two of us can't handle the whole store ourselves.”</p>
<p>“Well I'm here so don't worry,” Gigi assures her.</p>
<p>Gigi goes into the back room to get her apron and runs into Jackie doing her manager stuff on the computer in the tiny side office. She glances at Gigi as she stops at the doorway.</p>
<p>“How was it?” Jackie asks, looking back at the computer.</p>
<p>“We didn't have sex so let me stop you right there,” Gigi says, taking her apron from its hook next to the door and putting it on.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Jackie shrugs, “I wasn't going to ask for details or anything.”</p>
<p>Despite her better judgement Gigi continues.</p>
<p>“You know you didn't really help, with your tip,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Jackie asks. She turns in her chair to look at Gigi and crosses her legs.</p>
<p>“You saying that made me overthink everything. I've actually,” Gigi turns to make sure Heidi isn't around even though she knows she's not and takes a few steps into the room then leans in to whisper, “I've never had sex with a girl before.”</p>
<p>Jackie looks unamused at Gigi's plight.</p>
<p>“It's not like I knew that,” Jackie defends, “But if that's the case you should just tell Crystal that. She'll help you through whatever you want to do."</p>
<p>“And make a fool of myself?” Gigi asks, throwing up her hands.</p>
<p>“Gigi,” Jackie crosses her arms and gives her a look, “I'm not going to say this is true for everyone, but I know Crystal and it's true for her. Sex is just a display of affection. Or for fun, but in this case affection. You're not going to disappoint Crystal. And you'll only upset her if you're not honest so you guys can have the best experience possible. She's not looking to be impressed or have her world shattered, she wants to make you feel good and if do the same for her even better. I can see how much she likes you. And you like her too. So just talk about it. You'll get some great sex out of it, if not the first time then later on. Trust me.”</p>
<p>Jackie turns back to the computer.</p>
<p>“Yeah, whatever,” Gigi says, turning on her heel to leave the room.</p>
<p>“Just think about it Gigi” Jackie says.</p>
<p>Gigi pauses at the doorway, her hand resting on the doorjamb. “Thanks, Jackie.”</p>
<p>She leaves the room and immediately pushes open the door to go back into the shop, missing Jackie's small smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Three people running the shop is definitely manageable, but it sure is tiring</em>,” Gigi thinks as she sits down in Jackie's car at the end of the day.</p>
<p>“Ready for bed?” Jackie jokes as she pulls out of the parking lot.</p>
<p>“Dinner first, then bed,” Gigi says, “Good thing I didn't have sex last night.”</p>
<p>Jackie just snorts at her.</p>
<p>Gigi is greatly looking forward to getting some food and going to sleep as Jackie pulls into the driveway. She doesn't care if Jan needles her again for going to bed early.</p>
<p>Jackie unlocks the front door and Gigi follows Jackie to make a beeline into the kitchen, but she almost runs into the older girl when she stops dead at the entrance to the living room.</p>
<p>Gigi looks over Jackie's shoulder and sees Kyle watching TV alone which is a little strange, but not enough that Gigi doesn't want to push Jackie into getting a move on.</p>
<p>Gigi glances at Jackie and sees suspicion in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Where's Jan?” Jackie asks. </p>
<p>With Jackie inches in front of her Gigi can see her tense up.</p>
<p>Kyle looks at them and then back at the television. “Oh, she was a bit upset about something so she went to her room,” he says casually, “I was just going to let her cool off.”</p>
<p>Gigi hasn't known Jan for a long time, but even so she can't imagine Jan getting upset. The thought has worry creeping into her and she's frequently kind of annoyed by Jan. How can Kyle be so blasé about it? Then again he's known her for much longer.</p>
<p>Jackie glares a bit and turns on her heel, storming down the hall and to the stairway.</p>
<p>Jackie's known Jan even longer so her concern makes Gigi's worry flare back up twofold. </p>
<p>Gigi glances at Kyle one more time and follows Jackie up the stairs. </p>
<p>She doesn't know if she should even take part in this. If she's allowed to be apart of whatever is happening. But she finds herself more worried about Jan than she would have expected and Jackie is being a bit scary so she doesn't want to ask. She just follows Jackie silently to Jan's room. Jackie stops in front of Jan's door and knocks gently.</p>
<p>“Jan, it's me,” she says and then cracks the door open.</p>
<p>Gigi looks past Jackie at Jan curled up in a ball on her bed. She looks up when the door opens and Gigi sees her hair is a mess, like her hands have been running through it, and tears stain her cheeks. A sob bubbles up out of Jan when she sees them and she covers her face, her body shaking with the force of her cries.</p>
<p>Jackie has the door open and is on the bed, taking Jan into her arms in a second. Gigi enters more slowly, stopping at the foot of the bed, fidgeting with her fingers. As always wanting to help but not knowing how.</p>
<p>“Jan, honey, what's wrong?” Jackie asks, pressing Jan close to her.</p>
<p>Jan keeps sobbing for a couple more minutes, but Jackie doesn't push. She just holds her tight and rubs her arm soothingly.</p>
<p>“I,” Jan finally chokes out, “I was helping Kyle with something on his phone and I saw this message. It was from another girl. They-” Jan breaks off into another sob. </p>
<p>Gigi sees the hand that was rubbing Jan's arm stop. She can't see Jackie's face because she's turned away, but she can only imagine what it looks like. </p>
<p>“I told him I wanted to break up and he should leave, but he said I was too upset and we should talk about it when I calm down,” Jan finally gets out.</p>
<p>At that Jackie pulls away from Jan and gets up. She storms out of the room and Gigi can hear her heavy footsteps as she goes back downstairs.</p>
<p>Jan sobs again, her hand covering her mouth. Gigi slowly walks closer to her. Her heart hurts for Jan, it really does. It's actually a bit shocking how much it hurts.</p>
<p>As Gigi sits next to her on the bed she can hear Jackie's voice and then Kyle's, too quiet to make out but she knows they are talking.</p>
<p>They go back a forth for a bit, but then Jackie is yelling so loud Gigi can hear it clearly from upstairs.</p>
<p>“Get the fuck out of this house!” </p>
<p>Jan starts crying harder when she hears it and Gigi, unable to take it, wraps her arms around Jan much like Jackie did. Jan buries her head in Gigi's shoulder, getting Gigi's shirt wet with her tears and probably snot but Gigi doesn't want to think about that.</p>
<p>“And mark my words if I see you here again I will fucking kill you!”</p>
<p>Gigi's eyes widen a bit at that because she thinks Jackie is actually serious about it.</p>
<p>There's some more talking from Kyle and then Jackie again at a normal volume and then the sound of the front door slamming and silence.</p>
<p>After a minute, probably of Jackie making sure Kyle left, Gigi hears her coming back up the stairs.</p>
<p>As soon as Jackie is in the doorway Gigi carefully removes herself from Jan because she's pretty sure Jackie will throw her out of the way if she's not.</p>
<p>Jackie sits back on the bed and takes Jan into her arms.</p>
<p>“He's gone honey, it's okay,” she whispers into Jan's hair.</p>
<p>Jan throws her arms around Jackie's shoulders and Jackie rubs Jan's back.</p>
<p>Gigi stands back at the foot of the bed, wondering if she should leave.</p>
<p>“Jackie?” Jan says after a couple minutes and Jackie hums for her to continue.</p>
<p>Jan pulls away to look at Jackie. “Jackie before you got here I thought...I started to think maybe he was right and we could work through it. And that scared me so much.”</p>
<p>Jackie takes Jan's face in her hands and looks at her seriously.</p>
<p>“Jan, I would <em>never</em> let you do that,” she says.</p>
<p>“I know,” Jan whispers. She throws her arms back around Jackie's neck and Jackie keeps holding her, rocking her back and forth and rubbing her back.</p>
<p>Some tears start to slip out of Jackie's own eyes and Gigi takes that as her cue to leave.</p>
<p>She tiptoes out of the room, closing Jan's door gently behind her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite everything Gigi is still hungry so she ends up back downstairs eating leftovers on the couch.</p>
<p>She wishes she could do something for Jan like make something to eat or brew tea or something, but she figures it's better she leave the two girls be.</p>
<p>Gigi is still on the couch watching TV, but not really taking anything in, an hour later when Jackie comes downstairs. She enters the living room and they look at each other. Gigi knows there's nothing she can say.</p>
<p>Jackie sits next to her on the couch, eyes red and looking exhausted, but probably nowhere near as much as Jan.</p>
<p>“He was cheating with some girl he met during training. He swore it was a one time thing and he'd never do it again and they could work through this, but Jan said no, thank god,” Jackie says, running a hand through her hair.</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't know why Jackie is telling her this. Maybe she just needs to say it out loud. Gigi puts a hand on Jackie's back and hopes it's comforting.</p>
<p>“I should have said or done something sooner,” Jackie says, running her hands over her face, “Then maybe she wouldn't-”</p>
<p>“Jackie you know none of this is your fault. This was all his actions,” Gigi says, surprising herself.</p>
<p>“I know. You're right,” Jackie says with a sigh.</p>
<p>“What did you say to him?” Gigi asks, “Besides threatening murder.”</p>
<p>Jackie lets out a short, humorless laugh. “He said he'd call the police on me for threatening his life and I said do it we'll see what they find when they get here.”</p>
<p>“I mean, good,” Gigi says, “But don't actually kill anyone. Jan needs you right now.”</p>
<p>“I know. But she'll make it through this. She's strong,” Jackie says, but she sounds more like she's trying to convince herself.</p>
<p>“Let me know if you or Jan need anything,” Gigi offers.</p>
<p>“Thank you Gigi,” Jackie says, leaning against her, “I'm glad you're here for this.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Gigi asks, unable to help herself.</p>
<p>“Of course, this is hard on me too to be honest,” Jackie looks at her and Gigi takes in Jackie's puffy, red eyes again, “It's nice to have you here as our support.”</p>
<p>“I want to be that,” Gigi admits.</p>
<p>“You are,” Jackie says. She runs a hand through Gigi's hair, still comforting Gigi even though Gigi was supposed to be the comforter.</p>
<p>Jackie sighs. “I still need to make some calls and texts,” she says, standing, “And then-”</p>
<p>“Then you need to sleep,” Gigi interrupts.</p>
<p>Jackie smiles a bit. “Yeah, I will.”</p>
<p>Jackie goes back upstairs.</p>
<p>Gigi watches TV a little longer and then goes into the kitchen to wash the dishes in the sink. This is the only thing she can think of to help, but maybe that's okay.</p>
<p>She's quite tired herself when she's done so she goes upstairs, catching the door to Jan's room just as it's closing. She sees the one going into the room is Jackie in her pajamas.</p>
<p>As Gigi enters her own room she idly wonders which is more painful, watching the girl you love be happy with someone else or comforting her after she gets her heart broken by that same person. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Learning to Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. I don't even like hugging and I'd personally hug all of you if I could.<br/>2. Umm, don't think I have anything to feel sorry for this time around lmao. I mean I realized I use "but" too much when structuring sentences, but (!) that probably only really bothers me. I'm sorry if it bothers you too or if me saying that makes it bother you. It's been driving me bonkers though since I realized like last week. I really like this chapter and I hope y'all do too.<br/>3. Next chapter is probably 3/4 of the way done and I don't have work Thursday or Friday so I'm on schedule to post next Saturday as always.<br/>4. Chapter title is from Learning to Fall by Boys Like Girls</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi wakes up the next morning to Jackie opening her bedroom door but not Jan singing.</p>
<p>Gigi lays in bed, surprised at how dull the morning is without Jan's voice.</p>
<p>“Gigi, it's time to get up,” she hears Jackie say after she finishes showering.</p>
<p>“I know, I'm getting up,” Gigi says, shifting under the covers.</p>
<p>Gigi pulls herself out of bed when she hears the door click shut. She gets dressed and goes downstairs to find Jackie drinking from an enormous mug of coffee. Gigi was going to ask her how she slept but thinks better of it.</p>
<p>“Is...how's Jan?” she asks.</p>
<p>“She's finally asleep after tossing and turning all night,” Jackie says, “Guess my presence wasn't much help.”</p>
<p>“You don't know that. Maybe she wouldn't even be asleep now without you there,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“I guess I won't know either way,” Jackie says with a small smile, “Better not to think in impossibilities.”</p>
<p>“Will Jan be okay by herself?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>Jackie shrugs. “I don't know,” she admits, “But there's nothing I can do about it. The store needs to be run and at least three people are needed.”</p>
<p>Gigi wishes she could call her dad and tell him the store needs to be closed today, but she knows not even being his daughter gives her the privilege to ask for that.</p>
<p>“Go upstairs and brush your hair and teeth and we'll get going,” Jackie says, putting down her now empty mug, “Don't think you can get away with not doing that.”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes. “Gross. I wasn't trying to.”</p>
<p>When Gigi exits the bathroom a few minutes later Jackie is standing outside Jan's door.</p>
<p>“You need anything you text me and I'll send Gigi over okay?”</p>
<p>Gigi can't hear anything but mumbling from the room, but apparently Jackie hears her just fine.</p>
<p>“Promise me? Okay, and promise to get up and eat something too. Even if it's just junk food. Okay. Love you Jan.”</p>
<p>As Gigi gets closer she makes out Jan's mumbled “Love you too”.</p>
<p>Jackie closes the door softly and turns to Gigi.</p>
<p>“Ready to go?” </p>
<p>“Shouldn't you be the one to come back if she needs someone?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>Jackie sighs. “I would love to, but I need to watch the store. I'm not really in the position to risk my job for anything, unfortunately.”</p>
<p>“I guess so,” Gigi says, remembering that Jackie only has whatever income she makes for herself.</p>
<p>Jackie gives Jan's door one more look and goes downstairs. Gigi follows a bit more slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Heidi, normally cheerful, enters the store looking troubled shortly after Jackie and Gigi arrive.</p>
<p>“How is she?” Heidi asks.</p>
<p>Gigi can only assume she means Jan, but when she learned what happened she doesn't know.</p>
<p>Jackie shakes her head. “About as well as can be expected.”</p>
<p>“How does Heidi know what happened?” Gigi asks Jackie.</p>
<p>“I did say I had to call and text some people,” Jackie says, “I told acquaintances Jan was having a hard time and to be more sensitive towards her and for friends like Heidi, Widow and Crystal I told them what happened. I just don't want anyone saying anything to her thoughtlessly. The only people I didn't tell are her parents since she needs to do that.”</p>
<p>“It's terrible,” Heidi says, shaking her head, “I should have known this would happen. I never liked him.”</p>
<p>Gigi wonders if Kyle pissed off every one of Jan's friends by doing not much of anything. Then again maybe Heidi is just saying this in solidarity.</p>
<p>The girls go about their day as best they can, but Gigi at least finds herself more exhausted than usual after the lunch rush. The girls practically collapse against the counter as the last group of children leave the shop.</p>
<p>The bell jingles again and Gigi wants to groan, but when she looks up it's just Widow coming in. Really she shouldn't be surprised since the lunch rush just ended.</p>
<p>“Hey, how is she?” Widow immediately asks.</p>
<p>“As best as she can be,” Jackie says with a shrug.</p>
<p>Widow shakes her head. “Is there anything we can do?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Heidi pipes up like it just occurred to her, “How can we help?”</p>
<p>“We just have to be there for here,” Jackie says, “It's something she has to work through herself. We just need to support her.”</p>
<p>As the other girls talk Gigi glances at Widow and then outside because Crystal isn't with her like usual.</p>
<p>“Uh, Widow?” Gigi can't help but interrupt, “Where's Crystal?”</p>
<p>Jackie and Heidi look around like they just realized Crystal indeed is not here. Not that Gigi blames them, there's a lot on all of their minds, but of course Gigi is going to notice that her girlfriend is conspicuously absent.</p>
<p>“You know, she said yesterday after we both heard from Jackie that we should come here tomorrow and check in, but when I went over there she insisted I go by myself,” Widow admits, “She sounded kind of upset. I tried to ask her what was wrong, but she said I needed to go make sure Jan was okay.”</p>
<p>“Upset?” Gigi asks, worry quickly seeping into her brain.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Widow shrugs, “She's been like this before. I can never get her to talk much when it's like this.”</p>
<p>Jackie puts a hand on Gigi's shoulder. “You can go over there after work Gigi.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Gigi asks, despite herself, “What about Jan?”</p>
<p>“I can look after her,” Jackie says, “If I need someone I have two volunteers right here.”</p>
<p>Jackie nods to Heidi and Widow and the other girls nod also.</p>
<p>“Okay, I'll do that then,” Gigi says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The morning was rough and the afternoon is even worse thanks to Gigi worrying about Crystal. Widow assured her she's seen Crystal like this before and she ends up fine after some time, but Gigi can't stop thinking about it. She wants to know what's wrong, she wants to comfort Crystal, she wants Crystal to be happy. </p>
<p>Gigi tries to keep it together when the store officially closes, but she just gets a look from Jackie.</p>
<p>“Just go,” Jackie says, shaking her head a little.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Gigi asks again.</p>
<p>“Yes, go. You can find it by yourself right?” Jackie asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it's only a block,” Gigi says, “Call or text Crystal if you need anything.”</p>
<p>“I will,” Jackie says, patting Gigi's shoulder, “Go get her.”</p>
<p>Gigi walks outside, greeted by the setting sun. As she walks she half hopes whatever is bothering Crystal is over with because she's not good at comforting people. What if she just makes it worse?</p>
<p>When she gets to Crystal's apartment her worry is briefly allocated to the shaky elevator. At least until she makes it to the third floor, then her heart is back to pounding in her chest. </p>
<p>She takes a deep breath in front of Crystal's door and knocks.</p>
<p>Gigi hears some scuffling on the other side of the door and then Crystal opens it. Crystal looks tired, but none the worse for wear. Gigi is about to be relieved until she sees tears start to well up in Crystal's eyes..</p>
<p>“Gigi? What are you doing here?” she asks, wiping the tears as they start to fall.</p>
<p>“I, I heard you were upset or something? From Widow, and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Gigi says. She worries that Crystal was okay until she showed up.</p>
<p>“What about Jan?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“Jan has Jackie and Heidi or Widow if need be. You're my girlfriend, I wanted to check on you,” Gigi says, “Can I come in?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry,” Crystal says, opening the door more for Gigi.</p>
<p>Gigi enters the apartment and Crystal shuts the door behind her. Gigi's not entirely sure the best course of action so she does the only thing that comes to mind which is pulling Crystal into a hug.</p>
<p>Crystal rests her head on Gigi's shoulder and sniffles.</p>
<p>“You wanna sit down?” Gigi asks, rubbing Crystal's back.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal mumbles against the fabric of her shirt.</p>
<p>Gigi releases Crystal, but keeps one arm around her waist to lead her to her ugly couch. She sits down and Crystal cuddles against her, tears still falling.</p>
<p>“Um, do you want to talk?” Gigi asks. That's probably a good place to start.</p>
<p>“Yes, but I'm worried you'll be upset,” Crystal admits.</p>
<p>“I-” Gigi stops. She wants to say she won't be upset, but she doesn't know that.</p>
<p>“I said something without permission,” Crystal clarifies.</p>
<p>If that's all it is Gigi thinks it will be okay.</p>
<p>“I don't think I'll be upset,” Gigi says slowly, “And I want to know what's wrong.”</p>
<p>“My mom called this morning,” Crystal says, resting her cheek on Gigi's shoulder, “And I know we never talked about it, but I'm really happy with you and wanted to share it.”</p>
<p>“If you told your mom about us I'm not upset so don't worry about that,” Gigi says, wrapping an arm around Crystal's shoulder. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal says, voice choked, “I'm relieved about that honestly. I wish that was all it was.”</p>
<p>“It's not though,” Gigi says knowingly.</p>
<p>Crystal shakes her head. “I told her and she just completely shut me down. She said it was fine if I was having this phase, but she didn't want to hear about it. I'm so dumb,” she says, “I thought I was telling myself that they were probably just ignoring the fact that I was gay and not getting used to the idea. I guess I wasn't trying to convince myself hard enough because here I am fucking crying again over the same damn thing.”</p>
<p>“You're not dumb,” Gigi says, playing with Crystal's curly hair, “We all want our parents' love. I know I still want my dad's love sometimes.”</p>
<p>“I'm so sick of crying about it,” Crystal says, “Why can't they just accept me? Why don't they love me?”</p>
<p>Crystal cries against her shoulder and Gigi's fingers slow on Crystal's hair. She looks down at Crystal, her eyes only meeting a mass of blue curls. </p>
<p>Gigi thinks she understands why even less than Crystal does.</p>
<p>She takes Crystal's hand, playing with her fingers. Her fingers and wrists are bare for once, her nails a vibrant green.</p>
<p>“Crystal, I think you're really beautiful,” Gigi says quietly.</p>
<p>Crystal's soft, hiccupping cries stop and she sniffles.</p>
<p>“You're so talented too. You come up with such weird and unique things and I know whatever project you have planned for me is going to be gorgeous. You're so kind. I've never met someone as kind as you. You're so cheerful. You're like a little sun? And you choose to shine on me? And I still can't believe it weeks later and I don't know if I ever will be able to believe it, but thank you.”</p>
<p>Gigi hopes that didn't sound completely stupid. </p>
<p>Crystal pulls away to look at her and though her cheeks are still streaked with tears she smiles at Gigi slightly. Gigi takes Crystal's face in her hands and pulls her into a kiss. Crystal's lips are salty with tears, but Gigi kisses them away.</p>
<p>Crystal sniffs again when they pull apart. “Ah, I feel like shit,” she mumbles, “Why am I crying over my parents again when Jan is devastated?”</p>
<p>“No,” Gigi echoes what Crystal said to her what feels like forever ago.</p>
<p>Crystal's tears start anew and Gigi pulls her into a hug, rocking her back and forth in her arms.</p>
<p>Gigi wonders if this is how Jackie felt comforting Jan. And if it is what does that mean for Gigi's feelings?</p>
<p>They lay there for about ten minutes until Crystal stops crying and she's back to just sniffling, their bodies laying across the couch. </p>
<p>“Gigi? Thank you,” Crystal finally says softly.</p>
<p>“For what?” Gigi asks, unthinkingly.</p>
<p>“For coming to see me, for comforting me, for being you,” Crystal says, a slight smile on her lips.</p>
<p>Crystal looks up at her and Gigi smiles back.</p>
<p>“I've been helping a lot lately,” Gigi says, “It's crazy to me that people are relying on me.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Crystal asks. She props herself up on her elbow to look down at Gigi.</p>
<p>“You know why,” Gigi says with a huff, already recounting in her head when she told Crystal about her dismal high school career.</p>
<p>“No, I don't,” Crystal says, her eyes serious.</p>
<p>“<em>Fucking hell</em>,” Gigi thinks as she pulls Crystal into another kiss. Who knew earnestness would work better on Gigi than any of Crystal's cheesy lines ever did.</p>
<p>Crystal starts smiling for real when they pull apart. “Oh, did I finally get you?”</p>
<p>Gigi gives Crystal another kiss and shakes her head. “You've had me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Crystal insists on Gigi going back home despite Gigi's protests. She says Gigi made her feel much better already, she wants Gigi to be there for Jackie and Jan and Gigi doesn't have any spare clothes or other essentials with her since she came from work. Gigi just wants to stay with Crystal and doesn't want her to bother with driving her back home so needless to say Crystal wins. </p>
<p>“You really didn't have to do this,” Gigi reiterates when Crystal pulls into the driveway of Jackie and Jan's. </p>
<p>“I know, but we're here so no more stubbornness,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Did you want to come in? See Jan?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>“No, it's late and she's going through a lot,” Crystal says with a shake of her head.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Gigi fidgets with her fingers, thinking about an idea that has been forming in her head the entire car ride, “Hey, can I come over Sunday? </p>
<p>“Yeah, did you have a plan or something?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“Something like that,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Sounds good,” Crystal smiles, “See you then? If I don't see you at the shop before then.”</p>
<p>Gigi agrees and they say goodbye with a kiss.</p>
<p>Gigi as always pauses at the front door, wondering if she should get the spare key out or just knock. She ends up knocking and Jackie answers the door.</p>
<p>Jackie tilts her head, confused, “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“Um, probably getting a snack and then sleeping?” Gigi says, walking past Jackie into the house.</p>
<p>She's shocked to find Jan sitting on the couch, watching TV and shoveling spaghetti into her mouth.</p>
<p>“Hey! Jackie said you were staying at Crystal's,” Jan says when she sees Gigi staring at her.</p>
<p>Saying “Crystal wanted me here with you in your time of need” doesn't seem like a smart response.</p>
<p>“I went there kind of spur of the moment so I didn't bring clothes or anything,” Gigi says, “I think Jackie just assumed.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I didn't really think about that,” Jackie admits, coming up behind Gigi.</p>
<p>“Jackie made spaghetti if you want some,” Jan says, holding out her plate tantalizingly.</p>
<p>“I think I'll have some then,” Gigi says, trying to match Jan's relative cheerfulness even though she's confused.</p>
<p>Jackie goes into the kitchen and Gigi follows.</p>
<p>“What did you do?” Gigi whispers once they are out of Jan's earshot.</p>
<p>“She was on the couch watching TV when I got home. I told you, she's strong,” Jackie says, but she can't hide that she still looks concerned, “Is Crystal okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, her parents,” Gigi says vaguely.</p>
<p>Jackie nods. “Ah yeah, I've heard a bit about them not being really supportive,” she says.</p>
<p>“So, you think Jan will be okay?” Gigi asks as Jackie makes a plate for her, probably just to let her hands have something to do.</p>
<p>“She will,” Jackie says, “I'm just worried she's going to try to force it or refuse to process it. I know she just cried for almost twelve hours straight, but I think she still needs to be upset. Honestly, I hope after this little burst of being okay she starts crying again.”</p>
<p>“You think?” Gigi asks. She never really thought of it that way.</p>
<p>“Of course. Grief is a process,” Jackie says, “I still cry about my own parents sometimes.”</p>
<p>“You think that lasts forever?” Gigi asks, thinking of Crystal and her parents.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Jackie smiles sadly at her, “Since I was disowned I don't have that anymore, that love parents can give you. I love Jan's parents, but they definitely aren't at a level where I would call them my surrogate parents. So it's a part that's just gone even when you do get over it, or get through it.”</p>
<p>Jackie hands Gigi her plate and Gigi looks at it and then Jackie.</p>
<p>“That sounds like it sucks,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Jackie shrugs. “That's life,” she says and Gigi flashes back to Crystal saying the same thing.</p>
<p>Jackie claps Gigi on the shoulder and continues, “But Jan lost her fiancé, not someone as integral as a parent. Hopefully she'll fall in love again someday and that will repair whatever hurt is left.”</p>
<p>Jackie goes back into the living room and Gigi follows. Jan insists on the girls sitting on either side of her on the couch. </p>
<p>It's nice that Jan is doing better and Gigi can be there for her, but that doesn't stop her mind from going back to Crystal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a filling dinner and some cuddle time on the couch that Jan insisted on Gigi is about to go to bed. Just as she gets in though her phone rings and as much as she wants to groan about it she can't when she sees Mom flashing on the screen.</p>
<p>“Hi mom,” Gigi answers, getting into bed after grabbing the phone from the nightstand.</p>
<p>“Hi Gigi,” her mom says, “Sorry I called so late, I just got back from dinner with the girls. And it's been so long I last called.”</p>
<p>“It's no problem,” Gigi says, “I was just getting into bed.”</p>
<p>“Well, how is everything? How are the girls you are staying with? Jackie and Jan, you said?”</p>
<p>“I'm good,” Gigi says, “Jackie and Jan, well, Jan broke it off with her fiancé so she's having a hard time with that.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that's terrible,” her mom says.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he cheated so it's good she broke up with him, but it's hard.”</p>
<p>“It's hard ending a long-term relationship like that,” her mom says knowingly, “But I'm sure you and Jackie will help her through.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we're trying,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“And what about that girl with the art project? What was her name...?” her mom trails off.</p>
<p>“Crystal,” Gigi supplies.</p>
<p>“Yes, her.”</p>
<p>Gigi bites her lip. Of course she hasn't told her mom about Crystal and herself yet. She doesn't want to say anything when she's still worried things won't work out, but she knows her mom would be supportive and given Crystal's situation maybe they need a parent's support right now.</p>
<p>“Actually mom, there's something I want to tell you. About Crystal. And me,” Gigi says, “We're, she's, she's my girlfriend.”</p>
<p>Her mom gasps slightly. “Gigi, really?” she can't seem to believe her ears.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gigi says, unable to keep from smiling, “We started dating a couple weeks ago, but I didn't tell you because I'm actually really nervous about it not working out. Sorry.”</p>
<p>“Don't apologize honey, I'm so happy for you,” her mom says, “You know, when you were a little girl I would catch you all the time looking at the models in my old magazines. Of course I wrote that off as you just liking the clothes. Then the issue with the Ken dolls started...”</p>
<p>“Oh god,” Gigi groans, suddenly remembering her childhood tendency to behead her Ken dolls and tailor their clothes to fit her Barbies.</p>
<p>Her mom laughs. “Yes, so I started to have a theory. And then in high school you told me you got a boyfriend which surprised me honestly, but I wasn't going to question it. Then I met him and...you know I didn't mean to hurt you that time.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Gigi says quietly.</p>
<p>“I could tell that wasn't where your heart was and I just hated seeing you keep yourself from someone who would make you much happier like,” her mom pauses meaningfully, “Anyway, I'm glad you're with Crystal. I can't wait to meet her. She sounds like a wonderful girl from the little I've heard.”</p>
<p>“She is,” Gigi says, “Speaking of though, could you send me your chicken noodle soup recipe? I wanted to try making it with Crystal.”</p>
<p>“You? Making food?” her mom sounds insultingly surprised, “Okay, I'll email it to you.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Gigi says, rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>“But seriously, I'm really happy for you Gigi,” her mom says, “I love you so much sweetie.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Good night.”</p>
<p>“Night.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. She Paints Me Blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos and bookmarks my loves!!!!<br/>2. I should not have apologized for that short chapter because this chapter is tooooo long. Way too long. This is because of my own inabilities, but you will see why when you read the chapter.<br/>3. Because this chapter is so long I just finished it yesterday, but I did start on the next chapter and it should be done on schedule.<br/>4. Title is from She Paints Me Blue by Something Corporate. </p>
<p>CONTENT WARNING: In this chapter there is one use of a slur used as a slur and not in a reclaimed manner. It is a slur I can reclaim so I felt okay with typing it, but I did think about if it should really be included and decided it was what I felt would work best for the scene. So please be careful if it might effect you but know I did not include it in this story lightly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi usually sleeps in on Sundays. The store is closed after all so all the girls get to sleep in, but she is usually still awoken by Jan singing. She isn't today which is and isn't unusual. Jan was back to work by the end of the week upon her own insistence, but whether she was up to singing or not was another story. Some days she was and some she wasn't which assuaged Jackie's worries at least.</p>
<p>Gigi rolls out of bed at ten to a very silent house. Jackie is out grocery shopping for the house, Gigi already knows that. Gigi also gave her a list of ingredients for soup and signed over her last paycheck to pay for it. Today is the day she's going to Crystal's house and Gigi's plan is for them to make their own dinner, though of course Crystal doesn't know this yet. She would have gone with Jackie to the store, but Jackie insisted on her staying to keep an eye on Jan. </p>
<p>Which leads back to the quiet. </p>
<p>After getting dressed Gigi leaves her room to peek into Jan's, expecting to find her there since the house is so quiet, but she's nowhere to be found. Frowning to herself Gigi goes downstairs to check the living room. As she walks down the stairs however she notices the front door is open.</p>
<p>Gigi looks through the screen door to see Jan standing on the front steps. A few feet away from her is Kyle and they are talking.</p>
<p>Annoyance and fear flash through Gigi's body and she opens the door. Jan quickly glances back at her, but then turns back to Kyle.</p>
<p>“Just answer me, what are you doing here?” Jan says.</p>
<p>Gigi gets the feeling she should let Jan handle this for now, but she crosses her arms and stands firm at the top of the stairs. Kyle glances at her so she knows he's seen her.</p>
<p>“You're supposed to be back at training,” Jan continues.</p>
<p>Kyle rubs the back of his head. “Jan, I just couldn't leave without talking to you again,” he says, “I don't want to leave it like this.”</p>
<p>“What do you want to say that's not saying you're sorry and you'll never do it again because I've heard that already.”</p>
<p>“W-what else is there to say?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, I just don't want to hear the same thing again.”</p>
<p>“But Jan, it's true. It was just a little slip up. I wasn't thinking. I do want to be with you, I want to marry you.”</p>
<p>“I-,” Jan's voice is a little more shaky now, “I can't marry someone I don't trust and I can't trust you anymore.”</p>
<p>“I'll make it up to you so you can trust me again,” Kyle pleads, “All couples go through problems, things can't be perfect all the time.”</p>
<p>Gigi doesn't know if it's because she's worried about Jan faltering or because she's annoyed at how obviously bullshit this all is, but she speaks up, “That's bullshit. Cheating isn't some slip up. You knew what you were doing when you cheated, take it from someone who has.”</p>
<p>Kyle looks over at her, annoyance replacing his kicked-puppy look. “Do you have to be here?”</p>
<p>“Do you?” Gigi asks, stepping forward, her hands clenched.</p>
<p>Jan turns to Gigi and holds up a hand. “Gigi, it's fine. I got this,” she insists quietly.</p>
<p>Jan turns back to Kyle and pulls a small ring box out of the pocket of her pants. “I guess it's a good thing you came by,” she says, stepping off the bottom step and holding out the box, “You should take this back.”</p>
<p>Kyle doesn't take the box. “No, I bought it for you. You should keep it.”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes at the fake attempt at kindness, like he wasn't just that saying to keep a connection Jan doesn't want.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Jan says, dropping her hand, “But this conversation is over. You should leave before Jackie comes back.”</p>
<p>Jan turns and starts walking back up the stairs.</p>
<p>“We didn't even talk,” Kyle protests, “I'm not afraid of that dyke, I don't care if she comes back.”</p>
<p>Jan's expression, which was sadness that she was trying to keep together, completely changes. Her new expression is actually a bit terrifying, blank but there is a seething anger beneath her eyes.</p>
<p>In a second, Jan is turning on her heel and storming down the stairs. “Don't you dare ever speak about Jackie like that. She is a thousand times the person you will ever or could never hope to be. I never want to see your face again and don't even try to text or call me again because I'm blocking your number. And take this shit back too.”</p>
<p>Jan throws the box with her engagement ring at him and spins around again to stomp up the stairs and into the house, the door slamming behind her.</p>
<p>Kyle looks shocked at Jan's outburst and Gigi is too if she's honest. She gets herself together before Kyle does and makes sure to give him a middle finger before she follows Jan in the house, closing and locking the front door behind her.</p>
<p>She watches out the window as Kyle confusedly takes the ring box from the ground and goes back into his car. </p>
<p>Once he's gone Gigi goes upstairs where she hears Jan crying. She looks into Jan's room and sees Jan with her face buried in her pillow, her cries are still loud despite being muffled.</p>
<p>She's not sure she'll be any help, but Gigi goes into the room and sits on the side of Jan's bed. She rubs Jan's back comfortingly.</p>
<p>Gigi is proud of Jan, but she can understand it must still hurt to see Kyle. </p>
<p>After a minute Jan turns on her side. “I can't believe he said that about Jackie,” she says, surprising Gigi, “He was there when Jackie was going through some stuff. He knew. How could he be so horrible to her?”</p>
<p>Jan must not know Gigi already knows about Jackie being disowned by her parents Gigi thinks. </p>
<p>“People change,” is all Gigi can think to say.</p>
<p>“How could I not notice?” Jan asks. Probably more to herself than Gigi.</p>
<p>Despite that, Gigi has a thought. “Maybe sometimes we get so distracted by feelings we don't realize what's really in front of us.”</p>
<p>By “we” she kind of meant Jan, but she doesn't want to say it outright.</p>
<p>Jan doesn't respond, looking deep in thought. </p>
<p>“Gigi did you really cheat?” Jan asks after a long silence.</p>
<p>Gigi forgot she even mentioned that.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she admits, “I had a boyfriend in high school, but I never really liked him. I was just fooling myself really, trying to be what I thought I was supposed to be. One day I got a bit drunk at a party and made out with my best friend who was a girl. There's no doubt though, even if I was tipsy I knew what I was doing. Saying it was an accident, a mistake, it's so stupid. Cheating is a conscious decision. It's just the why may differ.”</p>
<p>“So you think it was the right decision?” </p>
<p>“No, I don't think it was right. I shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. It's okay if you think I'm horrible or something, most people I went to high school with already do for various reasons.”</p>
<p>“No,” Jan gives Gigi a confused look, “I meant breaking up with Kyle.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Gigi suddenly feels embarrassed about her self-deprecation, “Yeah, I totally agree with that decision.”</p>
<p>Jan sits up and hugs Gigi. “And I'd never think you were horrible Gigi.”</p>
<p>Gigi smiles a bit. “You know, I never told Jackie any of this so it's between us.”</p>
<p>Jan pulls away. “Really?” Jan asks, her eyes shiny and not just with tears.</p>
<p>“Yep,” Gigi says and wraps and arm around Jan in a side hug.</p>
<p>Jan hugs her back. “What about Crystal though?”</p>
<p>“Oh, she knows,” Gigi says immediately and Jan just laughs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gigi doesn't know how it happens that within a couple hours she has two secrets with Jan. She does though because Jan asks her to keep quiet about Kyle showing up. It doesn't really matter in the end and it will just upset Jackie Jan says.</p>
<p>They probably aren't super successful because Jackie comes home to find them sitting close on the couch and Jan just giggles when she asks what's up. Jan is happy though so Jackie does drop it and tells them to get up and help with the groceries.</p>
<p>“Did you get all my stuff?” Gigi asks as she looks through the bags once they are all sitting on the counter.</p>
<p>“Yeah, so make sure to give me some credit when whatever you're planning with Crystal is over,” Jackie says, actually putting the groceries away and not sifting through them like Gigi.</p>
<p>“Ooh, what are you doing?” Jan asks.</p>
<p>“I thought we could make dinner together,” Gigi says, hoping she doesn't start blushing, “I'm not really good at cooking, but I got a soup recipe from my mom.”</p>
<p>“Crystal's not much of a cook either, but I guess two negatives do make a positive,” Jackie says.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Hey, it is,” Jackie says, throwing an arm around Gigi's shoulder and squeezing.</p>
<p>“I should start getting my stuff together,” Gigi says, ducking out of Jackie's hold.</p>
<p>“It's not even two, but okay,” Jackie says, rolling her eyes and Jan giggles.</p>
<p>Gigi ignores them and goes upstairs to pack her backpack. </p>
<p>As she's zipping her backpack she notices her cell phone on the nightstand.</p>
<p>Well, she might need to call her mom if making the soup goes tits up. She grabs the phone and stuffs it in the front pocket of her backpack.</p>
<p>Gigi still has a bit before Jackie is supposed to drive her to Crystal's, but she brings her backpack downstairs and puts it next to the door.</p>
<p>She hears Jackie and Jan in the kitchen and pauses by the entrance to the kitchen to listen.</p>
<p>“I'm sad again,” Jan says, but she sounds like she's trying to smile through it.</p>
<p>“I know, honey,” Jackie says, “It's perfectly normal. Be as sad as you want.”</p>
<p>“You're so good to me,” Jan says, voice muffled. Maybe they are hugging.</p>
<p>“Of course, you're my best friend and you've already done more for me than I could ever repay.”</p>
<p>“No,” Jan says, petulant, “No repayment. Everything I've done is because you're my best friend and I love you.”</p>
<p>“And it's the same for me,” Jackie says, “You're so silly.”</p>
<p>Gigi peeks her head into the kitchen and sees Jackie and Jan hugging in the middle of the kitchen like she suspected. Jackie kisses the top of Jan's head just as she's looking in.</p>
<p>“You're not silly enough.”</p>
<p>Both girls giggle like they are referencing some inside joke only they know.</p>
<p>Gigi pulls back to lean against the wall next to the door, smiling sadly to herself. Jackie and Jan really do have an amazing friendship. </p>
<p>Gigi wonders what would happen if Jan knew how much she hurt Jackie. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gigi arrives at Crystal's house at two-thirty in the afternoon, driven there by Jackie. It might be a little early, but Gigi is worried making dinner will take longer than she thinks and she'd rather eat too early than too late.</p>
<p>Crystal looks excited when she opens the door.</p>
<p>“Hey,” she says, looking Gigi up and down and eyeing the plastic bags in her hand, “You had plans?”</p>
<p>“That I do,” Gigi says, holding up the bags.</p>
<p>“Come on in and tell me what they are,” Crystal says, opening the door further and stepping to the side.</p>
<p>“So,” Gigi starts, putting the bags on Crystal's tiny kitchen counter, “When I'm sad or having a hard time my mom always made me chicken noodle soup so I got the recipe from her and thought we could try to make it together.”</p>
<p>“Try?” Crystal asks with a giggle, “That's not very encouraging.”</p>
<p>“I've never cooked before,” Gigi admits, “And I've heard tell about your abilities.”</p>
<p>“Exactly, not very encouraging!”</p>
<p>“Anyway, I know it was almost a week ago when,” Gigi actually pauses to think of the best wording, “You were upset, but I still thought you could use some comfort food.”</p>
<p>“It sounds great,” Crystal says, wrapping her arms around Gigi's waist.</p>
<p>Despite Crystal's hold on her, Gigi shrugs off her backpack. “Just need to get the recipe out and we can get started.”</p>
<p>Crystal lets go of her so she can put her backpack on the tiny kitchen table and take out a sheet of paper with the recipe her mom emailed to her on it. Thankfully Jackie has a printer in her room so she didn't have to physically write it down.</p>
<p>“Alright, so, um,” Gigi puts the paper down on the table and they both look at the instructions, heads tilted.</p>
<p>“You mean we don't just cut vegetables and throw them in the pot with chicken and noodles?” Crystal asks, seeing the paragraphs her mom sent her describing how to make the soup.</p>
<p>“Jackie bought all the ingredients for us so let's just get those out first since she actually knows what she's doing,” Gigi says, going to the counter and emptying the bags.</p>
<p>They lay all the ingredients and the measuring spoons and cup Jackie let them borrow out on the counter and then go back to the recipe to see if they can figure it out from there.</p>
<p>“Ew wait, does this chicken have bones in it? I don't want to touch bones,” Gigi complains, making a face at the sheet of paper.</p>
<p>“Ooh, I'll touch the bones.”</p>
<p>Crystal sounds a little too excited about it and Gigi gives her a look.</p>
<p>“Maybe I can use them for an art project,” Crystal clarifies like that helps any.</p>
<p>“Alright I guess we got to cook the chicken first,” Gigi says, ignoring Crystal.</p>
<p>Crystal takes the paper from her. “Get soup pot, put one tablespoon of canola oil in pot,” she trails off and her eyes scan the page, “These are very detailed at least.</p>
<p>“My mom knows I've never cooked before so she made it easy.”</p>
<p>Using her mom's easy to understand instructions the girls are able to create a pot of soup if not without taking a half hour longer than is probably necessary and Gigi swearing to become a vegetarian afterwards. After watching TV on the ugly couch for the last twenty minutes they gather around the pot on Crystal's stove, hoping for the best.</p>
<p>Crystal gets out a spoon and hands it to Gigi.</p>
<p>“You first,” she says, hopefully to be nice and not in case it's terrible.</p>
<p>Gigi takes the spoon and sticks it in the pot, grabbing a couple noodles and piece of chicken with it and sticks it in her mouth.</p>
<p>Her eyes widen. “It's good,” she says, a bit surprised.</p>
<p>“It is?” Crystal's eyes light up with excitement.</p>
<p>“Here,” Gigi hands the spoon to Crystal and she tries a bite.</p>
<p>“It's good! We did it!” Crystal says and Gigi laughs, “We might be cut out for this after all.”</p>
<p>“We're not opening a restaurant,” Gigi points out.</p>
<p>“We won't have to live off fast food and what Jackie or Jan make at least,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>They each get a bowl filled with soup and sit back down on the couch to eat.</p>
<p>There's something Gigi wants to tell Crystal, but she's not sure if it will help her or make her upset again. Now that they are sitting together, eating some good food, she thinks maybe it will be okay.</p>
<p>“Actually Crystal,” Gigi starts, focusing on her food, “When I talked to my mom and got the recipe I actually told her we were dating.”</p>
<p>Crystal sits up straighter and turns to her. “Really? What did she say?”</p>
<p>Gigi looks back at her and sees how anxious Crystal is for the answer. Gigi smiles. “She was really happy.”</p>
<p>“She was?” Crystal smiles, “I'm so glad. I'm happy we have someone in one of our families who supports us.”</p>
<p>“She definitely supports,” Gigi says, “She's going to want to meet you and tell embarrassing stories about me and shit.”</p>
<p>“I actually cannot wait,” Crystal says with a giggle and Gigi rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>Between the two of them they manage to finish the entire pot of soup they made. As they go to put their dishes in the sink Crystal insists on washing all the dishes now which has Gigi pouting but she complies.</p>
<p>“Here, you can just dry cranky,” Crystal says, handing Gigi a dish towel.</p>
<p>Crystal turns on the hot water and puts the soup pot in the sink.</p>
<p>“I like it at Jackie and Jan's where we leave dishes in the sink until they are impossible to ignore,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Crystal giggles as she gets out some dish soap and a sponge. “Sorry,” she says, not actually sorry.</p>
<p>Gigi just rolls her eyes at her.</p>
<p>Crystal scrubs all the dishes and utensils and then hands them to Gigi who dries them and then searches Crystal's kitchen for their correct spot while Crystal washes the next dish. It's not hard since Crystal's kitchen is so small at least.</p>
<p>“Oh my god, finally,” Gigi mutters as Crystal picks up the last bowl.</p>
<p>“I will splash you,” Crystal threatens playfully.</p>
<p>“I dare you,” Gigi says and holds up the towel in front of her face just in case.</p>
<p>Crystal laughs. “Here, last one,” she says and hands Gigi the last clean bowl.</p>
<p>Gigi dries the bowl. Crystal takes the towel from her to dry her hands. Gigi reaches up on her tiptoes to reopen the cupboard above the sink to put the bowl away. </p>
<p>“Was that so hard?” Crystal teases.</p>
<p>Gigi closes the cupboard and turns to Crystal. She's trying to think of a snippy comeback, but when she looks at Crystal she can't help putting her hands on Crystal's cheeks and pulling her into a kiss.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles against her lips and wraps her arms around Gigi's waist to pull her close. Gigi takes her hands off Crystal's face and moves them to her shoulders.</p>
<p>Still kissing, Gigi walks forward a bit and Crystal follows her lead by walking backwards until they reach the short hallway that leads to Crystal's room and the bathroom. She stops at the wall, pressing Crystal against it and Crystal smiles again.</p>
<p>“Gee,” Crystal gets out between kisses.</p>
<p>Gigi just hums in acknowledgment, still kissing Crystal.</p>
<p>Crystal puts her hands on Gigi's face so she can actually talk. “You know how I mentioned my first real girlfriend? She was actually my only real girlfriend so I just wanted to say having you be okay telling your mom about us means a lot to me. I'm glad you're not afraid of being with me.”</p>
<p>Gigi almost wants to laugh. Gigi is secretly afraid of a lot of things when it comes to this relationship, but letting anyone know she is with Crystal is not one of them. </p>
<p>Maybe she should tell Crystal this, but instead she just says “How could I be?” and kisses her again.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles against her lips and after that one kiss pulls away to kiss Gigi's jaw and then down her neck. Gigi tilts her head, encouraging Crystal's movement down to her collarbone where her t-shirt gets in the way.</p>
<p>Crystal goes back to Gigi's lips and Gigi giggles. She takes some steps to the side, bringing Crystal with her, until they enter Crystal's bedroom. She leans herself against the wall next to the door, reaching out next to her to pull the bedroom door closed.</p>
<p>Crystal pulls away to look at her and it's very obvious that they are now alone in Crystal's bedroom. The possibilities about what could happen now are clear, but Gigi's not scared or overthinking it this time.</p>
<p>Gigi smiles at Crystal and leans forward to kiss at her jaw and neck. </p>
<p>Crystal hums, pleased. Still, she pulls away after a few seconds, her hands on Gigi's arms.</p>
<p>“Gigi, do you want to do this?” she asks.</p>
<p>Gigi opens her mouth, but despite the fact that yes she does want this her voice catches in her throat. She takes Crystal's hand and puts in on the button of her shorts in an effort to not force herself to say anything.</p>
<p>Crystal pulls her hand away. “Gigi, this isn't like,” she pauses like she thought better of herself, “I need to hear you tell me you want this. You can just say yes or no.”</p>
<p>Gigi's shock at the notion that she would say no has her rushing out the answer without her brain even thinking about it. “Yes. Yes! Of course, yes,” she says, taking Crystal's face in her hands again.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal says and Gigi pulls her into a kiss.</p>
<p>“I want you,” Gigi continues when they pull away, their lips still brushing.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal says again. She takes some steps backwards, bringing Gigi with her to the bed.</p>
<p>As much as Gigi wants to lay Crystal down on the bed, or even just sit on her lap, she restrains herself and sits next to Crystal on the bed.</p>
<p>Crystal tucks some hair behind Gigi's ear. “God, you're so gorgeous,” she mutters, “Can't believe...”</p>
<p>She doesn't finish her sentence, leaning in to kiss Gigi again.</p>
<p>Gigi is curious about what Crystal was going to say, but is more interested in getting her tongue in Crystal's mouth. She puts her hands on Crystal's shoulders and climbs onto her lap. Crystal grabs her waist to steady them, but maybe Gigi was too enthusiastic because they tip over to lay on the bed, Gigi on top of Crystal.</p>
<p>The girls giggle against each other's lips and Gigi holds herself up on her elbows so she isn't putting all her weight on Crystal. They pull away to look at each other and Crystal's warm hand creeps under her shirt, rubbing against the skin of her side and up her back.</p>
<p>Gigi leans down to kiss her again. Crystal's hands push up her t-shirt as they travel further up her back, brushing against the fastener on her bra.</p>
<p>Gigi thinks about Jackie's words again, but not the words from the first time. She needs to tell Crystal about her insecurities. And even though it kind of terrifies her she pulls away.</p>
<p>“Crystal?” she says, voice quiet.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Crystal responds, smiling gently up at her.</p>
<p>“There's something I should tell you,” Gigi says, “Um, I've never, uh, I've never had sex with a girl before.”</p>
<p>Crystal sits up, making Gigi pull back and sit up as well.</p>
<p>“Really?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“Are you that surprised?”</p>
<p>Crystal hums and taps her lip in thought. “I guess not when I think about what you've told me. Taking your clothes off in front of me kind of threw me off though.”</p>
<p>Crystal laughs and Gigi can't help but follow along. “Okay, but that was more a spur of the moment thing, not from experience.”</p>
<p>“No matter though,” Crystal says, giving Gigi a brief kiss, “Is there anything you want to know or have questions about?”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes a bit. “I don't really want to turn this into a sex-ed lesson. Can we just keep going like we were?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Crystal says and kisses her cheek, “Let me know if you need or want anything though.”</p>
<p>Gigi nods and leans in to kiss Crystal again. </p>
<p>Crystal puts her hands on Gigi's arms and lays down, pulling Gigi with her. She sneaks her hand under Gigi's shirt again, running a finger along her spine which makes Gigi shiver.</p>
<p>Impatient, Gigi pulls away and grabs the hem of her t-shirt, pulling it over her head. Once she throws it off the side of the bed Crystal's hands reach up to pull Gigi back down.</p>
<p>Gigi allows Crystal to kiss her a couple more times before she pulls away. “Take your shirt off too?” she asks.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles and sits up, pulling her own t-shirt off and throwing it over the bed.</p>
<p>Gigi can't help but stare a little. Crystal looks radiant with her tan skin, blue hair, and lime green bra. Hesitantly, she reaches a hand out and runs it along Crystal's stomach, Crystal's body twitching under her fingers. It's kind of fascinating to Gigi, that her hands can have an effect on Crystal. She moves her hand further up, running against the fabric of Crystal's bra. Gigi looks at Crystal who is looking back at her.</p>
<p>“Can I take your bra off?” she asks, sounding more shy than she would like.</p>
<p>Crystal just breathes out a “yeah” and Gigi reaches a hand behind Crystal to undo the clasp. Her hand hesitates after that, but Crystal reaches up to pull the straps of her bra down and take it off.</p>
<p>Even though Gigi wants to take all of Crystal's body in she is distracted by a glint of metal and her eyes hone in on the silver stud piercing Crystal's pretty brown nipple.</p>
<p>Gigi blushes more at the piercing than at Crystal's bare chest. </p>
<p>Gigi's never thought of Crystal as cool. Not in a bad way, she's just, she's Crystal. Seeing Crystal like this though just reminds Gigi that Crystal is more experienced than her.</p>
<p>Crystal has had a girlfriend before, Crystal goes to the bar and takes girls home, Crystal has made a girl come before and probably a lot of girls at that, Crystal has her nipple pierced. </p>
<p>It's both jealousy-inducing and hot at the same time. She's almost thought herself into another panic when Crystal interrupts her thoughts.</p>
<p>“Do you like it?” she asks, probably because Gigi's been staring at her nipple for a few seconds by now.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gigi admits, but she glances away in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“You can touch if you want,” Crystal says, shifting on her hands a bit, “Or I can touch you if you want? Or we can stop if I'm misreading and you're uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>Gigi looks at Crystal again to shake her head.</p>
<p>“No, I'm just-”</p>
<p>Be honest.</p>
<p>“I'm just worried I won't be good enough,” she finishes lamely.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles softly and takes Gigi's face in her hands. “You're already perfect.”</p>
<p>It's a nice gesture and Gigi can't help but smile back even though she's not sure she believes it.</p>
<p>“Why do you say that?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Because I like you and want to make you feel good and you like me and, I assume, want to make me feel good.”</p>
<p>“I do,” Gigi confirms.</p>
<p>Crystal shrugs. “That's all we need. You're already communicating your feelings with me too. And that's the second most important part.”</p>
<p>“You're really smart about these kinds of things,” Gigi notes, a bit curious.</p>
<p>Crystal grimaces good-naturedly. “A lot of teenage sexual misadventures,” she says, “And can I say it will all be worth it if I can make your first time with a girl a good one.”</p>
<p>“So cheesy,” Gigi murmurs, kissing Crystal.</p>
<p>“You should be used to it by now,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>While both girls laugh a bit, Crystal's hand travels up Gigi's arm. </p>
<p>“Can I undo this?” she asks, fingering the strap of Gigi's bra.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you've already seen me so,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“And I'm still gonna be entranced,” Crystal says, reaching behind Gigi and unfastening her bra.</p>
<p>Gigi scoffs but she's still smiling a little as she finishes taking off her bra and throws it over the side of the bed.</p>
<p>Crystal reaches for Gigi's waist to pull her in close and kiss her neck. </p>
<p>Gigi puts a hand on Crystal's shoulder that slowly moves down. Her fingers tremble a bit when she reaches the curve of Crystal's breast, the skin there impossibly soft. Gigi brushes her thumb against Crystal's pierced nipple and Crystal hums against her neck. Getting braver Gigi takes Crystal's nipple in her hand and plays with the piercing. Crystal moans and moves from Gigi's neck to her lips.</p>
<p>“That feels good,” Crystal tell her.</p>
<p>Gigi moves her hand down Crystal's breasts and stomach to the button on her jeans.</p>
<p>“Can I take these off?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Crystal says, standing up on her knees.</p>
<p>Gigi undoes the button with only slight difficulty and pulls down the zipper, her eyes catching the bright purple of Crystal's underwear. Her undergarment choices are definitely more unique than Gigi's black panties and bra. </p>
<p>“Here, I'll make it easy,” Crystal says, standing up on the floor to push off her jeans.</p>
<p>“I'm...gonna take mine off too,” Gigi says, a little distracted by a mostly naked Crystal.</p>
<p>Crystal sits back on the bed and Gigi stands to take her shorts off. Her shorts drop to the floor and she looks up to see Crystal looking at her, eyes gentle. She opens her arms and Gigi falls into them, their lips meeting as they lay back down on the bed.</p>
<p>Crystal's hands feel like fire everywhere they touch, her back, her shoulders, her neck. She hyperfixates on the touch of her hands, and her lips on hers, and the hard metal of Crystal's piercing poking her where there chests are touching. She feels her thighs tense. She's getting wet and practically aching, but if Crystal takes care of her first she doesn't know if she will be able to reciprocate which she really wants. That just means she'll have to go first.</p>
<p>“Crystal,” Gigi says after pulling away slightly, “I want to-”</p>
<p>She pauses, trying to think of something that's not as clinical as “I want to perform oral sex on you” and not so vulgar as “I want to lick your pussy”. </p>
<p>“I want to eat you out,” she says, voice smaller than she would like.</p>
<p>Crystal's eyes widen. “You do? Right now?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, do you want that? Is that okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I'm just surprised that is what you want to do first,” Crystal says, running a thumb across Gigi's cheek, “You don't have to do anything you know. If you want me to eat you out I will without you doing the same. We can do whatever you're comfortable with right now.”</p>
<p>“I want to though,” Gigi insists.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal says, smiling slightly, “You're full of surprises you know that?”</p>
<p>“You're teasing me,” Gigi says. She leans in and nips Crystal's neck and the other girl laughs.</p>
<p>“I'm not,” Crystal says, running a hand along Gigi's collarbone when she pulls away, “I never know what you're gonna say or do.”</p>
<p>“I just told you.”</p>
<p>Crystal chuckles. “I guess you did.”</p>
<p>Gigi leans in for another kiss. As they kiss Crystal brushes a hand against one of her nipples and Gigi shudders.</p>
<p>Gigi pulls away. “You're distracting me,” she says, not wanting to get carried away.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Crystal says and gives her a kiss in apology, “You want to take my underwear off? Or I can? Whatever you want.”</p>
<p>Gigi pulls back. “I'll take them off,” she says, “This being slow and always asking shit is annoying.”</p>
<p>Crystal brushes some hair behind Gigi's ear. “Sorry, but for the first time it's best to just talk it out. Once we're used to each other you can tear my clothes off whenever you want for all I care.”</p>
<p>Gigi sits up and hooks her fingers under Crystal's underwear even as her face heats up. She pulls Crystal's panties down, focusing more on the other girl's legs until she reaches her feet and the underwear is over the side of the bed like the rest of their clothes.</p>
<p>Gigi can see in her periphery that Crystal's legs are open and she's anxious in a good and bad way about looking at Crystal completely naked.</p>
<p>“I can close my legs if you want,” Crystal says, her legs shifting a bit.</p>
<p>“No, it's,” Gigi takes a breath and looks at Crystal who is sitting up on her hands, “I'm fine.”</p>
<p>“Listen,” Crystal stops leaning on her hands and sits up, her legs crossing, “One, don't worry about not being good. If you can make yourself come you can make me come and I'll tell you what I like. Two, if you don't like it or want to stop at any point you can. I don't care if I'm two seconds from coming. Okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes, okay,” Gigi says, using all her might to not roll her eyes.</p>
<p>“I know you don't like the talking, but it's important,” Crystal says, “Just get through my lectures this time and we never have to talk during sex again. Unless you're into dirty talk.”</p>
<p>Gigi can't help but smile again. “Maybe I am,” she says and kisses Crystal.</p>
<p>Gigi pulls away and puts her hands on Crystal's thighs. “Okay,” she mumbles mostly to herself.</p>
<p>Crystal uncrosses her legs and lays back, leaning on her elbows so she can keep an eye on Gigi.</p>
<p>Gigi runs her hand down Crystal's stomach which trembles under her touch. She pauses at Crystal's pubic bone and Crystal's pelvis and thigh twitch almost violently. It's so hot that Gigi can get that reaction from Crystal it gives her the bravery to actually touch Crystal. She bites her lip and moves her hand lower to run along Crystal's folds, wet and slick, more than she thought it would be. </p>
<p>She rubs her fingers against Crystal's clit and she moans. “See? You're doing just fine,” Crystal says with a breathy laugh, “You can just use your fingers if you want, you don't have to use your mouth if you don't want.”</p>
<p>Crystal is telling Gigi she doesn't have to eat her out so much Gigi would wonder if Crystal just didn't want her to if she didn't already know Crystal would tell her straight out if she didn't. Crystal must think she's forcing herself and though she might be nervous she really does want to do this. Almost in defiance Gigi moves back so she can lay down, her face now level with Crystal's pussy.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Crystal mutters, picking up on her annoyance.</p>
<p>Deciding to just go for it Gigi licks along Crystal's folds and Crystal sucks in a breath.</p>
<p>“Your hair is going to get in the way,” Crystal says, gathering her hair and pushing it off to the side with trembling fingers.</p>
<p>“Thanks?” Gigi says and Crystal's legs twitches from Gigi's breath against her.</p>
<p>“You can keep licking just like that, if you don't hate it-”</p>
<p>“I don't hate it,” Gigi interrupts, licking Crystal again to prove her point. It's not like it's delicious or anything, but it's definitely bearable. The fact that it's Crystal she's doing this to makes it better than anything.</p>
<p>“Okay, I believe you,” Crystal says, her fingers trembling in Gigi's hair that she's still gently holding, “You can also put your mouth on my clit and lick or suck it, that's good. And use your fingers still, just touching is fine or you can fuck me with them as long as your nails are cut.”</p>
<p>“My nails are cut, I masturbate too you know,” Gigi mumbles against Crystal's skin, moving to kiss at the soft skin of her thigh.</p>
<p>“Okay, no more lectures,” Crystal says, voice a bit strained, “God, you're so gorgeous. You can do whatever you want to me.”</p>
<p>Gigi's face heats up as she wonders if Crystal's dirty talk comment wasn't just a hint to her own proclivities. </p>
<p>Gigi closes her eyes and tries to focus on the task at hand. She gives licks and open-mouth kisses to every part of Crystal that she comes in contact with. She puts both hands on Crystal's thighs, but one moves down until her fingers are at Crystal's entrance. She easily slips in two fingers, facing down and then turning to face up once she's inside.</p>
<p>Crystal moans, her fingers tensing in her hair and her leg twitches. “Keep pressing in like that, please,” she breathes.</p>
<p>Very pleased with this reaction, Gigi gently thrusts her fingers in and out of Crystal. She uses her other hand to push up Crystal's thigh, letting it rest on Gigi's shoulder so she can get in closer. She kisses around Crystal's labia and then moves to her clit, putting her mouth around it to simultaneously suck and lick her. </p>
<p>Crystal whines and squirms under her, her name leaving Crystal's mouth in breathless little moans. Gigi almost want to smile victoriously that she has Crystal reacting like this. Maybe she'll be as good as Jackie sooner than she thinks.</p>
<p>“Just keep doing that and I'll come,” Crystal encourages, her hands leaving Gigi's hair. What she's doing with her hands now though Gigi doesn't know because she's using all her concentration to make Crystal come.</p>
<p>Of course now is the time Gigi starts worrying she won't know when Crystal comes. She knows when she's coming because she can feel it, but will she be able to tell for someone else?</p>
<p>Just as she's thinking that though Crystal tenses under her and then shudders. </p>
<p>“<em>Okay, that. Holy shit</em>,” Gigi thinks, not stopping her ministrations. </p>
<p>Crystal hand reaches back down and grabs Gigi's hand still holding Crystal's thigh, gripping it hard. Gigi slows down, pulling her wet fingers out of Crystal and only leaving soft kisses on her clit.</p>
<p>“Fuck, Gigi,” Crystal's other hand comes down and grabs Gigi's wrist to pull her up. She pulls Gigi into a kiss, tongue first.</p>
<p>“I taste like you,” Gigi tries to say, but Crystal doesn't seem to care.</p>
<p>Crystal sits up, Gigi in her lap, and wraps her arms around her waist. She leaves a trail of kisses between her breasts down to her stomach. The kisses on her stomach are warm, open-mouthed.</p>
<p>“You're so amazing, and so fucking beautiful,” Crystal says against her skin, “I cannot wait to make you come.”</p>
<p>Now that she isn't distracted trying to pleasure Crystal, Gigi realizes her pussy is throbbing, her thighs tense. She has never been this turned on in her life, but of course she hasn't.</p>
<p>Crystal turns them around, laying Gigi down on the bed.</p>
<p>“Can I eat you out? I'll beg if I have to,” Crystal says, holding herself over Gigi.</p>
<p>“I should be begging you,” Gigi says, a bit breathless.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles and shakes her head. She kisses Gigi's neck and then goes back down to her stomach, her fingers hitching on her underwear.</p>
<p>“If you ever want me to stop just say it and I will,” Crystal says, barely pulling down her panties.</p>
<p>“Crystal, oh my god,” Gigi says, feeling like she'll explode.</p>
<p>“I know, last time,” Crystal says and pulls down her underwear, “Fuck you're wet.”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah,” Gigi says. She laughs a little, unable to stop herself.</p>
<p>Crystal mumbles something she doesn't quite hear, but she thinks it's “I hope you giggle when you come”.</p>
<p>Gigi kind of hopes she does too if Crystal will like it, but doesn't have much time to think because Crystal is pushing her thighs open. She kisses down Gigi's thigh, making her twitch under her hands.</p>
<p>Crystal licks her folds, tongue more sure and skilled than Gigi's was. Gigi would be jealous if it didn't feel so good. </p>
<p>Gigi rocks her hips against Crystal's mouth, unable to help herself. Crystal puts her hands on her hips to steady her, holding her to her mouth.</p>
<p>“<em>This must be why they call it eating out</em>,” Gigi thinks as she moans, her eyes squeezed shut. She takes hold of one of Crystal's hands, squeezing it tight, using it as an anchor because she feels like if she doesn't her body will shoot away like an arrow let loose from a bow. </p>
<p>Crystal hums against her and Gigi whines. She's caught between wanting this forever and wanting to come right now before she loses her mind. </p>
<p>“Crystal,” Gigi whines.</p>
<p>Crystal does not respond, her mouth too occupied, but she rubs Gigi's hip soothingly and turns her hand that is under Gigi's around to squeeze back. </p>
<p>Gigi feels like she could cry, she feels so good and Crystal is so amazing in every way. She never wants to let her go. </p>
<p>Never, never, never, never, never,</p>
<p>Gigi lets out a choked gasp as her orgasm finally hits her. Crystal holds onto her harder, her fingers pressing into her skin, keeping her grounded. </p>
<p>“I got you,” Crystal murmurs against her skin. Gigi barely hears it.</p>
<p>Crystal stays where she is, kissing and licking her until her legs stop shaking. As Gigi's breathing returns to normal Crystal moves up to face her. </p>
<p>Gigi takes Crystal's face into her hands and pulls her into a kiss.</p>
<p>“I taste like you,” Crystal says, repeating Gigi's earlier words.</p>
<p>“I don't care,” Gigi says and kisses her again.</p>
<p>Crystal turns them on their sides so she doesn't have to hold herself up over Gigi, but not letting their lips separate. </p>
<p>When they do part and look at each other, Gigi doesn't do it because of Crystal's comment, she really does just have so many emotions swirling inside her right now all she can do is giggle. </p>
<p>Crystal smiles and kisses her again. “So gorgeous,” she says, “You doing okay?”</p>
<p>Gigi has to laugh again. “What do you call a million times better than okay?”</p>
<p>Crystal giggles along and kisses her forehead. “I get the picture,” she says, “I'm going to go to the bathroom. Be right back.”</p>
<p>Crystal leaves the room and Gigi stretches out on the bed. She thinks about getting under the covers, but honestly she's still kind of sweaty. She could probably fall asleep right here, on top of the covers, before Crystal even gets back. She wants to snuggle with Crystal though so she keeps her eyes open, staring at the now open bedroom door.</p>
<p>Crystal pauses at the door when she comes back, eyeing Gigi. “Look at you,” she says with a smirk.</p>
<p>“What?” Gigi asks, watching Crystal go to her dresser and pull out some underwear and pajamas.</p>
<p>“You looked like you were modelling,” Crystal says with a giggle.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Gigi chuckles, “I wasn't. I'm just naturally like this.” </p>
<p>Crystal shakes her head at her as Gigi runs a hand over her hip. She jumps back on the bed. Gigi reaches for her and Crystal gives her a short kiss, but then pulls away.</p>
<p>“You should go to the bathroom too,” she says.</p>
<p>Gigi groans. “I want to sleep though.”</p>
<p>“It's a good idea to pee after sex. Or else you could get a UTI,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Ugh, gross,” Gigi says, but it does have her rolling out of bed.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Crystal says, “I'll still be here when you get back.”</p>
<p>When leaving the bathroom Gigi catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She stops and takes a good look. Gigi knows she's beautiful, has always known that, but something about how she looks now, naked as the day she was born and with a small hickey coloring her neck, she's never felt more beautiful. She smiles a little at her reflection and leaves the bathroom.</p>
<p>“I guess I better get dressed too,” Gigi says when she reenters the bedroom and is reminded that Crystal changed into pajamas.</p>
<p>“I mean, feel free if you don't mind sleeping naked,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Never tried it, but it doesn't seem comfortable,” Gigi says, getting her backpack from the floor in Crystal's bedroom where she stored it earlier and unzipping it, “I'll just put on my pajamas.”</p>
<p>“Take your time,” Crystal teases, propping herself up on an elbow.</p>
<p>“Get a good look while you can,” Gigi says. She arches her back as she takes her underwear and pajama pants out of her backpack and Crystal giggles.</p>
<p>“You have a really cute ass,” Crystal says so casually, “I'm going to have to appreciate it more next time.”</p>
<p>Gigi opens her mouth to make some pithy comment, but instead frowns when she gets to the bottom of her backpack with no pajama shirt in sight.</p>
<p>“Where did my shirt go?” she wonders aloud.</p>
<p>She unzips the front pocket wondering if she slipped it in there thoughtlessly, but only pulls out her cell phone.</p>
<p>“Um, you can borrow one of my shirts if you want,” Crystal offers as it's clear Gigi forgot to pack a shirt to wear to bed, “Or you can sleep topless I have no problem with that.”</p>
<p>“I think I will. Dresser?” she asks and Crystal nods.</p>
<p>“I didn't know you had a cell phone,” Crystal says when Gigi turns to go to Crystal dresser and open the top drawer. She was just guessing, but she made a good choice because there are a bunch of t-shirts right on top.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I don't really use it often. Only to talk to my mom,” Gigi says, picking out a large, slightly worn MCR shirt.</p>
<p>“I figured since I haven't seen it until just now.”</p>
<p>Gigi puts her underwear and pants, then the shirt on and turns around. She's surprised when she sees Crystal has her sketchbook out and is scribbling in a corner. When Gigi stops next to the bed again Crystal tears off the corner of the sheet of paper and hands it to her.</p>
<p>Gigi takes the piece of paper and looks at it, seeing a phone number sloppily written on it. </p>
<p>“That's my number. Just in case you ever need it,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>Gigi looks at the piece of paper for probably a second too long before she sticks it in the front pocket of her backpack and puts it back on the floor.</p>
<p>“Come on, cutie. Bed time,” Crystal says, pulling back the covers for them to get underneath.</p>
<p>Gigi gets into bed with Crystal who wraps her arms around Gigi and pulls her in close.</p>
<p>“Don't suffocate me in my sleep,” Gigi says, even as she leans into Crystal's touch, resting her head in the crook of Crystal neck.</p>
<p>“What? I would never,” Crystal says, but she still squeezes Gigi affectionately and then kisses her head, “Night Gee.”</p>
<p>“Good night Crys,” Gigi murmurs.</p>
<p>Crystal seems to fall asleep right away and as much as Gigi would like to do the same she remains awake. She pulls back from Crystal's neck to look at her peacefully sleeping face.</p>
<p>She rubs a thumb against Crystal's cheek. She must really be asleep because she doesn't move except for a fluttering of eyelashes. Gigi's chest surges with affection at the sight.</p>
<p>She rests her head back against Crystal's neck and her hand on Crystal's side, soft and warm and safe.</p>
<p>“<em>Is this what it's like</em>?”</p>
<p>Gigi falls asleep before she can wonder any more than that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. She's the Blade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for the comments, kudos and bookmarks!! I love you guys!!<br/>2. I don't think I have anything to say for once...I'm exhausted, predictably. I think a lot of us are so I hope this brings some happiness??? (&lt; just remembered what happens this chapter). I started the next chapter and I've hit a bit of a bottleneck, but it should be out on time.<br/>3. Chapter title from She's the Blade by Sugarcult.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi spends a whole week thinking about love.</p><p>It's always been less scary to think of love as something she wasn't capable of. It was easier to tell herself she was heartless. </p><p>But then there's Jackie's giving her a small smile despite her tired eyes, Jan smiling at her through tears, and of course Crystal's sleeping face when Gigi woke up first the next morning after they had sex. </p><p>None of the people she's met here think she's a heartless bitch. They all rely on her and care for her. And as scary as it is, it's really nice too.</p><p>She thinks she loves them as friends, Heidi and Widow too, but saying she loves Crystal in a different way is harder. She doesn't know much about love, hasn't even seen what it looks like because of how her parents' relationship was, so how is she to know if it's love if looking at Crystal makes her heart want to burst out of her chest. Is is love when she can't stand to see Crystal sad? Is it love when she wants to make Crystal happy? Is it love when the thought of losing Crystal terrifies her more than anything? </p><p>She thinks about the answer for a long time without actually deciding anything. </p><p>Even on a Sunday when she gets to sleep in she lays awake in bed, having heard Jackie get up and go downstairs a while ago, but not moving because she's thinking about what love means while also avoiding the answer.</p><p>A while after Jackie gets up she hears Jan's door open and figures if Jan is up she might as well get up too. </p><p>She gets dressed and leaves her room, but as she's coming out Jan is leaving the bathroom and heading back to her room.</p><p>“Are you going back to sleep?” Gigi asks.</p><p>Jan jumps, surprised by Gigi's voice. She must not have noticed her leaving her room. “Ah, Gigi. Um, not really. I just want to be by myself. Been thinking about some stuff.”</p><p>“Oh, okay,” Gigi says. She wants to tell Jan she can talk to her if she needs it, but figures if Jan wants to talk she'll talk to Jackie.</p><p>Gigi is about to go downstairs, her hand on the railing, when Jan stops her.</p><p>“Actually Gigi, I want to talk about something,” Jan says, Gigi turns to see her hesitating at her door, “Could you come into my room?”</p><p>“Sure,” Gigi says.</p><p>She goes into Jan's room and Jan closes the door behind them. She sits on her bed, feet up and arms wrapped around her legs. Gigi hesitantly sits next to her.</p><p>Jan doesn't say anything, her eyes fixed on some point in the distance, unseeing. </p><p>“So, what did you want to talk about?” Gigi asks in case Jan is waiting for her to start the conversation.</p><p>Jan lets go of her legs and lays back on her bed, letting out a massive sigh.</p><p>“Gigi, um,” Jan turns her head away from Gigi and crosses her arms, “What's it like having sex with a girl?”</p><p>Gigi sputters in shock and Jan flinches. It feels like Jan knows she had sex with a girl for the first time last week and she can see everything she and Crystal did. Of course that's not true though.</p><p>“Um, y-you should probably ask Jackie about that,” Gigi eventually says. </p><p>Despite her worries Jan doesn't really know Gigi's only had sex with a girl once in her life so she doesn't actually know much.</p><p>Jan groans and rolls onto her side. “Ugh, no Jackie never talks to me about that kind of thing,” she looks down, “Jackie's my best friend so I always tried to share everything with her. I would tell her, like, everything I did and I'd ask her, but she would just avoid answering and change the subject.”</p><p>Gigi grimaces while Jan isn't looking. Poor Jackie.</p><p>“Jackie thinks I'm stupid,” Jan says, sitting up suddenly and smacking a hand on the bed, surprising Gigi, “She hasn't done it recently, since summer started, but she would go out sometimes on Friday or Saturday nights. She'd get dressed all nice and be like “bye, I'm not coming home tonight. See you tomorrow.” like I didn't know she was going to the bar to hook up. Why can't she just tell me that? Why does she hide anything to do with her romantic or sexual life from me? I don't care if she goes out and has one night stands. I want her to be safe about it, yeah, but I'm not going to be weird about it. I'm not going to judge her, so why won't she be honest with me?”</p><p>Jan pouts at her full force while Gigi's brain scrambles to think of a response despite the new information. Well, maybe not that new since she knew from Crystal Jackie did go to the lesbian bar and hook up with girls and that Jackie didn't want Jan to know that was how she met Crystal. </p><p>“Jackie doesn't think you're stupid,” Gigi says, that she knows for sure, “She probably just isn't comfortable talking about that kind of thing. People have different comfort levels when it comes to discussing sex and stuff, right?”</p><p>Gigi realizes as it's leaving her mouth it isn't true. Jackie has been pretty candid talking to her about sex. Maybe not her sex life, but still. And while she still doesn't think Jackie thinks Jan is stupid, she does think the reason Jackie doesn't talk about these things with Jan has everything to do with Jan and the fact Jackie is in love with her. She can't tell Jan that though.</p><p>“I know, it's probably just not something she's into talking about,” Jan says, her pout still persisting, “But that's why I can't ask her. She won't tell me. You can though, can't you?”</p><p>Gigi's not sure she can since she has very little experience, but for some reason in Jan's time of need she kind of wants to come off as more knowledgeable than she is. </p><p>“Well,” Gigi looks at Jan who is giving her puppy eyes, “Um, I guess it's like,”</p><p>Gigi looks away, closing her eyes to think about her first time with Crystal just a week ago.</p><p>“It's like when an arrow is strung on a bow, and it's being pulled tighter and tighter, but instead of letting go the arrow just keep getting pulled until the string finally breaks.”</p><p>Gigi looks at Jan again who looks confused.</p><p>“That sounds...intense,” is all she says.</p><p>Maybe Gigi scared her off having sex with a girl if that's where Jan was going. She doesn't know if that would make Jackie relieved or furious.</p><p>But Jan continues, “More intense than anything I've ever experienced.”</p><p>Gigi shrugs, not sure what else she can say. She's definitely not going to go into detail about sex with Crystal.</p><p>“You know,” Jan lays back down, “Because of like movies and stuff I always thought sex is something two people just <em>do</em> together and it just, I don't know, works. So when I started having sex and it didn't...work I thought I was doing it wrong or something was wrong with me. I know I said I tell Jackie everything, but I didn't tell her that because I was too embarrassed. Now I'm wondering though if it doesn't have to be together. Having someone's attention all on just you must be better, right?”</p><p>“It is nice, but I don't think one person giving another all the attention necessarily means you're not together,” Gigi says slowly, it's hard to explain things in vague terms like this but she does not want to be the one to start being explicit, “Because it's really intimate actually. It's giving and receiving right? One person gets to receive but the other person is giving because they like <em>you</em> and they want to pleasure <em>you</em> and that gives <em>her</em> pleasure. Just the knowledge that you're both into each other and want it and everywhere your skin is touching feels like it's on fire and you're not even thinking about getting off you're thinking about how amazing she is and how you never want this moment with her to end and maybe this is what it feels like to-”</p><p>Gigi's mouth clamps shut, the reality of what she was about to say snapping her out of talking. </p><p>Jan's face is beet red and she's biting the inside of her cheek.</p><p>“Sorry,” Gigi says lamely, “I, um, was thinking about something else.”</p><p>“It's okay,” Jan says, but she's still very red, “Thanks for talking to me. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Now that I'm single I've been rethinking some things and trying some things, but I haven't...anyway, thanks.”</p><p>“It's no problem,” Gigi says, “Though maybe you should talk about some of this with Jackie too? You don't have to be explicit if you don't think that will work, but I think she would like to know what you're feeling.”</p><p>“I'll try,” Jan says with a small smile, “Thanks Gigi.”</p><p>Jan hugs her tight and Gigi can't do anything but accept it, patting Jan's shoulder comfortingly.</p><p> </p><p>Gigi is able to get Jan's issues out of her mind, satisfied that Jan can figure things out and if not Jackie can help her. If only the same could be said for her thoughts about love. She tries not to let it ruin her days though, usually keeping those thoughts out of her mind until she's alone in bed. </p><p>Especially now that she gets to leave work early for the first time in a while. Jan is back on schedule so when Crystal asks her to come with her to the art store she gets permission to take a half day. </p><p>Crystal comes into the shop by herself after the lunch rush like usual, but this time with the intent to take Gigi with her.</p><p>“Let me just hang up my apron,” Gigi tells her before disappearing into the back room.</p><p>Jackie follows her into the room and Gigi looks at her curiously.</p><p>“Hey,” Jackie says, “We haven't talked in a minute and I was just wondering did you and Crystal...”</p><p>Jackie gives her a pointed look.</p><p>“You're being coy now?” Gigi asks, “But yeah we did. You can tell?”</p><p>“I know what a girl looks like after getting nice and fucked,” Jackie says, her tone is sarcastic but Gigi doesn't think she's being sarcastic, “But also you both have hickeys. Yours was small enough I wrote it off, but I just saw hers and it's huge.”</p><p>“<em>Wow, if Jan could hear her now</em>,” Gigi thinks. </p><p>“It went well though?” Jackie asks.</p><p>“Yeah, your advice really helped actually.”</p><p>“I'm glad,” Jackie says, clapping Gigi on the shoulder.</p><p>She turns to leave, but Gigi has to stop her.</p><p>“Hey, um, has Jan talked to you about anything...different?” Gigi asks.</p><p>Jackie slowly turns back around, brow furrowed. “No...why?”</p><p>“No reason!” Gigi quickly says, voice chipper.</p><p>She pushes past Jackie and leaves the back room.</p><p>“Ready,” she tells Crystal who is leaning on the counter talking to Jan and Heidi.</p><p>She grabs Crystal's hand and drags her outside the shop.</p><p>“Bye guys!” Crystal says as she's taken away.</p><p>“What was that about?” Crystal asks when the door closes behind them with a jolly jingle.</p><p>“Nothing, really,” Gigi shrugs, “I just made a comment to Jackie that got her asking questions I can't answer.”</p><p>“Well, you're being clear as mud now,” Crystal says, leading Gigi behind the store to her car.</p><p>“Sorry, I don't think I should tell without Jan's permission.”</p><p>“Ooh, secrets with Jan.”</p><p>“I'll tell you as soon as I'm able,” Gigi promises, “Something's got to come of it at some point.”</p><p>Gigi hopes so at least. Crystal did say she had suspicions about Jan's sexuality and now Jan is thinking about sex with girls. Sounds like a breakthrough might be on the horizon.</p><p>The girls reach Crystal's car and get inside.</p><p>“So where is this art store?” Gigi asks after Crystal starts the car.</p><p>“It's about twenty minutes away from here unfortunately,” Crystal says as she backs out, “But it's the best art supply store in the county. All the art students go there for supplies.”</p><p>“And what are we getting?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“You'll see when we get there,” Crystal says with a smirk and turns on the radio, blasting Memory by Sugarcult.</p><p>The art supply store is a medium sized one story building the next town over.</p><p>“I wonder if they have fabric,” Gigi says as they exit the car.</p><p>“I don't think so,” Crystal says, “But I'm sure other clothing design people at school will know a good place to get fabric. That's how I found out about this place.”</p><p>Gigi looks around as they enter the store at the many paints, pencils, canvasses, everything an artist could need, covering the shelves and walls of the store. She hurries her steps to catch up to Crystal who makes a beeline for a back wall filled with almost every color of paint imaginable.</p><p>“Alright,” Crystal says under her breath.</p><p>She grabs an orange bottle of paint and holds it up to Gigi's hair.</p><p>“Is that why I'm here? To get the right shade of paint?” Gigi asks, cocking an eyebrow.</p><p>“Yeah,” Crystal says.</p><p>She shakes her head and puts the bottle back, picking up another.</p><p>“Not much of a surprise,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Didn't say it was,” Crystal says with a wink.</p><p>“You never even got a full-body sketch of me. Why are you buying paints?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“Oh. Well,” Crystal blushes a bit, “I kind of got your body memorized by now. So actually I've moved on to the actual piece. The sketch is done already. I just need to do the line work and paint it!” </p><p>“Wow, so it's almost done,” Gigi says.</p><p>“I guess you could say that. There's still a lot of work left though,” Crystal smiles at her and hands her an orange bottle of paint, “Hold this please?”</p><p>Gigi takes the bottle and Crystal moves on to the yellows.</p><p>“So,” Gigi says, examining the bottle, “Already memorized?”</p><p>Crystal blushes again and she giggles. “I don't think I could ever forget. After last week.”</p><p>“Then you must not need to see it again, since you already know it so well,” Gigi teases.</p><p>Crystal smirks at her and slides another bottle into her hands, moving her mouth closer to her ear as she does. “I memorized it with my eyes maybe, but I've yet to memorize it with my fingers. Or my tongue.”</p><p>Gigi blushes. “Ah, I guess you'll need to see it quite a few more times then.”</p><p>Crystal pulls back and winks, “Thought so,” she says and turns on her heel to the next section of paints.</p><p> </p><p>After buying all the paint Crystal needs the girls stop by the Mexican restaurant for a quick dinner before Crystal drives her home.</p><p>She's a bit surprised as she goes up to the front door to find it open, but today is cooler than usual. Fall is just around the corner. Maybe the door is open to get some air circulating through the screen door.</p><p>She enters the house and hears Jan and Jackie talking in the living room.</p><p>“-ourse you can tell me anything. You know that,” Jackie's voice is a little shrill. Gigi wonders if asking Jackie if Jan had talked to her lately freaked her out.</p><p>She pauses at the entry to the living room and just peeks her head in. It sounds like Jan is going to talk to Jackie about what she was asking Gigi about. She probably shouldn't eavesdrop, but just in case Jan has trouble finding her words she wants to be able to come in and help so she stays partially hidden.</p><p>Jackie and Jan are both on the couch. Jan is sitting cross-legged on one side and Jackie sits more casually with her feet stretched out and crossed at the ankle, her arm over the back of the couch. Jan is biting at her thumb nail, clearly nervous.</p><p>“I'm just worried you'll be uncomfortable,” Jan says.</p><p>“Jan, if it's that important I will listen. I can take it,” Jackie says, putting a hand on her knee.</p><p>Jan seems to stare at Jackie's hand on her, staying quiet for longer than is comfortable. “Okay,” she finally says and Jackie moves her hand.</p><p>“I've just been thinking a lot since I've been single,” Jan says, she looks down at her fingers and plays with them distractedly, “Because you know the girls would always make comments about me not knowing anything about sex. And I started to think they were right, but you probably already knew they were right.”</p><p>Jackie's face is red, but she is clearly trying to engage with Jan no matter how uncomfortable she is.</p><p>“Yeah, I could kind of tell...based on what you told me,” she says.</p><p>“Yeah, so, I know you don't like talking about this sort of thing, but you're the only one I can ask,” Jan says.</p><p>That makes Gigi pause since Jan already asked Gigi about it so why would she say that.</p><p>“You know you can ask me anything. I'm not too uncomfortable for anything if you need help,” Jackie says.</p><p>Jan finally looks at Jackie and smiles slightly. “Yeah. So, it's never worked before when I had sex. And I tried to get it to work by myself, you know what I mean?”</p><p>Gigi wants to roll her eyes at Jan's insistence on using the word “work” for achieving orgasm, but whatever helps her get it out.</p><p>“I think I know,” Jackie says thankfully.</p><p>“Um, so, I was thinking another girl would probably know how. And like I said I know you don't like to talk about that sort of thing, but you're my best friend in the whole world and I trust you so much. I want, I want you to show me,” Jan says and bites her lip.</p><p>Gigi is very confused. This is not the same conversation she had with Jan. </p><p>“S-show you?” Jackie asks, also confused about what Jan is asking.</p><p>“Yeah, I want to know what it's like,” Jan uncrosses her legs and crawls forward on the couch, “I want to know so bad. And you're the perfect person for it. You can show me, right?”</p><p>Jan inches even closer and Jackie stands, a look of panic on her face.</p><p>“No, Jan. I can't,” she says, shaking her head.</p><p>Jan sits back up and crosses her arms with a pout. “Why not?” she asks.</p><p>“I-”</p><p>Jackie can barely even get that out, already looking near tears.</p><p>Gigi wants to step in and stop this because it's clearly a disaster in the making, but at the same time it's like watching an imminent train crash. Not only is it impossible to look away from, but she's pretty sure if she tries to intervene she'll just end up being run over.</p><p>“I know you think I'm stupid,” Jan says and Gigi flinches, “But I know what you're doing when you go out for the night. I even knew about you and Chelsea. You have sex with girls all the time so why can't you do this for me?”</p><p>Jackie's face hardens a bit. “You have no idea about me and Chelsea.”</p><p>“You do think I'm stupid,” Jan says, looking hurt.</p><p>Jackie crosses her arms and turns away a bit from Jan. “I don't think you're stupid. You don't know about me and Chelsea or any of those other girls for that matter because I'm keeping it from you.”</p><p>“You and Chelsea were...fuck buddies!” Jan stands as well, “And you go out and have one night stands with girls. I don't care about that! Why are you keeping it from me?”</p><p>“Jan can we just drop this? Please,” Jackie turns away from Jan and runs a hand through her hair.</p><p>“But Jackie I want to know,” Jan pleads, “What do you think you're keeping from me? Why can you have sex with complete strangers you don't have any feelings for, but not me?”</p><p>Gigi can see because Jackie is turned more in her direction that a tear slips out of Jackie's eyes. She wipes at it and swallows hard before turning to face Jan again.</p><p>“Jan, I've been in love with you since I was fifteen,” she says like it's obvious and it probably is to everyone but Jan.</p><p>Jan takes a step back, looking confused and kind of scared. “What?” she whispers.</p><p>“I wasn't keeping the one night stands from you. I wasn't even necessarily keeping my thing with Chelsea from you in high school,” Jackie continues, “What I was hiding was that I couldn't have a relationship that wasn't just sex with anyone because I have only been able to love you.”</p><p>Jan's mouth is open in shock, but Gigi doesn't think anything is about to come out of it any time soon.</p><p>“And I'm sorry,” Jackie says, Gigi can't see her face but she can tell by her voice that she's crying, “I'm sorry I've been hiding myself from you. I'm sorry I fucked up our friendship. And I'm sorry I can't help you with your problem, but I've been hurting myself for years over every little thing and actually getting to be with you like that just so you can see what it's like would...it would kill me.”</p><p>Jackie turns on her heel and rushes out the room. Gigi doesn't have time to move and Jackie nearly runs into her.</p><p>Her eyes widen when she sees Gigi, clearly shocked and tears streaming down her face. But she doesn't say anything and pushes past Gigi to run upstairs, the sound of a door slamming coming a minute later.</p><p>Gigi goes into the living room where Jan is now sitting on the couch looking completely lost. She tries to think of something to say, but despite her progress there really isn't anything she can say. Even though she knows deep down what she wants to say is “Jan, what the hell?”</p><p>Jan finally notices her approach and looks up at her. </p><p>Gigi is expecting Jan to start crying and pull her into a hug or to ask a million questions, but she just stands and pushes past Gigi too to run upstairs to her room.</p><p>As the second door slams Gigi sits down at the couch, suddenly at a loss about what to do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Failure's Not Flattering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thank you for your comments, kudos and bookmarks!!!!!<br/>2. No one say anything about being sad this is almost over! I'm sadder than all of you combined lmao.<br/>3. I wrote like two sentences of the next chapter, but it's not a huge one so it should be out on schedule.<br/>4. Chapter title from Failure's Not Flattering by New Found Glory</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi seriously considers going back to her dad's house. It speaks to how much she hates it there that she stays at Jackie and Jan's where, despite the summer heat, the air in the house feels frosty. The air of the ice cream shop doesn't fair any better even if the room temperature there is colder. </p>
<p>Heidi barely lasts an hour before she looks like she wants to explode. Gigi drags her into the back room before she does.</p>
<p>“Gigi, what the hell is going on?” Heidi asks, “You can cut the tension in there with a cold butter knife as Widow would say.”</p>
<p>Gigi runs a hand down her face. “Well,” she pauses not wanting to say it, “Jackie told Jan she's in love with her.”</p>
<p>“What?” Heidi screeches and Gigi quickly covers her mouth.</p>
<p>Gigi shushes her. “I know, okay?”</p>
<p>Heidi pulls Gigi's hand away. “What did Jan do?” she whispers.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Gigi shrugs, “They both went to their rooms and haven't spoken since.”</p>
<p>“This really sucks,” Heidi says, crossing her arms, “Isn't there anything we can do?”</p>
<p>“If there is I haven't come up with it,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Maybe we could ask Widow, she's smart. Or Crystal, she's emotionally intelligent at least,” Heidi says.</p>
<p>“I'm more worried about them coming in without knowing and saying something that will make shit more awkward,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Text Crystal then.”</p>
<p>“I...I didn't bring my cell phone,” Gigi says which is true, but it just reminds her she still doesn't have Crystal's number on her phone. She still hasn't entered the number on that scrap of paper Crystal gave her.</p>
<p>“Fine, I'll do it,” Heidi says, pulling her phone from her pocket.</p>
<p>“Just, just tell them not to come in today,” Gigi says, “I'll call Crystal tonight and ask for advice. We can't talk to them during work and I have to go home with Jackie and Jan so we can't meet up later.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Heidi says. She finishes her text and puts her phone away.</p>
<p>“We should probably get back out there,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“It's so awkward though,” Heidi says with a shiver.</p>
<p>Gigi moves for the door and gives a small eyeroll. “At least you aren't living with them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The drive home is awkward. Jan sits in the back without prompting and even though Gigi could sit in the back with her she decides to sit in the front seat next to Jackie.</p>
<p>Dinner is similarly awkward. Both girls pick leftovers or a frozen meal and prepare them separately. Luckily for Gigi she is able to get some leftovers out of Jackie. They all sit on the couch and eat like usual, but the air around them is oppressive. Gigi almost wants to scream.</p>
<p>The three of them go to their separate rooms. Unbeknownst to the other girls though Gigi gets out her cell phone and pulls the paper with Crystal's number out of her backpack.</p>
<p>She's a bit hesitant as she punches in the number though she's not entirely sure why.</p>
<p>She brings the phone to her ear, chewing on her bottom lip as she waits for Crystal to answer.</p>
<p>“Um, hello?” Crystal answers. She sounds confused. If Gigi had to guess it's because Gigi's number obviously isn't in Crystal's phone and Crystal probably forgot she gave Gigi her number.</p>
<p>“Hey Crystal,” Gigi says nervously.</p>
<p>Crystal gasps slightly. “Gigi?”</p>
<p>“Who else?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>Crystal laughs. “I completely forgot I gave you my number,” she says, “What's up? Did you need something or just wanna talk? Or phone sex?”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes. “Crys, we have a situation.”</p>
<p>“Oh, is this about Heidi telling me that Widow and I should stay away from the shop today?”</p>
<p>“In that case we were trying to save you from the awkward. Now I need advice,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Hit me.”</p>
<p>Gigi lets out a breath. “Jackie told Jan she's in love with her.”</p>
<p>Crystal sputters much like Gigi did when Jan asked her about sex with girls. “How the hell did that come about?”</p>
<p>“Remember secrets with Jan?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Well, the secret was she asked me about sex with girls.”</p>
<p>“You?” Crystal sounds almost offensively incredulous.</p>
<p>“Shut up, she didn't know I only had sex with a girl for the first time a week before,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Crystal giggles. “So what happened then?”</p>
<p>“I mean, I told her what I felt without going into detail.”</p>
<p>“So you said it's amazing and you should totally try it?”</p>
<p>“Shush,” Gigi says but she has a slight smile on her face, “I'm telling a story.”</p>
<p>Gigi goes into excruciating detail about what happened, though she does leave out her little rant to Jan where she almost said sex with Crystal made her wonder if this is what love was like. For obvious reasons.</p>
<p>“Wow,” Crystal says quietly once Gigi is done.</p>
<p>“It's so awkward around here it's painful,” Gigi bemoans, “What can we do?”</p>
<p>“Gigi,” Crystal says, her voice is sad and Gigi's stomach sinks, “They need time.”</p>
<p>Gigi groans. “I don't want to give it time,” she complains.</p>
<p>“I know. If it's really horrible over there you can stay with me,” Crystal offers, “This is a lot for both of them and they need to process it before they can talk about it again.”</p>
<p>“Honestly, I don't really want to leave them,” Gigi admits, “I'm afraid one or both of them will blow up if I do.”</p>
<p>“Okay, but that's an open offer if you ever change your mind,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Gigi says and they slip into quiet for a second, “I hope things work out with them.”</p>
<p>“They'll talk it out once they have time to think,” Crystal assures, “Hey Gee? Could I save your number in my phone?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Gigi says, “Thanks for talking about this with me Crys.”</p>
<p>“I wish I could give you an answer you'd like,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“I'd rather hear the truth,” Gigi says, “Even if Heidi and I are going to be suffering until they finally talk about it.”</p>
<p>Crystal hums and silence falls over them making Gigi feel awkward. Silence can be comfortable when it's in person, but the point of being on the phone is talking so if they're not doing that she feels like she needs to come up with something to say.</p>
<p>“I'm glad you called,” Crystal says, saving Gigi from having to say something.</p>
<p>“It was important that you know what's going on.”</p>
<p>“No,” Crystal says softly, she sounds like she's smiling, “Not that. I'm just happy to hear your voice and have your number in my phone.”</p>
<p>Gigi blushes and she's glad Crystal can't see it. “You sap,” she mumbles.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Crystal says and usually Gigi would think Crystal isn't actually sorry but her voice is so soft it's hard to tell, “I just really-”</p>
<p>Crystal stops and pauses long enough Gigi almost prompts her to continue.</p>
<p>“I'm really happy right now,” she finally continues.</p>
<p>“Okay?” Gigi is kind of confused considering the situation, “I guess I'll talk to you later?”</p>
<p>Crystal hums. “We can keep talking until we fall asleep if you want,” she says.</p>
<p>“It sounds lovely, but I'm really tired actually,” Gigi says, “I just want to sleep.”</p>
<p>“Understandable. Night Gee,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Good night Crys,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Crystal makes kissing noises in the phone and Gigi smiles a bit as she hangs up.</p>
<p>She saves Crystal's number into her phone, leaving it saved as just “Crystal” after thinking for a solid minute if she should put a less than three next to her name.</p>
<p>In saving Crystal's number, Gigi sees the rest of her contacts and realizes her still has Jaida in there. She deleted everyone's number but hers she remembers. She thinks about the text again, thinks even longer about if she should open it. Then decides she's too tired for it and puts her phone on the bedside table, resolutely turning on her side and pulling the covers over her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Three days later Jackie and Jan are talking. Gigi doesn't think they've actually talked, but they're talking. It's all strictly business, asking for help at the shop, what to have for dinner, they've probably commented on the weather when Gigi wasn't listening for how banal it all is. </p>
<p>But it's progress so Gigi says nothing about it and chimes in on what she wants for dinner like things are normal.</p>
<p>Until the fourth day when, while all girls are holed up in their rooms and while Gigi is attempting to fall asleep, she hears a door open. That's not so unusual, probably someone going to the bathroom, but Gigi hears a knock and it's not on her door.</p>
<p>She hears voices and even though it's really none of her business she cracks open her door so she can listen to what is being said.</p>
<p>“-to talk. Please?” Jan's voice.</p>
<p>A sigh from Jackie. “We probably should, huh?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Yes.” Jan says, clearly nervous.</p>
<p>“Come in,” Jackie says.</p>
<p>Gigi frowns as she expects to hear a click from the door shutting but none occurs. She peeks outside and sees Jackie's door is still open a crack.</p>
<p>Gigi slips out of her room and sneaks across the hall to Jackie's room, crouching outside the door to listen in. Jackie's light is on and she can kind of see inside, but she's not about to stick her face by the door to get a better look for fear of getting caught.</p>
<p>“I'm sorry,” Jackie immediately says.</p>
<p>“No, I'm sorry,” Jan says.</p>
<p>Gigi smiles slightly. It feels like things really will be okay, and though that should be enough, Gigi keeps listening.</p>
<p>“It was thoughtless of me to ask something like that of you. And just because we're best friends,” Jan continues.</p>
<p>“You didn't know,” Jackie says, “And I knew you didn't know. I'm the one who ruined everything by confessing.”</p>
<p>“No, Jackie. You didn't,” Jan says and she sounds happy? “You did the exact opposite even.”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“I've been thinking a lot these past few days. About a lot of different stuff. I feel so silly that I've never seen it before. You've always been there for me, you're the one I've always been closest too. And now that...Kyle is out of the picture it's like I can finally see for the first time. And what I realized is I like girls. But more importantly I...I love you, too.”</p>
<p>The silence is deafening. </p>
<p>The smile that has been slipping from Gigi's face the longer she's hears Jan's speech, with its edge of desperation, finally drops.</p>
<p>“Jan,” Jackie sounds exhausted, “I can't do this.”</p>
<p>“What? I just said I feel the same as you after all this time. Aren't you happy?” Jan's voice is starting to get shrill.</p>
<p>“You don't love me, Jan,” Jackie says. Gigi can hear the pain in her voice as she says it.</p>
<p>“Why are you being like this?” There's a thud sound like Jan stomping a foot, “Everything is supposed to be better now. You've loved me all this time and I realized I love you too. It's...it's perfect!”</p>
<p>“This isn't a fairy tale!” Jackie shouts.</p>
<p>More silence even more deafening than before.</p>
<p>“You said that you love me, but you treat me like a child,” Jan says, sounding close to tears.</p>
<p>“It's not treating you like a child,” Jackie says harshly, “I'm just being realistic. You're hurt, Jan. He hurt you. And there's a really big empty space inside you right now that you want filled and because I'm an idiot that let you know how I feel now you think I can fix it. I can't though because I really do love you, but you don't love me the same. Trying to make something out of that will just hurt us both in the end and I'm tired of being hurt.”</p>
<p>“Jackie you don't understand,” Jan insists, “I've been trying to...orgasm for like a week and it never worked, but after I found out how you felt I thought of you and it finally worked. I finally had a freaking orgasm for the first time thinking of you! That's gotta be-”</p>
<p>“Stop,” Jackie cuts in.</p>
<p>Jan is quiet.</p>
<p>“I want to be here for you during this,” Jackie says, “I know it's hard and you're hurting. But I can't do it like this. I've been fine with hurting for a while now and accepted it. I can't accept this though, it just hurts too much. I'm sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, you stop,” Jan says, voice actually rising in anger a little, “I've been horrible and selfish our entire relationship, I get it. It's been killing me, okay? How am I supposed to make up for it if you won't accept that I love you?”</p>
<p>“You don't have to make anything up to me! My feelings aren't your fault!” Jackie shouts back and Gigi flinches at the volume.</p>
<p>“So I'm supposed to not care that I've been hurting the most important person in my life every day for years?” Jan is yelling too.</p>
<p>Gigi suddenly feels like a child again, hiding in the hall while her parents yell back and forth. Feeling nauseous, Gigi stands on shaky legs and goes back into her room. </p>
<p>She can hear Jackie and Jan's voices through the walls and she looks around for something to comfort her. Her eyes land on her phone and she grabs it. She goes to her recent calls and hits redial on Crystal's number without thinking.</p>
<p>“Gigi! Hi!” Crystal answers cheerful as ever despite the time of night.</p>
<p>Gigi swallows hard. “Crystal? Can you come get me?” she asks quietly.</p>
<p>She can practically hear Crystal's smile drop. “Yeah. Jackie and Jan's?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Give me ten, no, five minutes, okay?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Five minutes,” Crystal reiterates and hangs up.</p>
<p>Gigi quickly throws some clothes in her backpack along with her phone and sneaks out of her room. Jackie and Jan aren't shouting anymore, but they are still talking heatedly. Gigi doesn't really process what they are saying as she quietly goes down the stairs.</p>
<p>She unlocks the door and leaves the house, making sure she locks the door again behind her. She stands at the end of the driveway shaking from anxiety and the slight chill in the air. Autumn will be upon them soon.</p>
<p>She's not waiting long before Crystal's car comes barreling down the street a bit too fast. </p>
<p>The car comes to a stop in front of Gigi and she opens the door. Crystal doesn't say anything as she gets in, just rubs her shoulder and puts the car back in drive.</p>
<p>“I'm surprised you didn't get pulled over on the way here,” Gigi comments.</p>
<p>Crystal glances at her and grins. “Oh, I did. I just lost them,” she jokes, “Be on the lookout for red and blue flashing lights and sirens.”</p>
<p>Gigi laughs a bit, already feeling better from being with Crystal.</p>
<p>They get to Crystal's apartment in the normal ten minutes now that Crystal isn't speeding.</p>
<p>“I was actually getting ready for bed when you called,” Crystal says as she unlocks her front door.</p>
<p>“I can tell,” Gigi says seeing as Crystal is still in her pajamas, “I was trying to sleep too. In case you couldn't tell.”</p>
<p>Crystal looks Gigi, also in her pajamas, up and down. “Want to go to bed?” she asks.</p>
<p>Gigi nods and Crystal throws her keys on the table and wraps an arm around Gigi's shoulders.</p>
<p>“Okay, bed,” she says.</p>
<p>They go to Crystal's room and Gigi drops her backpack in the corner.</p>
<p>“I just need to text Jackie real quick since I'm guessing you didn't tell her you were leaving,” Crystal says, pulling out her phone and sitting on her bed.</p>
<p>“Oh. No,” Gigi says. </p>
<p>“Don't want her to absolutely flip out,” Crystal says with a small laugh.</p>
<p>“She's got a lot more on her mind right now,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>She climbs into bed and Crystal puts her phone on the bedside table to lay down too, pulling the covers over them.</p>
<p>“She would still have the biggest freak out,” Crystal insists.</p>
<p>Gigi can feel most of her anxiety melt away as she settles against Crystal side.</p>
<p>“Are you going to ask what happened?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>“I figured you'd tell me if you wanted to talk about it. No pressure,” Crystal says. She has her cheek resting against Gigi's hair and a hand comes to lay on her lower stomach.</p>
<p>Crystal's warm hand is distracting and she glances down at it. “Um, did you want to have sex?” she asks.</p>
<p>“I don't really feel like it, but if you need to get off or something let me know and I'll help you out,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“I don't,” Gigi says, prying her eyes away from Crystal's hand.</p>
<p>“It's really no problem if that's what you need right now,” Crystal pulls her head away to look at Gigi and let her know she's serious.</p>
<p>“It's really not,” Gigi insists.</p>
<p>She looks away from Crystal, embarrassed that she thought that's what Crystal was going for just because of her hand placement.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Crystal lays her head back down and rubs her hand across Gigi's lower stomach which has her letting out a noise of recognition, “Oh, my hand? Sorry, did it seem like she was being frisky?”</p>
<p>Crystal giggles and moves her hand higher on Gigi's stomach.</p>
<p>“No, I mean, I shouldn't have...” Gigi trails off, not sure what to say.</p>
<p>“It's okay,” Crystal says, kissing her hair, “I can understand why you might have misunderstood. I just wanted to cuddle though, and listen to your problems if you wanted to talk.”</p>
<p>Gigi sighs. She doesn't really want to get into it, but...</p>
<p>“I think I'm sad,” she tells Crystal. She covers the hand Crystal has on her stomach with her own.</p>
<p>“Do you want to say why?”</p>
<p>“Just...Jackie and Jan were talking which turned into fighting and it reminded me of when my parents' would fight which freaked me out, but I guess what really bothers me is I think it's over for them,” Gigi says, “And it's just really sad because they're such good friends. It sucks that it can just end like this.”</p>
<p>Crystal hums and runs her free hand through Gigi's hair. “I don't think it's really the end for them though.”</p>
<p>“You didn't hear it,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“No, but I know Jackie and Jan. Those two have something special and they've had it for a long time. It'll take more than this to ruin it. They'll work it out.”</p>
<p>“You're still sure?” Gigi asks, incredulous.</p>
<p>“Gee, Jackie and Jan aren't your parents. No one is either of those things. All relationships are different and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes people try and sometimes they don't. Sometimes relationships should end,” Crystal says plainly, “I think Jackie and Jan work and they'll both try and it definitely shouldn't end.”</p>
<p>This isn't really what the conversation is about, but she feels her thoughts drift back to her parents.</p>
<p>“I'd never really thought about it before, but it was probably for the best my parents got divorced,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“I would agree based on what you told me,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“Do you ever think of ending your relationship with your parents?” Gigi asks after a minute of silence.</p>
<p>Gigi can feel Crystal tense next to her. “No...” she says slowly.</p>
<p>“I didn't say that meaning you should,” Gigi quickly corrects, “I was just wondering.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it's silly, but I still have hope,” Crystal says, relaxing some, “That one day they'll be okay with it. So I haven't thought about it. Maybe years later if nothing has changed I'll give it thought.”</p>
<p>“Sorry I asked that,” Gigi says, “I was just thinking if my mom ended her relationship with my dad maybe I should too?”</p>
<p>“You should do whatever you think is best for you,” Crystal says immediately.</p>
<p>“I didn't just move here to live with him obviously. I just wanted to get away from home,” Gigi says with a sigh, “I wasn't expecting anything and maybe <em>I</em> should try harder, but I was in his house for a week and only my step-mom ever tried to talk to me. I practically moved out after two weeks and he barely says anything to me when he brings our paychecks to the store. What's the fucking point? Why do I say yes whenever he deigns to call me about meeting up for dinner every other Christmas or birthday?”</p>
<p>Gigi groans. “Why am I even thinking about this crap? I'm blaming Jackie and Jan.”</p>
<p>Gigi can feel Crystal smile against her hair despite everything. “Maybe it's something you need to think about.”</p>
<p>“I was supposed to decide if I wanted to keep living with my dad or live in the dorms before summer ended,” Gigi ponders, “I haven't thought about that at all.”</p>
<p>“Jackie and Jan would probably let you move in with them.”</p>
<p>“If there's still a place to move into in a couple weeks,” Gigi says, pessimistic. </p>
<p>“Still not listening to me?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>Despite the teasing tone Gigi feels the need to reassure Crystal. “It's not like that, it's just-”</p>
<p>“I know,” Crystal interrupts, “And I'm not saying things are going to go back to normal for them, they're not. What I'm saying is something broken can be rebuilt into something new and even if it's not the same it's still good.”</p>
<p>Gigi just hums. She's not really thinking about Jackie and Jan anymore.</p>
<p>Maybe Crystal knows this because she pulls away and Gigi turns her head to look at Crystal who is staring at her intently.</p>
<p>“If relationships are something you've never had that doesn't make them impossible for you. You can always build it, even if you've never built it before. There's always gonna be a first time,” Crystal lips quirk up in the smallest smile and she leans forward to kiss Gigi.</p>
<p>“<em>I think you've been my first time for a lot of things</em>,” Gigi thinks.</p>
<p>But what she says is a very quiet, “Okay.”</p>
<p>Crystal is pleased enough with that and closes her eyes to sleep. Gigi does the same, thinking about feelings she's never felt before as she drifts to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. It's Been A Summer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Thanks for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. And I'm gonna keep it there since next time I'll be going on a diatribe about how I love you all.<br/>2. I actually just finished this because I got a new game and my mom sent me some puzzle books so I've been distracted, but you know I'm not going to leave you guys hanging for the last chapter so it will be out next Saturday like usual.<br/>3. Chapter title from It's Been A Summer by New Found Glory</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi's sleep that night is restless, an endless barrage of Jaida and her parents interrupting her dreams. By the time she wakes it's almost afternoon, but Crystal is still a warm presence beside her.</p><p>“You awake?” Crystal asks as soon as she shifts.</p><p>Gigi turns to lay on her back and looks over at Crystal who was playing snake on her phone, but is now looking at Gigi.</p><p>Gigi stretches. “Yeah. What time is it?”</p><p>“Eleven-thirty,” Crystal says, snapping her phone shut and putting it on her nightstand.</p><p>“Jesus,” Gigi mumbles, “You could have gotten up you know.”</p><p>“Didn't want to leave you,” Crystal says, pulling Gigi into a hug and kissing her cheek.</p><p>“I'm not distraught,” Gigi says, rolling her eyes.</p><p>“Well I'm here anyway,” Crystal says.</p><p>“You always seem to be,” Gigi says soft enough that Crystal might not hear.</p><p>“I don't know what you want to do today, but first things first I'm going to take a shower,” Crystal says, releasing Gigi to stretch, “Wanna join?”</p><p>“No thanks, I'll take one after you're done,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Fine, we won't conserve water,” Crystal jokes.</p><p>She gives Gigi another kiss and stands.</p><p>After Crystal has left the room Gigi gets up and grabs her cell phone from her backpack. She flips the phone open and lays back down on Crystal's bed. She's been thinking about it for awhile and after talking with Crystal about relationships she thinks it's finally time she bit the bullet. She goes to her texts and opens the one from Jaida. </p><p>"Hi Gigi. Don't know if you still have my number saved so if you don't this is Jaida Hall. I know it's been awhile, but there's been a lot on my mind since graduation and I wanted to talk to you. I went to your house and your mom said you moved in with your father? I hope everything is going okay there. So I thought I'd text you and see if you wanted to talk. I'd understand if you didn't, but if you do call me anytime. -Jaida"</p><p>It's not what Gigi expected. Then again she doesn't know what she expected.</p><p>Gigi can hear the shower still going. She might not have enough time, but who knows when she'll have the nerve again.</p><p>She goes to her contacts and hits dial on Jaida's name. As she brings the phone to her ear she half hopes Jaida is busy or asleep and won't answer.</p><p>“Gigi?”</p><p>Jaida sounds to be in absolute disbelief and Gigi can't blame her. She probably gave up on Gigi responding after not hearing anything for a month.</p><p>“Hi,” Gigi says, feeling supremely awkward.</p><p>“Wow, I didn't think I'd hear from you,” Jaida says, blunt as always, “How's it going?”</p><p>“Really good actually,” Gigi says.</p><p>“Is it? That's great. I was a little worried when I heard you moved in with your dad.”</p><p>“It's not good because of him,” Gigi says with a snort. </p><p>Gigi never talked in-depth with Jaida about her dad so that fact that she remembers they had a strained relationship touches her.</p><p>“That makes more sense. So...”</p><p>“There's something you wanted to talk about?” Gigi says as soon as Jaida trails off. She wants to cut out the small talk for now and get to the heart of why Jaida wants to talk.</p><p>“Ah, yeah,” Jaida sounds like she would have been fine with Gigi never bringing it up, “A while back, I mean obviously, I ran into Nicky. Remember her? From Paris?”</p><p>Gigi searches her memory and does remember an absolutely gorgeous blonde girl that transferred from France their senior year. They never did talk much since at the time her English wasn't great.</p><p>“I remember,” Gigi says.</p><p>“I ran into her at the mall and we got to talking. She ended up asking me about you. She was curious because she didn't exactly understand what was going on at the time, but she knew enough to want to know how you were getting on. And the fact that I didn't even know made me feel even more shit than I already did and I just...I guess I've been thinking a lot and I knew even if you still hated me I wanted to say sorry.”</p><p>Gigi, previously laying back in bed, shoots up. “Hate you? Sorry?” she asks, “What do you have to be sorry for? And why would I hate you?”</p><p>“Do you not remember the majority of senior year? I don't exactly want to rehash it to you.”</p><p>“I remember. Everyone hated me when they got the chance because I was a bitch. How is that your fault?” Gigi asks.</p><p>“That's what everyone thought, but I knew you Gigi. I knew that wasn't true and I should have stood by you instead of ignoring you.”</p><p>Gigi shakes her head. “I was a bitch though.”</p><p>“You come off that way to people who don't know you, but that's not what you're like. You know I don't suffer fools, do you really think I'd like someone who was a bitch?” Jaida laughs a little.</p><p>Gigi smiles a little. “I never hated you Jaida. We were both scared and just trying to survive. I hated myself way more than I hated you.”</p><p>“I hope you didn't hate yourself more than you hated Alex,” Jaida grumbles a bit to herself, “I wish I could say that fixes everything, but I still feel bad.”</p><p>“It's fine,” Gigi assures.</p><p>“And it just sucks because we had so many plans for college and shit,” Jaida says, “If you get sick of being around your dad you can come back right? You don't have to worry about anyone from high school. I'll have your back. And Nicky will too for sure. We've gotten really close this summer, um, we actually have a date next Saturday.”</p><p>“Really?” Gigi laughs a bit, finding herself surprisingly delighted.</p><p>“Yeah, she really helped my through some feelings I had and...I mean, I think I had a crush on you? But I was not ready for it at the time. Nicky has helped me realize that I like girls and that's cool, you know?” Jaida says.</p><p>“I think it was the same for me,” Gigi says.</p><p>And Gigi realizes maybe it really was. Maybe it wasn't that she was shallow or heartless. Maybe she was just a teenager with issues because of her dad. Maybe she liked Jaida and didn't know what that meant or how to deal with it. Maybe Crystal was right.</p><p>Who is she kidding? Crystal is always right.</p><p>“I know you're going to say it's not true, but I feel like I'm part of the reason you ran away to your dad's and I know you don't really like him so seriously, you can come back if you want. If that's possible.”</p><p>Gigi thinks of Widow, Heidi, Jackie, Jan, and most importantly, Crystal. </p><p>She smiles to herself and shakes her head. “I think I'll stay here. It's nothing to do with what happened. I actually made some really good friends here and I, um, I met this girl.”</p><p>“A girl?” Jaida sounds interested.</p><p>“Yeah. Her name is Crystal. She's, I don't even know how to describe her,” Gigi lays back down on the bed with a sigh, “She's like, oh god this is going to sound so gross, I hope she doesn't hear this. She's like my sunshine?”</p><p>Jaida squeals in her ear and Gigi can't help but smile.</p><p>“Well, you're still going to come visit right? You have to see your mom,” Jaida says.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Let me know when you visit so we can hang out again. Maybe you can bring Crystal? We can go on a double date or something. Hopefully, I haven't had my first date with Nicky yet.”</p><p>“I think it'll go great,” Gigi says, “We'll definitely take you up on that double date.”</p><p>“Good because I'm already planning on telling Crystal you said she's your sunshine.”</p><p>“Stop!” Gigi shrieks.</p><p>Jaida laughs and Gigi can't help but follow.</p><p>The two girls hang up a couple minutes later with a promise to text more and meet up when Gigi comes home for Christmas.</p><p>She is still zipping her backpack after putting her phone away when Crystal enters with just a towel wrapped around her body.</p><p>“Is everything okay? I thought I heard yelling or laughing?” Crystal looks so concerned.</p><p>Gigi smiles and takes Crystal's hand, the one that she is using to hold up her towel so it falls around her feet. </p><p>“I'll tell you later,” she says, “First I need to take a shower and you're coming with me.”</p><p>“Wait, what?” Crystal looks very confused, but lets herself get dragged along back to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>Despite reconciling with Jaida, shower sex with Crystal, and going out for dinner, Gigi still finds herself trepidatious as Crystal pulls into the driveway at Jackie and Jan's house.</p><p>“Do you want me to come with you? Or you can always stay the night again,” Crystal says.</p><p>Gigi closes her eyes and takes a breath. “No, I can do this.”</p><p>She kisses Crystal goodbye and exits the car, taking a deep breath as she faces the house. Gigi enters expecting it to be silent so she's surprised when she hears water running in the kitchen. She looks in to see Jan at the sink washing dishes. </p><p>Jan must hear her because she turns and gives Gigi a small smile.</p><p>“Hey, welcome back,” she says.</p><p>“Hi?” Gigi says, walking into the kitchen, “Um, how's it going?”</p><p>“Good,” Jan says, turning her attention back to the dishes, “How's Crystal?”</p><p>Gigi is very confused. This is too normal.</p><p>“Fine, but, uh, everything's fine? Really?” Gigi asks, “Because it wasn't last night.”</p><p>“Oh,” Jan actually giggles a little, “Did you hear that?”</p><p>“More than you think,” Gigi says, “I left about when the yelling started.”</p><p>“Did we scare you off? I'm sorry,” Jan turns puts the last dish on the rack and turns off the tap. She grabs a towel to dry her hands and turns to Gigi with a pout.</p><p>“It's fine, but what happened?” Gigi has to ask.</p><p>“Oh. Well, after yelling and then talking at each other in circles we decided we needed to both cool off and talk in the morning,” Jan says, throwing the towel back on the counter, “So we talked again this morning for a long time. A really long time. About a lot of things. You heard what I told her?”</p><p>Jan bites her lip nervously and Gigi nods.</p><p>“Yeah, I heard everything up until the shouting started. Sorry.”</p><p>“It's fine. I would have listened in too if it was me,” Jan shrugs, “After that really long talk I see what Jackie was saying. I am going through a lot right now and maybe my brain is just making me think I like Jackie because it knows she likes me too. I really hope not though. Liking Jackie just feels right at this point, you know? And I got Jackie to see where I'm coming from too so we agreed we'd keep conversations about it open and she said if after I've had more time to work through my break up if I still feel the same she'd...we could give it a try.”</p><p>Jan smiles and Gigi's heart actually does a little flip in her chest.</p><p>“Really?” she asks.</p><p>“Yeah!” Jan laughs, clearly happy.</p><p>“That's awesome Jan. I'm so happy for you guys,” Gigi says, still in disbelief.</p><p>“Thanks. It's been tough, but that talk we had was so worth it. I think we both learned a lot and I thought I already knew everything about Jackie.”</p><p>An impulse overcomes Gigi and she can't help but groan at herself. “You know what? Come here.”</p><p>Gigi opens her arms and Jan squeals and runs into them, happy to receive a hug.</p><p>After prying Jan off of her Gigi goes upstairs to put away her backpack. She runs into Jackie in the hall and Jackie doesn't say anything as she grabs Gigi and pulls her into a squeezing hug.</p><p>“You are so lucky Crystal texted me,” she scolds, “Do you know how much I would have freaked if I woke up and you weren't here?”</p><p>Jackie pulls away to pinch Gigi's cheeks.</p><p>“Ow, I'm sorry,” Gigi says, pulling away and rubbing her cheeks.</p><p>Jackie sighs and hugs her again. “I was just so worried. You heard us yelling right? It must have upset you if you left.”</p><p>“It's fine. You had stuff to work out,” Gigi says.</p><p>“We did,” Jackie says.</p><p>It looks like she wants to end the conversation there, but Gigi doesn't move out of her way and gives her a look.</p><p>“What?” Jackie asks.</p><p>“You know what,” Gigi says.</p><p>Jackie sighs and shakes her head. “I shouldn't get my hopes up.”</p><p>Gigi notes that Jackie says she “shouldn't” not that she isn't hoping. That's enough for Gigi so she lets Jackie pass.</p><p>She empties her backpack, her cell phone coming out last. She picks up the device and considers it for a minute before deciding.</p><p>"Jackie, Jan!” she calls as she goes down the stairs, “What are your numbers?”</p><p> </p><p>Gigi tells herself that should be that. Her relationship with Crystal is great even if she still has trouble thinking of her feelings for Crystal as the L word, she reconnected with Jaida, Jackie and Jan are okay. Everything is great.</p><p>Telling herself that is less convincing when she's still working in the shop her father owns.</p><p>As much as she wants to push thinking about it out of her mind summer is almost over and she has decisions to make. Or rather, decisions she wants to make and just needs the courage to act on.</p><p>Gigi is doing inventory at the store and Jackie is in the tiny side office doing whatever manager stuff she needs to do on the computer.</p><p>When she's done she hands the papers to Jackie who takes them and turns back to the computer, but Gigi stays standing in front of the desk.</p><p>“You need something?” Jackie prompts, glancing up at her.</p><p>“I was just wondering something,” Gigi says rocking back and forth on her heels.</p><p>“Yeah?” Jackie probably senses Gigi's nervousness so she looks away from the computer to give Gigi her attention.</p><p>“Would you hate me if I quit?” Gigi asks. That's really not what she intended to say. She doesn't know why it comes out like that.</p><p>Jackie's eyes are sad and Gigi continues to regret the way she asked. “Of course not Gigi,” she says, “I would never hate you. You don't want to work here anymore though?”</p><p>“It's not that really,” Gigi says, “I just don't want to work at a place my dad owns.”</p><p>“I get it,” Jackie nods, “This can be your last day if you want. We've handled this place as three before, we can still do it.”</p><p>“There's one more thing. Could I move in? At least for the semester if not-”</p><p>Jackie's laugh interrupts her. “Gigi we invited you in after knowing you a day and you've practically moved in already. You can stay as long as you want.”</p><p>Gigi feels her body relax. “Thank you so much, really.”</p><p>“It's what friends do,” Jackie shrugs, “What are you planning though?”</p><p>“Could you take me to my dad's after work? And wait a bit for me to get my stuff together?” Gigi asks instead of answering.</p><p>“Yeah, I can help you pack if you want. Jan too,” Jackie offers.</p><p>“No, I'm going to do it by myself,” Gigi says.</p><p>Jackie looks confused, but concedes, “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you don't want help Gigi?”</p><p>Jan is less easy to convince than Jackie is.</p><p>“It'll go much faster.”</p><p>“It'll go fast anyway. I just have two suitcases there,” Gigi insists as she buckles her seatbelt.</p><p>“Just let it go Jan,” Jackie says.</p><p>Perhaps luckily for Gigi, since things are still a bit awkward between Jackie and Jan, Jackie's request is met. Jan purses her lips and crosses her arms from her position in the front passenger seat.</p><p>“It'll be ten minutes,” Gigi promises, even through she's not sure what is about to happen.</p><p>Jackie pulls into the driveway and puts the car into park. </p><p>Gigi meets eyes with Jackie when the older girl looks at her in the rearview mirror. It looks like she wants to say something, but doesn't know what.</p><p>Gigi gives Jackie a firm nod. “Be right back.”</p><p>She can hear her step-mom in the kitchen when she enters the house, but bypasses talking to her. She makes a beeline for the guest room and make quick work of putting the rest of her clothes in her suitcases. She could be out the door in two minutes if she was just packing up and leaving. That's not the plan though. </p><p>She grabs a suitcase in each hand and wonders where her dad might be. She considers leaving her suitcases by the door and searching for him. Thankfully she notices him from the corner of her eye in the living room and stops as she passes. </p><p>She stands in the doorway and her dad looks at her in surprise.</p><p>“Oh, Gigi. Didn't realize you were here,” he says.</p><p>“I just got in. And actually,” Gigi looks down at the suitcases in her hands and back at her dad, “I'm moving into Jackie and Jan's. Permanently.”</p><p>“You spend most of your time there anyway. Sounds like a good decision,” her dad says.</p><p>Gigi frowns. “I quit working at the store too,” she adds.</p><p>“That's fine. You're an adult, Gigi. You can do whatever you want. It doesn't matter to me,” her dad says like he's being reassuring.</p><p>Gigi almost wants to scream that that's the problem, but bites her tongue. “One more thing then,” she says, “Um, I don't want you to call me on whatever holiday or birthday you feel like it. If can't give me a consistent relationship I don't, I don't want one.”</p><p>That finally gets her dad to pause. “I'm very busy Gigi. You know it's not that I'm ignoring you.”</p><p>“<em>No, I don't.</em>”</p><p>“I know,” Gigi says instead, “So just think of it was one less thing to do. Thanks for letting me stay.”</p><p>Gigi turns actually half expecting her dad to stop her or say something, but silence follows her out of the living room.</p><p>Standing in the hall is Samantha. It's obvious she's trying to hold back tears and she's sniffling.</p><p>Gigi sighs internally and goes over to her. </p><p>“Bye Samantha. Thanks for your hospitality,” she says.</p><p>“Oh Gigi,” Samantha rubs her eyes, “I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been better, maybe then you'd-”</p><p>“This isn't about you,” Gigi interrupts, “You're a great step-mom. It's my dad who isn't giving me the relationship I...I deserve.”</p><p>Samantha sniffles again. “I understand,” she says. </p><p>She gives Gigi a hug which Gigi doesn't return, but she allows. </p><p>“Thanks again,” Gigi manages a small smile after Samantha lets her go.</p><p>She continues down the hall to the front door. She steps back out to the cooler evening air, the door closing behind her with a sense of finality.</p><p>She walks back to the car with no one watching her leave.</p><p> </p><p>Jan and Gigi put the rest of Gigi's clothes in the dresser while Jackie sits on Gigi's bed and connects her laptop to their router. Gigi stays silent even as Jan chatters on about making the room more Gigi's.</p><p>“You should get a desk or something with the money you made working,” Jan says, “You'll need it for school. It's a shame we never got all the necessities for this room, but I guess now you can do whatever you want with it.”</p><p>Gigi just hums.</p><p>“I'm thirsty,” Jan says, closing the last drawer on the dresser, “Anyone else want a soda?”</p><p>“I'll take one,” Jackie says, not looking up from Gigi's laptop.</p><p>“No thanks,” Gigi says.</p><p>Jan skips out of the room. Gigi can feel Jackie's head turn to look at her even as she tries to distract herself by messing with her sewing kit.</p><p>“What'd you do?” Jackie asks, setting Gigi's laptop to the side. </p><p>Gigi doesn't respond immediately and Jackie gets up to come over to her. Jackie puts a warm hand on her shoulder and Gigi opens her mouth to speak when Jan reappears.</p><p>“Here you go,” she hands Jackie her soda.</p><p>Despite her current state Gigi notices Jan's whole hand in holding the can so Jackie has no choice but to touch her hand when she goes to grab it.</p><p>Jackie mouths “later” at Gigi after taking the can.</p><p>Gigi can do later without Jan, but.</p><p>She looks at Jackie and then at Jan who is opening her can of soda.</p><p>“I, I told my dad I didn't want to talk to him anymore unless he was going to make a regular effort,” she says.</p><p>Both girls look at her and both look like they want to ask what happened, but they also already know.</p><p>“He's not so,” Gigi can't even finish the sentence as suddenly her throat closes and all that comes out is a sob.</p><p>She drops to the floor, hands coming up to cover her face, sobs wracking her body harder than they have in years. </p><p>Warm arms surround her as both Jackie and Jan hug her wordlessly.</p><p>Gigi cries until her throat hurts and her hands are warm and wet with tears and snot. </p><p>When she finally calms down Jackie and Jan pull away, but both keep an arm around her. Gigi wipes her gross hands on her shirt and then back to her face to wipe at the stray tears still coming out of her eyes. She leans against the dresser, turns her head left to look at Jackie and then right for Jan. Both girls give her small smiles. Jackie rubs her back.</p><p>“Thanks guys,” she says.</p><p>Jan smiles wider at her and echoes what Jackie said just a few hours ago. </p><p>“It's what friends do.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Say It Like You Mean It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. I have been writing fanfiction for various different fandoms for about a decade and a half at this point, but I think this is the most fulfilling thing I've ever written. For one it's definitely the longest thing I've ever written, and I've developed my own style and gotten more comfortable with it over the years. More importantly though is this fandom whether it's for my silly short smut fics or a big project like this, has been the most engaged fandom I've ever encountered. And it's because of that and you all that this fic and all the Drag Race fics I have written and will write exist. I cannot express in words how thankful I am for every comment, kudos, bookmark or even click this fic has gotten. I appreciate every single one of you. I started posting this earlier than planned because I was stressed about the US election and it's your response that had me posting weekly and made a very stressful and scary time actually enjoyable at moments. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.<br/>2. As I alluded to above I will keep writing for this fandom because I have plenty of ideas though none of this magnitude so keep on the lookout for those. Most are smaller smut things tbh because I have a problem and there's one kind of more involved fic I have rolling around my head if I can just iron a plot out of it. Some of these fics will be side stories for God's Country so check that out if you haven't, it's a long oneshot (technically twoshot but second chapter is just smut. Do people still use the word oneshot I haven't seen it in a while oh god.) I wrote and it involves cowgirl Crystal so.<br/>3. Music is a huge inspiration to me just in general so I listened to a lot of stuff while writing this. Near the end I discovered a band called The Aces and their song Going Home is major Gigi and Crystal in this fic vibes so I was just going to namedrop that song in the notes at the end, but then I was like hey there's lots of namedrops in this fic why not just make a playlist so here she is: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2CcSH2BNPgwBNwYKxYr6oO?si=PCko3GJmRcOdhVLOL52SJw (it's not all pop punk I promise)<br/>4. Chapter title is from an album this time rather than a song. Say It Like You Mean It by The Starting Line.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gigi's body isn't used to sleeping in during the week so despite her wishes she wakes up early even without Jackie opening her door. Jan's muffled singing through the door doesn't help either.</p>
<p>So even though she hasn't had to work for three days now Gigi drags herself out of bed and hangs out in the kitchen while Jackie and Jan get ready to leave. Mostly to get coffee out of Jackie.</p>
<p>“I still like you,” Gigi hears Jan say as she walks through the living room to the kitchen and it makes her stop in her tracks.</p>
<p>“Are you going to tell me that every day?” Jackie asks.</p>
<p>“I just want you to know my mind hasn't changed. I can stop if you want,” Jan says.</p>
<p>“You know I'll overthink the hell out of it if you don't say it for one day,” Jackie says, “Let's just keep it to the talks. I believe you, I do. Just...”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“You were going to get married Jan.”</p>
<p>“It would have been a mistake. I'm sorry.”</p>
<p>“We're not going in circles apologizing again. It's not helpful and we've said all this already,” Jackie says. She sounds like she's smirking, “What we need to talk about it what we're going to when you run into Kyle on campus when the semester starts.”</p>
<p>“Punch him probably,” Jan says, surprisingly deadpan.</p>
<p>“That's my job.”</p>
<p>“I'm stronger than you.”</p>
<p>Jackie laughs. “Seriously though, there's still a lot to work through. I'll be there every step of the way, no matter what.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Jan says, “Hey Jackie? Can you take me to the bar you go to before schools starts? I'm not planning on picking anyone up or anything. I just want to see what it's like.”</p>
<p>“You can pick someone up. I don't mind.”</p>
<p>“I'm not looking for that. I just want to experience that kind of atmosphere, you know?” Jan says, “Since I know I like girls.”</p>
<p>“We can go. But don't expect-”</p>
<p>“I'm not expecting anything from you.”</p>
<p>“Well now that just sounds bad,” Jackie says and Jan giggles, “We'll talk later. We got to get going soon. I made another cup of coffee for Gigi, but she's still not here. Maybe she's on her own sleep schedule now.”</p>
<p>Gigi takes that as a cue to stop eavesdropping like always and walks into the room like she wasn't listening. </p>
<p>“Who, me?” she says casually.</p>
<p>“I made you coffee,” Jackie says, nodding to a mug on the counter, “Ready Jan?”</p>
<p>“Yep,” Jan stops leaning against the counter, “See ya, Gigi.”</p>
<p>Gigi waves the girls off and then grabs her mug and goes into the living room to crash on the couch.</p>
<p>Sitting around the house all day is surprisingly boring. She watches TV, she sketches some outfit ideas, she surfs the internet, and she even washes the dishes. Nothing really gets rid of that restless feeling of boredom though. </p>
<p>Like most days since she stopped working Gigi eventually embraces the dullness of having nothing to do and lays on the couch to watch more TV.</p>
<p>A frantic knocking interrupts her as she mindlessly watches National Geographic. She hesitates given that she hasn't lived here long and still feels like a stranger, but the knocking is insistent enough that she gets up and goes to the door.</p>
<p>She opens it and barely has time to register Crystal before her girlfriend is hugging her.</p>
<p>“Why didn't you tell me you quit work?” she whines, squeezing her tight.</p>
<p>“I didn't?” Gigi searches her memory and comes up blank, “I've been thinking about it for a couple days. I guess I forgot I didn't say anything. You could have texted me though.”</p>
<p>Crystal pulls away so she can look her in the eye. “Yeah, but I have something I wanted to tell you in person so when Jackie told me you weren't working there anymore I ran over.”</p>
<p>“You better not have ran.”</p>
<p>“Drove,” Crystal corrects.</p>
<p>“What is it then?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>Crystal takes both of Gigi's hands in hers. “My project is done,” she says, smiling brightly, “I want you to come see it this weekend.”</p>
<p>“The weekend? Is it that big of a production?” Gigi says to mask her sudden nervousness.</p>
<p>“Not really. I guess it was more I was expecting you to be working and I wanted you to sleep over. And not have to leave early,” Crystal blushes.</p>
<p>“I'll be there,” Gigi assures her, “Since you're here there's something else I should tell you, besides the not working thing. It happened the same day I quit, but I didn't want to say anything when we were texting the last couple days because I wanted to tell you in person.”</p>
<p>“Hey, I'm here because I wanted to tell you something in person too,” Crystal shrugs, “Hit me.”</p>
<p>Gigi takes a breath. “I told my dad not to call anymore, unless he was going to do it regularly. I don't know if he'll listen, but...if he tries I'm not going to answer. I'm not, I'm not doing it anymore.”</p>
<p>Gigi rests her head on Crystal's shoulder and Crystal arms comes around her shoulders.</p>
<p>“You can cry if you want. It's okay,” Crystal murmurs.</p>
<p>“I cried enough to Jackie and Jan the day it happened,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“You cried to them before me?” </p>
<p>Gigi pulls away and Crystal is pouting. It's joking, but it makes Gigi realize something.</p>
<p>“One day you'll finally get mad at me,” she says.</p>
<p>Crystal smiles slightly. “One day <em>you'll</em> actually get mad at <em>me</em>. And not your cute eyeroll fake kind of mad.”</p>
<p>Gigi kisses Crystal because they'll fight one day, they'll get mad at each other, but it's not now.</p>
<p>“I'm proud of you,” Crystal says when they part, “For doing what you want with your relationship with your dad.”</p>
<p>Gigi rolls her eyes like she's trying to dislodge the feeling Crystal saying that gives her. “Okay, mom.”</p>
<p>Crystal brushes some hair behind Gigi's ear. “Hey, you can be proud of someone you...you're dating. And I'm proud of you a lot.”</p>
<p>Gigi opens her mouth, to say what she doesn't know. She just knows it scares her enough that she just closes her mouth instead of speaking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gigi makes Jackie cart her off to Crystal's on Saturday. Crystal said she could pick Gigi up, but Gigi insisted on being driven since Crystal is visibly nervous about the whole thing. Hopefully not because the painting didn't turn out how she wanted.</p>
<p>“You're coming back Sunday?” Jackie asks as she pulls out of the driveway.</p>
<p>“Probably,” Gigi says with a shrug.</p>
<p>“No promises, huh? Smart girl,” Jackie teases.</p>
<p>“I'm definitely not going to be home tonight if there's anything you want to get up to,” Gigi fires back.</p>
<p>“The only thing I'm getting up to is more talking, if anything,” Jackie shakes her head.</p>
<p>“You have a lot of restraint,” Gigi notes.</p>
<p>“What? For not jumping Jan the first second I had a chance? It would be a lie to say that I didn't consider it, but at the end of the day I love and respect Jan with my entire heart. I couldn't do that to her, to us.”</p>
<p>Gigi rests her head in her hand and stares out the window. “I think it will work out,” she says quietly.</p>
<p>Gigi can feel Jackie turn her head to look at her briefly.</p>
<p>“You have more hope than me,” she says, “Never thought I'd see that.”</p>
<p>“I really believe Jan. I see why it's hard for you though.”</p>
<p>“I believe her too,” Jackie stresses, “It's...the permanence I'm having trouble with. I'm not even thinking about it right now. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”</p>
<p>“And if it doesn't?” Gigi asks.</p>
<p>“I'm too scared to think about it happening. Or rather, I'm too scared to think about it <em>not</em> happening after getting so close.”</p>
<p>“You'll be okay,” Gigi finally turns to Jackie as she pulls into the parking lot of Crystal's apartment building, “No matter what happens.”</p>
<p>Jackie smiles at her and reaches over to tuck some hair behind Gigi's hair in her mothering way.</p>
<p>“And so will you, my dear,” she says, “So don't be afraid of your feelings.”</p>
<p>“I'm trying,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>She says goodbye to Jackie and makes her way into the shaky elevator up to Crystal's apartment.</p>
<p>Crystal opens the door a little breathless like she was running about the place before Gigi showed up.</p>
<p>“Come in,” she says, opening the door wider, “I'll take your backpack.”</p>
<p>Gigi takes off and hands her backpack to Crystal who scurries off to her room to put it away. While alone she eyes the sheet-covered canvas in the living room warily.</p>
<p>“You are making this a big production,” she says when Crystal comes back out.</p>
<p>“I can't just have you walk in and see it! I need to unveil it,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>She walks over to the canvas and Gigi follows her. It's pretty large and longer than it is wide, but if it's a full body painting that's to be expected. </p>
<p>Crystal turns to her and nervously fiddles with her rings. “I hope you like it.”</p>
<p>“I'm sure I will,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Crystal takes a breath and turns around to pull the sheet off the canvas. </p>
<p>Gigi finds herself staring at, well, herself but also not herself. A her that she never would be able to see with her own eyes.</p>
<p>The Gigi in the painting's orange and yellow hair is spread out in a circle around her head that looks like the sun. Her bright hair and alabaster skin make her stand out sharply from the matte black of the background. Crystal has given her eye makeup to match the sun of her hair, orange and yellow, and her eyes also seem to have little stars twinkling in them. Her lips are a pale pinkish orange and slightly open in an alluring way. Her hands are placed with fingers splayed a few inches from her face and hovering off her fingertips are colorful little orbs that look like planets. The dress she's wearing is the same one she wore on their first date except instead of plain black Crystal has painted galaxies of purple and white and blue onto it, the white starlight emitting from the dress making it stand out from the background. Her legs and feet are bare, but like the rest of her skin seems to sparkle like it's covered with a sheen of stardust and her toe is pointed like she is balancing on a small orange planet circled by a rainbow of rings. </p>
<p>It's only after she's taken the big picture in that her eyes focus on the curly lettering at the top of the painting, standing out starkly against the black background despite the flames of Gigi's hair threatening to swallow them.</p>
<p>“The sky will never look the same again”</p>
<p>Gigi brings a hand to her mouth and it's only then she realizes she's shaking. This isn't her, this is a space goddess and the fact that someone looked at her and thought of this makes her heart want to burst out of her chest. She turns to Crystal who is biting her lip, apprehensive.</p>
<p>“Is this how you see me?” she whispers. </p>
<p>“I rather like to believe I see you as you are. Because I don't just want like some cosmic entity, I want all dimensions. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. So,” Crystal looks at the painting, “This is more like, how you make me feel.”</p>
<p>How it feels.</p>
<p>Gigi drops her hand. “I love you,” she says and tears start to prick at her eyes.</p>
<p>Crystal starts to smile and open her mouth, but Gigi keeps going.</p>
<p>“That sounds really bad, right? Saying that after you showed me this beautiful painting. But it's not the painting. I've felt it for a while, I just couldn't admit to myself that this is what it feels like because it's scary,” Gigi can feel tears sliding down her cheeks and she tries to wipe them, but they aren't stopping, “Which is silly because you and, everyone really, but especially you have shown me what it's like to be cared for and relied on and trusted. And it feels so good that the thought that it could go away is so scary. But also I don't want to ever forget it. Even if we break up. I want to remember I had this feeling forever.”</p>
<p>Crystal opens her mouth again, but only a small sob comes out at first. “Ooh, Gigi. You made me cry now,” she says, wiping at her eyes and then coming up to Gigi to wipe at her own tears.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Gigi says with a sniff.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Crystal says, as her thumb runs across Gigi's cheek, “I've felt it for little while. I just didn't want to say anything at least for now because I knew it would make you uncomfortable. But if you're okay with me saying it, I love you. Don't talk about breaking up though.”</p>
<p>Crystal smiles slightly and Gigi laughs.</p>
<p>“I was just saying,” she says, “But don't worry. Even if, when, we fight I'm not going to run away from it. I know we can work it out. I believe that now.”</p>
<p>“I'm glad,” Crystal says, “Cause I can get really annoying.”</p>
<p>Gigi laughs and kisses Crystal who wraps her arms around Gigi's shoulders.</p>
<p>When Gigi pulls away her eyes go back to the painting and the words across the top.</p>
<p>She looks back at Crystal. “I know that's a New Found Glory lyric.”</p>
<p>Crystal actually throws her head back and laughs. “Damn, you caught me,” she says.</p>
<p>“Somehow I still find you charming,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>Gigi starts kissing Crystal again. She puts her hands on Crystal's waist and starts walking them back toward Crystal's room.</p>
<p>“I had plans for dinner,” Crystal says, pulling away just enough to speak.</p>
<p>She is not remotely resisting Gigi's advancement to the bedroom though so Gigi's keeps walking.</p>
<p>She gives Crystal a mischievous smile as she pushes open the door, one hand going under Crystal's shirt.</p>
<p>“It'll still be there in a few hours.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Gigi gets up off the couch and peeks out the window for the hundredth time in the last two hours.</p>
<p>“Gigi, I'm sure she'll call if she gets lost. You don't need to keep checking to make sure she's not driving in circles outside,” Jackie says from the armchair.</p>
<p>Gigi sits back down after looking out at the still empty street. Crystal's arm comes to wrap around her shoulder.</p>
<p>“She'll be here soon,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>It's funny having Crystal be the one to assure her considering how anxious Crystal is to meet her mom. No matter how much Gigi insists her mom will love her, Crystal still feels pressured to live up to whatever expectations she assumes her mom has. She even dyed her hair back to its natural brown. Of course Crystal says she dyes her hair a lot and she'll be dying it a different color soon, but Gigi's pretty sure the reason she hasn't yet is to make an impression on her mom that she's comfortable with. </p>
<p>“Crystal you're so nervous, it's so cute,” Jan says, tactless as ever as she comes into the living room from the the kitchen.</p>
<p>Jan pokes Crystal's cheek before squeezing herself next to Jackie on the armchair even though it's not for two people.</p>
<p>“Well, yeah!” Crystal whines, “I want Gigi's mom to like me.”</p>
<p>“She'll like you,” Gigi says for the millionth time.</p>
<p>“I know,” Crystal says, sounding entirely unconvinced.</p>
<p>Gigi is up again a few minute later, looking out the window. At this point she's not even expecting to see anything, but this time she sees a familiar car pulling into Jackie and Jan's driveway.</p>
<p>“She's here!” Gigi shouts behind her and then throws open the door to run outside, uncaring about the autumn chill in the air.</p>
<p>Her mom is getting out of the car as she runs down the walkway and she immediately holds her arms out for Gigi to jump into.</p>
<p>“You found it!” Gigi says, squeezing her mom tight.</p>
<p>“I told you this new GPS thing I got is pretty good,” her mom says, “Got me right here in a few hours.”</p>
<p>“Did you bring my machine?” Gigi pulls away from her mom to look in the backseat of the car, seeing a couple more suitcases full of winter clothes, fabric and threads, and sitting next to the suitcases her all-important sewing machine.</p>
<p>“Of course you silly girl,” her mom pats her on the head.</p>
<p>“Need help?” </p>
<p>Gigi looks over at the house to see Jackie and Jan coming down the walkway.</p>
<p>“Mom, this is Jackie and Jan,” Gigi says, pointing each girl out to her mom.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you girls,” her mom reaches out to shake Jackie's hand then Jan's, “Thanks so much for taking care of Gigi for me.”</p>
<p>“She takes care of us just as much,” Jackie says graciously.</p>
<p>“Where's Crystal?” Gigi asks, glancing behind the girls.</p>
<p>“She had to go to the bathroom,” Jan says.</p>
<p>Gigi scoffs and rolls her eyes. </p>
<p>“Sure she did,” she says, shaking her head.</p>
<p>“We'll help with your bags,” Jackie offers.</p>
<p>Gigi and her mom hand off a suitcase to Jackie and Jan each. Gigi insists she will take the sewing machine in herself. </p>
<p>Her mom is halfway in the car pulling out the last suitcase when Gigi looks at the front door of the house to see Crystal passing Jackie and Jan at the entrance. Jan gives Crystal a reassuring pat on the shoulder and Crystal grimaces good-naturedly. </p>
<p>Their eyes meet as Crystal walks down the front walk to the car, Gigi smiling reassuringly. Gigi reaches out a hand and grabs Crystal's as she nears, turning back to the car where her mom still hasn't noticed Crystal's approach.</p>
<p>“Mom,” Gigi says to get her attention and her mom pulls herself out of the car, “This is Crystal.”</p>
<p>“Hi,” Crystal's voice and hand are shaky as she reaches out for her mom's hand, but Gigi's mom bypasses her hand to wrap her arms around Crystal in a hug.</p>
<p>“Crystal! It's so nice to finally meet you,” she says then pulls away to get a good look at her, hands on Crystal's shoulders, “Look how cute you are. You look just how I imagined you would.”</p>
<p>“Mom, please,” Gigi rolls her eyes, but she's smiling.</p>
<p>“Thanks?” Crystal says, voice soft.</p>
<p>“Can you take the last suitcase to my room?” Gigi asks, “Jackie or Jan can show you where it is. Crystal and I will get the sewing machine.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” her mom says, finally pulling the last suitcase out of the backseat, “We'll have plenty of time to talk more when we go out to dinner tonight.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>As her mom goes up the walk to the house Gigi turns to Crystal for a nice “I told you so”, but stops when she sees tears welling up in Crystal's eyes.</p>
<p>Gigi's own eyes soften. “What are you crying about?” she asks, brushing a hand across Crystal's cheek.</p>
<p>“It's just...I haven't had a mom-hug in so long,” Crystal says with a sniffle, “I missed it.”</p>
<p>Gigi laughs. “I get all my mom-hugs from Jackie when I need them. You could have too if you didn't fuck her first.”</p>
<p>Crystal gasps. “Gigi! Your mom is here! Don't talk like that.”</p>
<p>“She can't hear,” Gigi laughs again and sticks her head in the back of the car, “Now help me with my baby.”</p>
<p>“I thought I was your baby,” Crystal teases.</p>
<p>Gigi comes out of the car with the sewing machine in her arms and gives her a look.</p>
<p>“So you want me to carry one end?” Crystal asks.</p>
<p>“On second thought I'll carry it myself. I just need you around so if it looks like I'm going to fall you save my machine and leave me to die,” Gigi says.</p>
<p>“Never,” Crystal says.</p>
<p>“You better,” Gigi says. She hitches the machine higher up on her arms and starts for the front door with Crystal closely behind.</p>
<p>As they enter the house they can hear Gigi's mom talking to Jackie and Jan in the living room, but Gigi bypasses that to go upstairs. Crystal keeps a firm hand on her lower back to keep her steady as they climb the stairs.</p>
<p>All the suitcases have been placed neatly on the ground next to Gigi's dresser. Thankfully out of the way of her path to her brand new desk where she gently places her sewing machine.</p>
<p>“This really feels like your room now, huh?” Crystal says.</p>
<p>Gigi looks around. It's still pretty plain, but the band posters Crystal gave her and the dress form she bought along with the desk does add some personalization to it. Having her sewing machine on the desk helps too. And so will having fabric and threads and sketches littering the place which she thinks will happen very soon.</p>
<p>“I guess it is,” Gigi says, turning to Crystal, “So we'll have to crash here more now.”</p>
<p>“You'll want to keep staying in my tiny apartment when Jackie and Jan finally get together in like a week and are making out all over the place.”</p>
<p>“That's not happening,” Gigi says, “Jackie said she's not going to go out with Jan until the semester ends at the very earliest. There's still a lot for both of them to work through.”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Crystal says, clearly unconvinced.</p>
<p>Gigi smirks and reaches a hand up to wrap some strands of Crystal's curly, brown hair around her finger. “I like when you're sarcastic,” she says.</p>
<p>Crystal smirks back and leans in to kiss Gigi.</p>
<p>“Gigi, are you in your room?”</p>
<p>Crystal pulls away fast when she hears Gigi's mom calling from downstairs.</p>
<p>Gigi giggles at her. “Yeah, we're coming back down,” Gigi calls so no one tries to come up for a minute.</p>
<p>“Okay,” comes her mom's voice from downstairs.</p>
<p>Gigi looks back at a wide-eyed Crystal and takes her face into her hands to finally get that kiss.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Crystal says after Gigi pulls away.</p>
<p>Gigi smiles and says exactly what she's feeling.</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I'm still here because there are a couple things I wanted to share about what happens that I couldn't fit into the fic so I thought I'd share them here in a conveniently numbered list.<br/>1. Jackie actually does wait until the end of the semester to ask Jan out, but not a day longer than that lol. And since they've learned nothing they have that conversation in the living room. Gigi eavesdrops on the whole thing and screams internally as she watches them have their first kiss.<br/>2. Jackie eventually tells Jan how she actually met Crystal on a night Crystal is sleeping over so Jan bursts into Gigi's room when they're having sex to be all "oh my god Crystal, you and Jackie? I never would have guessed" and Gigi gets mad and throws stuff at her.<br/>3. Crystal's parents do come around :)<br/>Thank you again.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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